As entrepreneurs, we often find ourselves in the dual role of both boss and employee, and it can be challenging to navigate that dynamic. In our last episode, Lisa & I talked about being a bad boss to ourselves, so this time we’re flipping the script.
We start by remembering how, as our own boss, we have the unique opportunity to create our ideal work environment and set our own priorities. So, how do we use that to our advantage? How can we be a good boss to ourselves?
Whether you're just starting out or looking to refine your approach, this episode is packed with insights to help you set yourself up for success by becoming the best boss you can be!
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Prioritize Your Life Values: One of the most empowering aspects of being your own boss is the ability to set your own priorities and values. Unlike traditional employment, where your contributions and responsibilities are often dictated by someone else, as an entrepreneur, you have the freedom to define what success looks like for you. Make the time to reflect on your life priorities. Then, align your business goals accordingly. This clarity will not only guide your decisions, but also help you stay motivated and fulfilled.
Honor Your Natural Rhythms: Recognize when you're at your best, and structure your work around those times. Whether that means scheduling meetings at times that suit your energy levels or allowing yourself breaks when needed (afternoon siesta, anyone?), being attuned to your own needs can lead to greater productivity and satisfaction. Remember, you have the flexibility to create a work environment that truly supports you!
Celebrate Your Wins: It’s easy to get caught up in the hustle and forget to acknowledge your achievements, big or small. But a good boss always recognizes effort, praises progress, and celebrates achievement. This boosts your morale and reinforces a positive mindset, making the entrepreneurial journey more enjoyable. So, give yourself a high five or a proverbial pat on the back. You deserve it!
Set Clear Expectations: This is crucial. A good boss is kind, and clarity is kindness. Knowing what success looks like on a daily, weekly, and monthly basis helps you stay focused and motivated so you get the results you’re after.
Practice Kind Self-Talk: The way you communicate with yourself matters. Approach your self-talk with curiosity and kindness, just as you would with a team member, to foster a supportive and encouraging environment for your growth. Would you talk to a friend or teammate the way you talk to yourself? If not, it’s time to make a change.
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Define Your Life Priorities: Set aside some time to identify and prioritize what matters most to you in your life and business. Reflect on how these priorities can shape your entrepreneurial journey.
Set Clear Expectations: Establish a ritual to clarify expectations for yourself on a daily basis. What does success look like for you? How will you get there? What do you need to be successful?
Honor Your Natural Rhythms: Pay attention to your body’s rhythms, including sleep cycles and energy levels. Track your rhythms to identify when you’re most energized and productive. Schedule your work and meetings accordingly.
Practice Positive Self-Talk: Be mindful of the conversations you have with yourself. Replace self-criticism with curiosity and kindness, treating yourself as you would a valued team member. Write affirmations for yourself. Speak them out, proud, loud, and often.
Celebrate Your Wins: How will you make it a habit to acknowledge and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small? Daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly, yearly. Recognize the effort you put in and take time to appreciate your progress.
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Lisa: I'm Lisa.
Brea: I'm Brea.
Lisa: And today we're talking about a thing that Brea was so born ready to do. Tell them, Brea.
Brea: I am born to be a good boss to myself.
Lisa: I think you are. You're way better.
Brea: I wish I was. It was just a big fat lie and it didn't feel good coming out.
Lisa: The lie detectors in the room can be like, nope, I could tell she was forcing that excitement.
Brea: Oh, I want to be a good boss to myself. I'm trying to be a good boss to myself. It's hard. It's hard, which is why we're talking about this today. It's hard.
Lisa: Yes. So in past episodes, we've covered being a bad boss to yourself. So today we'll cover being a good boss to yourself and what some things are we've experimented with in terms of strategy and just the successes. Like you look back over the time in business and you see, oh, well, here are some things that worked. So I'm happy to share a few things that have worked for me. There are a few ways I've been a good boss to myself. There are many ways I've been a bad boss to myself. But today's focus will be all about the good.
Brea: Yeah. You know, after our last episode on being a bad boss to yourself, I was just like, I can't leave this here. We have this amazing opportunity as entrepreneurs to do it the way that we want to do it. you know, let's dream a little bit about if we had the best boss ever, who would we love to work for? What would that life look like for us? And can we be that for ourselves?
Lisa: Yes. And you know, being the good boss to yourself, you just built one of the items in right in that statement. And this is an area where I think it's distinct from being an employee is you get to decide who are you going to be to yourself? What are you going to create for a company? What's your life going to be like? What are the roles going to be like? everything about it, you get to make it up. And it is a distinct difference in what life can be like as an entrepreneur. And you just have to grant yourself that permission. And I love how you said that, because you basically, you just gave item number one, how to be well, there you go.
Brea: You know, if I was born to do something, it's to get things rolling.
Lisa: Let's go. And to dream, you know, you're always the dreamer. So there you go. Dream up what you want your life to be like.
Brea: Yes, you know, I love helping people find clarity. And so that's something that I really try to do for myself is I need clear expectations. So to me, those are two separate things, like having a vision, knowing where we're going and having clear expectations. They both obviously can go together and clear expectations are like every day, every hour, every minute, you know, however minute you want to get. making sure that there's clarity so you know what does success look like and have you got there.
Lisa: Yeah, totally. I think that is one of the key items for me. If I were to say, what am I doing when I'm being a good boss to myself, it would be when I'm putting my life priorities first. And that is an area that's really different from when I was an employee, because there's really a value exchange going on when you're an employee, where they're paying you to add some value to the organization. And they're specifying what that value is much of the time. Whereas when you are being a good boss to yourself, you can say, what are my life priorities? Now, sometimes like early in the business, absolutely. My life priorities were getting this thing off the ground, building revenue. And it was like a real revenue priority. But some years it's creativity. Some years it's some dream I have. Some years it's a lifestyle thing, which is more like current state. And I think that's a really cool thing we can do. It's a way we can be a good boss to ourselves that is just really unlike any other opportunity. It's such a cool thing about owning your own business.
Brea: It really is. Yes. Prioritizing, having that choice, and not just priorities, but really setting your own values. Like you said, your life values. How does that affect your business values? How do you bring your life values, personal values to your business in a really intentional way. I think that's such a fun experiment, especially as you're just beginning to kind of create, what does this business look like? That's pretty fun. Yeah.
Lisa: Yeah. So as you were talking about honoring values, I was thinking of another one that's kind of like honoring your own body rhythms, honoring your sleep cycles, honoring some of these things that you can do. Now I feel like I'm just selling being an entrepreneur. This is you being a good boss to yourself. And it's also you being able to do things you might not be able to do when you're in the constraints of a company's working hours or teams and the time zones they might have around the world. But wow, to be able to say, hey, I'm a person who starts meetings at 11 o'clock in the afternoon. That would be something you can't usually walk into an employment situation and say, I begin meeting availability at 11, whereas we can totally do that.
Brea: We can totally do that. Yes. I have a couple of days on my schedule that I only have a few hours available for meetings. And I have a couple of days where I have no meeting availability. So being the boss and getting to choose and getting to decide, that's so good.
Lisa: Yeah. Feels amazing.
Brea: Yeah. I love the word honor. I think we've both said it several times, and I think that there's something to that. Some of us, if you're thinking about being a boss to yourself and being a good boss to yourself, that is probably coming from a place of wanting to honor your own natural rhythms, your strengths. There's something about maybe the place you are, the situation that you're in that feels like it's not honoring how you are at your best. you know, that's not to say that everyone should be or needs to be their own boss, because sometimes honoring what's best for us is, is realizing that we like it when someone else gives us the direction and that it's our job to just execute on that. So consider your own, your own rhythms, your own needs and your own talents, your own, you know, makeup in that way to decide is being a boss to myself, even something that really, honors me, or am I kind of just maybe attracted to some of the flashy things that look so great, you know? But on a day-to-day basis, is that actually best for me?
Lisa: Well, I want to grab one of the things you said because you mentioned strengths. Well, hello, we're the Lead Through Strengths podcast. And everyone knows we're totally into the strengths lens. Being a good boss to yourself is, to me, very different in the strengths world than it was as an employee. I want to hear your opinion, too. But when I was a manager using the book StrengthsFinder, I would buy the book for every team member and we would talk about, what makes us come alive, what our fuels are, what our drains are. We would do this whole thing through the lens of strengths. And I would consciously bring up strengths through coaching conversations. I would just bake it into how we worked and operated and talked to each other. Well, when you're going it alone as a solopreneur, when you're being a boss to yourself, I have found it different. I actually have to really think, and I live in strengths world, and I have to very consciously say, Hmm, if I apply my strengths to this situation, how would I do it? And just in some of the silliest kind of ways, like I feel drained working on procurement processes at clients. So that's a thing that I have felt myself over the years getting drained by many times. I just wanted to be in the delivery or the marketing, but not the back end work of it. And it really took a while for me to say, Well, what would I do if I were in my strengths? And then it was obvious. Oh, I would use a team member to do this. I just had to consciously say, All right, if I were being a good boss to myself, what would I do here? How would I honor strengths? And I don't know why it suddenly became unnatural when it was me applying it to me. But when I was in leadership capacity, or I was in a corporate role, I really felt like it was more obvious that I needed to consciously apply strengths than when I went out on my own.
Brea: Oh, I have so many thoughts about that. Tell us. I think the first thing that comes to my mind is, well, of course it's harder to apply it to ourselves because don't we say that to our clients all the time? Like our strengths are so close to us that we can't even see them, right? They feel so natural to us that we miss them, right? And so when we're in an office environment or a team environment and we're using strengths, it's more of the like, let's put the right people in the right seats on the bus because we have that luxury because we have multiple people and When we just have ourselves and we're doing all the things that's a much different scenario. So, of course, it's hard
Lisa: Good point. Yeah. A lot of times this role has these responsibilities attached to it. And then you may not have certain capabilities as the business owner, but you need to cover those capabilities, whether you're doing those things yourselves or. yourself or hiring somebody else to do them. So it, you're right, it is a really different perspective there. And the way that I was wired when I started, I was like, I want to have at least a little bit of knowledge about everything that's going on. Because how could I be supportive in even decision making for someone if I have no clue what they're experiencing. So if I had outsourced procurement to someone in the first month of my business, I don't know if that would have been smart because I wouldn't have known what's going on. So I needed to go through some of the muck and then be able to outsource it. But I felt like early in the business, I wasn't proactively using my strengths. What would happen is I would be in whatever muck, something would be sucking the life out of me. And I would be like, Wait, this is supposed to be fun. I need to figure out how to work in my strengths. And then that would prompt me to ask myself questions about how to get in my strength zone. And that is a really different kind of, I wasn't doing that in corporate. I was just always using that as a filter. Whereas in my business, I would get down in the dregs of something and then say, Wait a minute, let's reframe this. How can we get into strength zone?
Brea: Yes, it's such a good point because especially if you're at the beginning of this journey, if you haven't even started your business yet, you're just kind of thinking about it or, you know, in the process of setting it up. Sometimes you don't have the resources, you don't have the money, you don't have the time, you don't have the people. Finding the right people to outsource to is a job in and of itself, which may or may not be part of your strength set. I mean, there's so much that goes into creating opportunities for you to exist in your strengths at work every day. And that may or may not be something that you do well, depending on your talents. So it's such a just a place to to realize that if it feels exceptionally difficult for you and give yourself the grace and then surround yourself with the people and the resources that you need to make sure that you can show up and do what you do best every day in your business.
Lisa: Yeah, that's right. I think the orientation to being a good boss to yourself in this way when it comes to outsourcing is really different. When I went out on my own and started bringing people into the company, I was thinking like a hiring manager. I need to find a person who can do all of these kind of things in the business. And so I was kind of looking for that one person to be a right hand. And that is what I did at this front end of the business. It was more like one or two contractors doing a huge amount of variety of things. And later what I learned is, oh, really being a good boss to myself would be outsourcing partners to do very small slices of tasks. And I think of the vendors or the contractors more like, hey, I'm just buying this small service from a person. That really helped me because then if a person ever turned over, it wasn't as much work to replace. They were really leaning into their strengths because they're really, really good already. I don't have to teach them. They already show up really good at that specific task. So that helped me a lot, but I really had to get into being an entrepreneur for a while before I started shifting my mindset like that. And it was really exciting then to use my strengths, but also someone else's strengths in these small slices. Whereas when you're employing people you have more of that corporate mentality. You don't think of it like that. You think of more like, I'm hiring one person who can figure out all these job duties.
Brea: Yes. Yes. It's so good. So this idea of playing to your strengths and leveraging your strengths is beyond just your own CliftonStrengths profile. How do you run your business from a place of strength? How do you bring that strengths mindset to your business? How can you lead from strength in your business in general? Yeah. I love it. So my communication wants to talk about the conversations that we have with ourself. One thing that I think of when I think of good bosses and working for a good boss is there's trust there, there's psychological safety there. Do you have that with yourself? Or are you constantly critical, constantly punishing, constantly focused on that self-criticism? Or are you approaching yourself and your business with curiosity, with the kinds of words that you would say to a team member if you were their manager? Are you using those same words and approaches with yourself?
Lisa: I have to know, since you lead through communication, are these conversations with yourself out loud? No. Yeah, I agree. It's a really important one. Are you at least being a good enough boss to yourself that you are having a conversation with yourself that is as kind as you would have with a stranger? I mean, that is a low bar.
Brea: A low bar.
Lisa: And how many people do we hear about or just really beating themselves up on all kinds of topics? I'm not good at marketing. I'm not good at selling. I'm not good at positioning. I don't know what my niche is. I cannot figure it out. I'm terrible at decisions. I don't know how to earn any revenue. I can't decide on my topics. I mean, we hear all kinds of things. You're not being a good boss to yourself.
Brea: Yeah. We know that when our strengths are stressed, the weakness comes out. And boy, is there a lot of stress in owning your own business and being a boss to yourself. So pay attention to that. Just look for, you know, if you feel like if you hear yourself saying those things, I'm not good enough. I don't know what to do. I can't. pay attention to where those insecurities are coming from or where those disappointments or discouragements or criticism is coming from, it's likely a clue to your talent. I really believe that it's the things that we really care about, the places where we see that potential in us that really get us down. So just reframe it, you know, untie the lie and realize that the truth is you can and you are good enough and get curious with yourself just like you would with one of your clients, someone that you're coaching and ask yourself what needs to be true. I love that rhyme. Oh, it's trademarked, so don't try.
Lisa: Yours or someone else's?
Brea: It's mine, yeah.
Lisa: Oh, look at you.
Brea: Part of my proprietary framework, you know, it's fine, it's fine.
Lisa: Amazing. Okay, so you were talking about your communication and some of the conversations with yourself. I would bring up some of the non-conversations with myself. Literally the downside of not talking to myself. What I mean by that is, okay, if I work myself into the ground and then I'm at a workplace with other people, I'm back at corporate in my past roles, you're going to have people in your life who look at you and go, hey, are you okay? You look really tired or you almost look sick today. Are you all right? You know, you have people who will check in, right? I would just not do that with myself. I would just be like, yeah, well, they're getting some bags under the eyes. Oh, keep pushing, you know, just completely keep ignoring because there are certain driving talents that I have, strategic, maximizer, focus, and those non conversations. I think those led to a real lesson about being a good boss to yourself because they were ways. I was a bad boss when I ignored them and really tuning into those signs and just stopping. So it's interesting to hear you with your communication talent. You're probably having a lot more proactive, ongoing conversations in your mind. And then for me, it was like the opposite. It was like the lack of that I had to recognize to be a good boss to myself.
Brea: It's a difference in perspective. It's a difference in if I am not surrounded with the people and the environment that I'm used to and all of a sudden now I just have me, how do you intentionally do those body check-ins? Or now you have to bring your spouse into the conversation or a best friend into the conversation. You still need a best friend at work even if you're not in the office. Yeah. So it's just, it's all the things that we know about what makes a good leader, what makes a good boss and redirecting it and reapplying it in a way that makes sense for you. Like you're the boss and the employee and the contractor.
Lisa: and the, you know, everything, you know, you are all of it and you can feel that as weighty, but you can also feel the amazing freedom of it. It's such a perfect full circle. Back to the beginning of this conversation where we were talking about honoring, honoring sleep, honoring body rhythms, honoring your soul, honoring your values to be a good boss to yourself. it is so important to remain tuned in. Because if you're not, you'll get those messages, but you won't get them in the nice, easy way. I had a mentor tell me, Lisa, you can get your messages with a feather or a hammer. And when you don't listen to the feathers, you're going to get the hammer over the head. And that is what my body was like. You're not listening, lady.
Brea: Yeah. So here comes the hammer. You got to listen to this. Yeah, absolutely. I think that's why it's so important to be proactive. That's the thread that I'm really picking up from this conversation is don't wait until it's too late, you know, until you're drowning to reach out for help or until your body is shutting down, you know, don't wait, invest in your own development and growth. Find a coach. Hire a coach. Find other support to surround you, other people who are paying attention to you and who want your good in a personal way and a professional way. We need to be investing in ourselves because you're running the business. it's important to be proactive and investing in that way. Yeah.
Lisa: That's a beautiful takeaway. I love that lesson for the whole episode that being a good boss to yourself is a practice. Being a good boss to yourself is a discipline.
Brea: It's a listening. Yeah.
Lisa: Yeah. Well, I just said what you said, so.
Brea: Yeah, yeah. The last thing that I think is a good send-off, celebrate your wins. It should go without saying, especially on a strengths podcast, but I'm going to say it because we forget to do it, and you have to. Celebrate your wins, big, small, doesn't matter, but this is what a good boss does. They see the effort that's put in. They acknowledge it. They see the progress. They celebrate it. Not just the outcomes and not just the big checks. It's everything that you do. Being a boss is hard. It's, there's a lot in this world, you know, especially if you're just starting. I mean, what do they say? The majority of people quit, you know, after one year or after two years. So it's challenging, right? So every little win, you got to celebrate it. And yeah, what a great strengths approach to do that. And if you're setting those milestones, right, being a good boss to yourself is setting those milestones, having that vision, and then celebrating once you hit the milestones.
Lisa: Yes, I second that. Everything you just said. And it can be structured, it can be milestones and goal achievement, but it can also just be like the moment of going, oh, that was really satisfying, that thing I just finished. And then you turn around and give yourself a high five.
Brea: Show me. Yes. I love it. Yeah. I love it. Just like that pop-up card that you got so many years ago with those animals high-fiving.
Lisa: Oh, I know. That's right. For people who have no idea what Brea's talking about, I love pop-up cards. It's ridiculous, but you open up a card and then, boom, it becomes 3D. I just think that is
Brea: party all of a sudden. Yeah.
Lisa: Yes. And then to make the party even greater, there was this thank you card series I gave them to clients. They probably thought I was such a dork, but I didn't. I just thought they were so much fun. They were different animals in each card. And when they popped up and became 3D, they gave each other high fives.
Brea: That is so freaking cool. I know. Thank you for including everyone in the story. I was just going to make them go listen to every single episode to figure out what the heck we were talking about, you know, just to boost the, boost the engagement, you know, the algorithm.
Lisa: You only have 11 years, 11 years worth to go listen to.
Brea: Oh my gosh. Yes. I love that. I love that.
Lisa: All right, well, everyone listening, let us know what you do to be a good boss to yourself. Come out, tell us on social, we'll post about this episode on LinkedIn, so find it there, or Lisa at Lead Through Strengths, and tell us where you want them to hit you at brearoper.com.
Brea: Yeah, we've got the, the podcast listener community is up and rolling. We're meeting every other week in between episode drops. So if you want to sign up for that list, so you don't miss your opportunity to gather and share with the rest of your listener buddies. Um, that's on my website, brayroper.com slash lead through strengths.
Lisa: Boom. All right. Well, Bree, go off and be a good boss to yourself today.
Brea: Hey, let's all go be good boss to ourselves. I love it. Thanks, Lisa. I'll see you guys later.
Lisa: See you next time.
“Remember, hard work doesn’t have to feel hard. Aligned with your strengths, it actually feels easy, energizing, and fun!”
MEET YOUR CO-HOSTS
BREA ROPER
Communication | Woo | Activator | Futuristic | Connectedness
If you need a Strengths Hype Girl, for yourself or your team, connect with Brea at brearoper.com. She’s ready to deliver an inspirational keynote, empowering training, or transformational workshop. If you’re looking for an expert guide to support your internal Strengths efforts, reach out today!
LISA CUMMINGS
Strategic | Maximizer | Positivity | Individualization | Woo
To work with Lisa, check out her resources for independent coaches, trainers, and speakers. Get business tools and strategy support with her Tools for Coaches membership.
The Fine Print: This podcast is not sanctioned or endorsed by Gallup in any way. Opinions, views and interpretations of CliftonStrengths© are solely the beliefs of Lisa Cummings and Brea Roper.