We hear it all 👏🏻 the 👏🏽time 👏🏿: “Are strengths nature or nurture?”
In today's episode, we weigh in with their opinions on whether our strengths and talents are hardwired into our DNA or shaped by our environment and experiences. And, spoiler alert…we don’t always agree. 🫣
Listen in as we explore how nature and nurture play a foundational role in who we are and how we develop. You’ll enjoy some fun metaphors and personal anecdotes about the impact of childhood experiences and how understanding our nature can help us navigate our environments more effectively.
If you wonder about the interplay between your natural talents and the influences around you, this episode is for you. Thanks for allowing us to accompany you on your journey of self-discovery and growth, so you can lead through strengths!
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It’s nature AND nurture!: Are Strengths nature or nurture? We think it’s BOTH! Remember: Talent (nature) x Investment (nurture, environment, experience, knowledge, skills, practice, etc.) = Strength
You can’t grow what you don’t know! Recognizing our natural tendencies and how we can nurture them positively, rather than imposing them on others, is imperative for growth.
Watch out for negative impact and blindspots.: Look to your natural patterns to understand why certain experiences have a negative impact on you. Also consider when your natural tendencies might be overstepping others’ boundaries.
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Identify your talents. If you haven’t already, take the CliftonStrengths assessment to identify your natural opportunities for growth.
Recognize the impact of your environment. Acknowledge how your upbringing and surroundings have influenced you. Consider how the people, places, and things in your life today are nurturing (or hindering) your talent.
Learn how your CliftonStrengths can feel honored or insulted. Use these insights to nurture your strengths and manage what might negatively impact you.
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Lisa:
I'm Lisa.Brea:
I'm Brea.
Lisa:
And today's episode is all about nature versus nurture.
Brea:
This is a really hot button for me. And a hot button, just meaning it's interesting, intriguing. Are strengths nature? Are they nurture? This is exciting. Do you want to start with your answer first?
Lisa:
Okay. I think there isn't a clear answer. And I was very fascinated by this and still am. I think there's a part of us that is just DNA. And it doesn't matter if you drop me off in Antarctica when I was a toddler, I would have turned out in certain ways exactly the same. And I also think a lot of patterns in us come from nurture, come from our environment, our conditioning, the things we hear over and over again, or watch or see modeled in front of us, and they shape us in ways that we don't even realize. And I chased down the behavioral economists at Gallup a couple years in a row. So these are the smarty pants PhDs who create these instruments and just said, Hey, do we have a percentage? You know, can we know what bit comes from what part? And the way I net out their answer is we can't really measure that. And we can't really know. Although We all have our theories. So I thought it was kind of an unsatisfying answer and it probably was to them as well because we all just want an answer like 60% comes from our genetics and 30% comes from this thing and then 10% is this wild card that comes from over here. That would be cool if we could just know. That's where I landed. I think they're probably right that we've We really can't know and it's very difficult to measure. And I suspect, Brea Roper, that you disagree with me.
Brea:
Well, here's the thing. I wonder if we just need to define our terms. Are we talking about strengths? Are we talking about talent? Are we talking about what shows up on people's CliftonStrengths report? Or are we not talking about CliftonStrengths at all? I'd love to really just clarify what are we talking about?
Lisa:
Ooh, okay. So let's talk nature. What's nature to you?
Brea:
Well, where my mind goes is talent. Is talent nature or nurture? And that's where I feel like it is a very clear answer from that perspective because, you know, Gallup teaches that talent times investment equals strength. And at least in my mind, that's a very clear parallel to nature, talent multiplied by nurture, investment equals strength.
Lisa:
Uh-huh. Hmm. I feel like I just need to sit here in a deep pondering moment right now, because what you just said, that part's easy. I don't need to ponder that. I was thinking of it like nature equals DNA and nurture equals environment.
Brea:
Yeah, same, same. So if we say that talent is nature, then yeah, it's baked into you. It's DNA. It's, you know, how you come out of the womb. Nurture is investment. It's the time, the practice, the knowledge, the skills that you learn, but it also is the environment that you grew up in, right? It's the family that you grew up in. It's the teachers that you've had. It's everything else outside of nature that nurtures your nature, either positively or negatively, right? What say you?
Lisa:
Well, I just I think we're pretty close. If I replaced the word nurture with environment. It works for me so easily because of all those things you listed off, country you grew up in, all kinds of elements around you and what you, the actions you've taken toward your growth and that others have even taken toward or away from, especially in your younger, younger years where you weren't the one with agency over that sort of stuff. I think environment, if I replace the word nurture with environment, everything you said, I would be like, yep, we are totally in agreement. The word nurture, trying to associate it with negative doesn't make sense for me, just the word itself. I can play, I can do that for this episode and go, oh yeah, I think we're totally in agreement. I'm glad you did definition. But nurture is a good thing to me. So saying, that there's a negative nurture doesn't, my mind's like, bonk, that's not, that's not true. So I think we're in agreement. And I'm glad you did this because it is a definition thing. So we'll just do nature versus nurture. And then I'll just be like, and put my put my little asterisk on that, as we're talking. And for me, I'm talking environment.
Brea:
Yeah. Well, I think of it like this, you know, I'm the queen of metaphors. So here we go. If you're born a super sleek, sexy sports car, but you really want to become an SUV, right? Like You're never, you're never going to become an SUV. Like you are a sports car. You can drive your sports car up into the mountains or go off-roading. You can do the things that the SUV might do, but your body is just not made for that. It's going to hurt your tires.
Lisa:
You might just get stuck. I've seen one in Colorado last summer. It was high-centered off-roading in a hot hatch little car. It was made for being fast on a pavement and it was out on Cottonwood Pass. It's not where it should be. I don't know how it got to where it got, but it didn't get out.
Brea:
Yeah. So why didn't they go rent or borrow or figure out how to get a different tool to do the same thing? And the opposite could be said for an SUV. You don't want to put that on a race car track and expect it to handle the curves and go at the speed that the race car is designed to do. I think that's where I see it as like, we all are built, nature, we're built a certain way. And you could use the metaphor of bodies as well. Some people have more of an athletic, strong, really muscular build. You've got a football body maybe, or you've got a ballerina body or like a long and lean you know, runner's body. Like, both have muscles, both have skeletons, but they're different. And both of the bodies can go into the gym, and they can both do leg day, and they're going to work out the exact same muscles, but just because the muscles are built differently, they're going to develop differently.
Lisa:
Yes. Yes. This reminds me of When I was a kid, I was obsessed with organizing. And I still am. So I believe it's totally a nature thing. I don't care where I am, I'm going to be organizing things. I want my visual environment to be tidy. And I was the kid, literally single digit ages, probably six or seven, saying, Mom, I'm going to clean out the refrigerator again because it's too cluttered. Mom, I'm going to clean up the cabinets again and organize these bowls. And I had to do it. Even if it wasn't welcomed, I would feel compelled to do it. Totally the nature.
Brea:
Yeah, that's talent. That is the most natural way for you to approach a situation. There's that natural desire. So I think if people take assessments like CliftonStrengths earlier in their life, before they've learned the way that they should behave or the way that other people want them to behave or whatever, then what the assessment really finds is your nature, your most natural patterns, not your learned behaviors.
Lisa:
Right, right. Yes, I agree. Yeah, I won't fight you on that at all. And I think that it translates as you age, it translates into probably more practical uses. But also it can show up in my shadow side. I feel myself compelled to organize other people's things. Like if I'm around a person who isn't as tidy as I am, I want to straighten that thing up or put it in a proper spot because everything should have a home. And there are things like that where it may not be my business to be messing with somebody else's stuff in the house. Those kind of things. But it's driving me like, oh, Oh, that has to go where it lives. In my case, that would be blind spot. That would be overuse of, it would be not my place to mess with somebody else's stuff. And so that comes into the nurture element as well. Because it's like, in this case, there's nature. And it might feel like nature versus nurture, because it's like, Okay, you also have to train yourself that you can't impose your talents on everybody else. You have to know what is your responsibility and where somebody else needs to be able to have their life and their strengths as well.
Brea:
Yeah, that's why having this language can be so helpful because if little Lisa doesn't have that self-awareness yet, and is punished, and I know you didn't say this happened, I'm just making it up for the sake of conversation. If someone punishes you or reacts in a negative way when you move things or deal with other people's stuff, then that will teach the little you that that's not the right thing to do or not the right way to behave, which is not true. It just is misplaced or misdirected in that moment, maybe. So if the adults can have the language and the awareness to say, okay, little Lisa, I see what we're trying to do here, and I love that you want to be organized. Now's not the right time, or we can't actually move other people's things, you know, so maybe you need to ask permission first. Right, right.
Lisa:
And in my case, as a kid, they were like, wow, the refrigerator looks so amazing. We love when you do this. I'm like, get out of the trash can. That's amazing. Yeah, I'm organizing it again. Maybe this is why I overstep as an adult. I never had someone say, oh, you should ask first. Other people use that too.
Brea:
Oh, that's funny.
Lisa:
Okay. I heard of another example yesterday in a workshop of a childhood thing that made me think, oh, this is cool to hear the contrast. So there were two people who led through command and they met in an activity where they were matching up with somebody else who shared the same talent theme and they both grew up in a household full of brothers where they were the only girl in the sibling group. And they came up with the question, is this nature or nurture? Because we really think it's because of nurture because our environment was all the boys around. We had to be bold. We had to be convicted. We had to be the powerful version of ourselves if we were going to play with them. And it's what made us have command. And I was like, oh, this is so interesting because I also had an event where a lady grew up in a family full of brothers. And she said something about how she got to be protected. She got to be nurtured by these brothers who took care of her and looked over her and that it made her soft. And she was convinced this is why she had all the relationship themes. Yeah. Same scenario. And they were convinced totally that it was the nurture. But actually, I think that makes the case that this is nature. They probably would have become who they were going to become either way.
Brea:
Yeah. I mean, as the oldest of eight kids, I can speak from experience, you know, that like growing up with the same parents in the same house with the same siblings, we are not all the same, you know, we do not all act in the same way. So for sure, that's, that's where I feel very, very strongly that we all come out with a certain nature baked into us and the same nurture. the same nurture ring will have a different effect on each individual receiving it because the nature is different. Yeah. Our nature is nurtured. Yeah.
Lisa:
I love it. Instead of the phrase nature versus nurture, that's such a cool way to say it. Our nature is nurtured.
Brea:
Yeah, it's super interesting. And another area that I talk about this is with trauma. A lot of people are really, you know, trying to become more trauma-informed and on their own healing journeys. Why are some negative experiences that we have in our life, why do they affect me in a certain way and they don't affect you in the same way? You know, even if we experience the same negative experience, right? And it's because our talents have different needs. And if I need something that you don't need and the nurture that we're a part of doesn't provide that, if you don't need it, that's not traumatic for you. It doesn't hurt you in any way because you don't need it. So the fact that it's not there is fine. But if I have a really strong need for that because of my talents and it's not there, then that does affect me in a negative way. So it's all very, very interesting.
Lisa:
Endlessly. Endlessly so. So if somebody wanted to talk through this sort of stuff with you, what they need, what they bring, what their talents are at the nature level, how they might nurture them more with your help, how would they work with you, Brea?
Brea:
Come on over to my website: brearoper.com. You can schedule a quick call and I’d love to hear more about you, what you’re looking for, and talk about how we might be able to work together. How about you, Lisa?
Lisa:
I am, for this episode, I'm just going to give people a resource on the Lead Through Strengths website. If you go to leadthroughstrengths.com slash honored, or leadthroughstrengths.com slash insulted, you'll see a list based on your talent themes, some things that might hit you at a values level. And I think, although you can get pretty close to this idea of what is innate in you, I think our talents sit on this system of values. And these pages bring it together where they get to explore some things that might make their talents feel totally honored, totally nurtured. And then the insulted page might be the non-nurture representation, where it hits them at a hot button level. And the episode was intriguing and people are listening wondering, what about me and what about my talents and how does it actually show up for my specific talent themes? I think those would be a couple of good pages to check out and run against your top talents.
Brea:
Yes, I've seen those pages and for sure the insults just like, oh, it hits me. I'm like, yes, I do not like the way that that feels. So yeah, it's a great resource. I'll make sure that goes in the show notes as well. Yeah.
Lisa:
Excellent. In your excellent show notes.
Brea:
Okay. Bring us home, Lisa. Bring us home. Wrap it up.
Lisa:
Let's see. I mean, I come back to this concept of becoming more of who you already are and getting really comfortable in that concept. We spend so much of our lives trying to direct and control and If we spend a little bit more time focused on finding who we are at our natural best, I think a lot of that other stuff gets released. The pressure that you might feel to want to control and direct things really just starts to let go.
Brea:
Grow the good, people. Grow the good.
Lisa:
Grow the good. Another fine alliteration to end on. Nature versus nurture, grow the good.
Brea:
Love it.
“Remember, hard work doesn’t have to feel hard. Aligned with your strengths, it actually feels easy, energizing, and fun!”
MEET YOUR CO-HOSTS
BREA ROPER
Communication | Woo | Activator | Futuristic | Connectedness
If you need a Strengths Hype Girl, for yourself or your team, connect with Brea at brearoper.com. She’s ready to deliver an inspirational keynote, empowering training, or transformational workshop. If you’re looking for an expert guide to support your internal Strengths efforts, reach out today!
LISA CUMMINGS
Strategic | Maximizer | Positivity | Individualization | Woo
To work with Lisa, check out team workshops and retreats at the Lead Through Strengths site. For 1:1 strengths or life coaching, check out the Get Coached link. For independent coaches, trainers, and speakers, get business tools support with our Tools for Coaches membership.
The Fine Print: This podcast is not sanctioned or endorsed by Gallup in any way. Opinions, views and interpretations of CliftonStrengths© are solely the beliefs of Lisa Cummings and Brea Roper.