If you're curious about coaching or looking to make a positive change in your life, this episode is for you!
Gallup says that over 80% of people who discover their CliftonStrengths do NOTHING after taking the assessment. What a shame. We know awareness of our strengths is necessary for growth, but awareness alone doesn’t create change. You must put the knowledge into practice.
Coaching has (and continues to have) a powerful impact on our lives. That's why, in this episode, we discuss the 'next step' of working with a coach. Listen in as we share some of our personal experiences working with a coach, practical tips on how to engage with a coach, and even how to improve your own self-coaching.
So, if you're feeling stuck or curious about exploring your strengths further, don't hesitate to engage with a coach or seek feedback from those around you. Remember, awareness from assessments is just the beginning. Coaching will help you apply your strengths for more ease, energy, and excellence every day.
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External Feedback is Powerful: Having a coach can provide you with an external perspective on your strengths and potential blind spots. This perspective is unattainable on our own. Just like how we can't see our own face without a mirror, sometimes we need someone else to reflect back to us what we may not see in ourselves. A coach can help you uncover hidden talents and opportunities for growth you may have overlooked.
Self-Reflection and Awareness: Self-reflection and self-awareness is fundamental in the coaching process. Taking the time to pause, reflect, and ask yourself meaningful questions can lead to profound discoveries about your true potential and aspirations.
Invest in Yourself: Of course, awareness by itself isn’t enough. Whether you reach out to a professional coach or engage in self-coaching practices, making this investment is a valuable and powerful step towards transformation and growth.
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Engage with a Coach: Take the initiative to reach out to a coach, like Lisa or Brea.
Share Your Strengths: Dust off your CliftonStrengths report. Reread it to remind yourself of the goodness inside of you. Share your report with someone close to you and ask them to reflect on how they see your strengths showing up in your life. This external mirror can offer valuable insights and perspectives that may help you better understand your unique talents and behaviors.
Create White Space for Reflection: Make a conscious effort to create white space in your daily routine for self-reflection and self-coaching. Avoid overfilling every moment with distractions and allow yourself the time and space to ponder on questions about your goals, aspirations, and areas for growth. By giving your mind the opportunity to wander and explore, you can tap into deeper insights and clarity about your path forward.
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Hi, I'm Lisa.
And I'm Brea.
And today's topic is getting coached.
And more specifically, we're going to start with our first times getting coached and getting experienced with coaching and what this world even is. Brea, tell us about your opinion on this. The first time getting coached, first time doing a, an assessment like CliftonStrengths.
Where do we go wrong? Where do we go? Let's dive into this one. Let's dive in. Oh man, my mind is spinning because for 15 years thought that “doing strengths” was taking the assessment. I've got my top five and I know my strengths. I took the assessment for the first time in 2001, 15 years later is when I talked to somebody about it for the first time.
When I brought in a coach and that's where the transformation happened for me. So, yeah, I love this. Same. I waited a long time. I didn't know what a coach was. I was no idea. I knew what it was for sports. I knew every athlete needed a coach. I definitely saw the power of coaching.
Someone observing your performance and talking to you about things you couldn't see for yourself. I had no idea in terms of our mindsets or business. There are so many types of coaches you could have. I didn't know it was a thing. In fact, the only perception I had of it was around performance issues in corporate.
A lot of times people will talk about performance coaching when someone's on a performance improvement plan and they have issues. I actually had a little bit of a negative connotation when someone offered me coach in my first manager job. I was like, Oh, that's. Does that mean I'm getting noted for doing something wrong?
And then luckily that's not what it was for. And also that coach really changed the way I was able to see myself. I absolutely agree with you. And I think that idea of having another human who can help you observe your brain in a way that you can't, can absolutely transform the way you operate in the world.
And so many people don't know. That this thing even exists. They don't even know what a coach is. Oh my gosh. This is exactly what happened. I remember it so clearly in 2015, I had just moved from Kansas City to Dallas for a new job. And the president of this marketing company was bringing me in to essentially exit the company.
He was looking to retire. A couple months into the job I bump into him in the hallway. He's usually out of town because I'm there now to run the day to day, but we bump into each other and I was just like, Hey, how am I doing? And he was like, Oh my gosh, it's so great. I feel so good. Being able to travel and knowing that Brea's got it taken care of down in Dallas.
And I was like, oh, that's so great to hear. Thank you so much. He said, yeah, we should probably even talk about giving you equity in the company. And I was like, okay, I guess I'm doing pretty good, right? A couple days later, we have our scheduled weekly meeting where we just sit down and touch base and it's just He walked into the room and he fired me on the spot.
No explanation. No, obviously no warning. It was very different than two days before, offering me equity in the company. I went home and I was just in tears and I was on the floor because I didn't even have furniture yet. It was still on order. It hadn't even arrived. So I'm in this puddle of tears on my apartment floor.
And I just, I'm like, Oh my gosh, like what? What is happening? It has to be my fault, right? So that's what comes into my mind is what is wrong with me? And I had taken strengths before of course I didn't know where my assessment results were because you know Just like everybody else I put it in a drawer or trash can or whatever But it came into my head and so I get on the computer and I googled is strengths coaching a thing Wow honest Honestly, Lisa, just like you, I had no concept of professional coaching.
I really have no idea where that question came from, but I Googled it and I found it. Hand to God, this LinkedIn article came up, the top 10 strengths coaches in America, which I've Googled is strengths coaching a thing several times since this experience. And every time it's strengths, like weightlifting, right?
Yeah. So even the fact that I got what I was looking for, I think it's just a miracle. So of course I read the article, listen to this, Lisa. The number one strengths coach in America lived 15 minutes away from me. Oh, I went to her LinkedIn profile. This is how I know this. We had mutual friends on LinkedIn.
She went to my church and. Her LinkedIn profile said that she was looking for pro bono coaching opportunities. And I was like I just lost my job. Pick me, this couldn't be a better timing. Yes. I have no idea what coaching is. I have no idea what I'm asking for, but my connectedness is like, ding ding ding.
Like obviously I'm supposed to be a strengths coach, but I've, I have no idea that there was anything beyond the assessment. So that was a very long-winded response to, yeah, I get that coaching. What's coaching? Whoa. Now I want to hear what you thought of. So you obviously had to have engaged this person as your coach, right?
I did. Yes. Then what did you then think coaching was? I didn't even know that I was asking for coaching or receiving coaching. Like I, I didn't even have that awareness, but I just knew that this feeling that I had retaking the assessment and seeing, rereading my strengths on the paper, it took me right back to my first experience in 2001 of I'm good.
I just knew that I was supposed to be a strengths coach, but I had no idea what that was. So I thought I was asking her for an informational interview. How do you get clients? How do you make money? Do you make money? She invited me over to her home.
She sat me down on the couch, poured me a glass of wine and five minutes into our conversation. She was like, Brea, have you ever been coached? Because it's apparent that I have no clue what the heck is going on. So she said why don't we start there? So I didn't even know that I. needed a coach or that, talking to someone isn't the same thing as an intentional coaching conversation.
Because when she said, let's start there, we literally picked up our wine and we moved from the comfy couches back to the back of the house where her dining room table was. She pulled out her computer, she opened it up and we had a very different conversation. The energy shifted. Like I could tell, like we're doing something right now.
She knew how they were getting in the way. And how they were controlling me instead of me being able to lead from my strengths. They were leading me, but not in a good way. And she recognized what I could contribute and what I wanted to do. She recognized that I love to start things and I love to come in early and get people moving and get people excited.
What I remember most from that experience was one question. that she asked me. Tell us, what's the question? Yeah. So she said, what if that's your job to come in and start things? And I was like, what? You can do that? But that's the fun part. That's the easy part.
My job is always to take it across the finish line - to do the hard work, to move it forward. That's what it had been in the past. That's what it had been. Yes. Who has a job where they don't actually have to do the whole job? We do. It was just, it was amazing because. How this translates to everyone listening is what if fill in the blank with the thing that you love to do the most, right?
Fill in the thing that you would do for free, all day, every day, fill in the blank with the thing that just energizes you, that you find so much excellence in and enjoyment in. What if that was your job? Yeah. And that sets up coaching so perfectly because that problem we set up about how you can't observe your own brain.
You can't see those connections she was making. And then in the solution of all of this, she's helping you remember. What you already know, if you just listen to your innate wisdom, if you just get closer to who you are, if you remember your awesomeness, this is, in my opinion, what coaches do that is so powerful.
They help you observe what you can't see, and then they help you remember for yourself where you're headed, where you want to go, how you can align. You have so much power and potential in you that we just forget about. And they help you see it, but they help you come to it on your own. If they're incredible, like those questions, there was something that just clicked, and you're right.
Coaches can help us see things that we don't see in ourselves. But most of the time, the reason we don't see them is because they are just so close to us that it's just so natural for you, to act in this way or to think this way that. We can't see it. We will never see our own face…ever. The thing that is closest to us, the very part of our body that sees, we will never see it.
We will only ever see a reflection of it in a mirror or an image of it, in a photo. Or we can. Maybe have someone else reflect to us what they see on our face, like a booger or, a piece of spinach in your teeth. But we depend on something external to reflect, to give us feedback because it's so close to us that we will never see it.
And I think that is True. Also with our behaviors and like you said, our brain and all those things. Yeah. And then a coach, because they have another brain, they reflect something to you that you already know if you had paused or if you really stopped to observe yourself, maybe you could pick up some of these things, but you get it from a different perspective.
They asked the question in a way you wouldn't have asked it of yourself. They process it in a way they wouldn't have processed it. I remember when I had my first coaching experience, it was for this manager program. They assigned one to all of us. And I remember her saying, “Lisa, you can get your messages with a feather or a hammer…”
“…And it seeming to me like you're choosing the hammer repeatedly.” And that's really stuck with me because it was about the same timeline, probably as yours. It's been a long time, but I remember those words because they struck me like a hammer. But they struck me because it's true. I was having this tendency to discard anything that felt like intuition, anything that felt like a gut feeling I would be like, Nope, that needs to be validated by logic.
So I'd go through my logic process and make sure it felt good. Or I would work harder and harder and harder because I think there's some, something about the value of hard work because it felt hard. I thought that was more valuable. I would keep like brute forcing my way through things.
She was talking about these feathers where she's the signs are there. The message is there if you'll tune in and listen to it. But when you start to get those messages, you shut them off and decidedly say, no, I'm gonna run it through this other process over here to make sure it's right.
It's still something that I'm working on, letting in, and now I get my messages with something in between. I'm not now waiting for the hammer to take me down, but she's if you'll listen to the lighter voices, if you'll listen to the feathers, they'll guide you in the right way.
Now those aren't words I would ever use. At the time that just felt so woo to me, the way she presented it, but she could ask these questions of me. About a time when I did listen, about a time when I did live a life aligned. With the way I imagined it. I remember her taking me through visualizations of a perfect morning and things like that, where I was like, wow, no one's ever asked me questions like this, and they felt so out of sorts for me, but also intriguing, but also not real life.
It was just like, she's taking me through imaginary land, but I'm totally going to go there and imagine it. Yeah. At the same time. A handful of years before I used visualizations for sports all the time. And just because it was in another environment, I thought that's what you do, coaches do that sort of thing, or that's what I do to prepare myself to visualize how I want this game to go, but why not the game of life?
I didn't. No, that was a thing. And I had to have a person take me through the experience before I ever knew what it would be like to coach someone else. You have to get coached and you have to experience someone else observing your brain and asking you the questions so you can remember your own awesomeness.
Isn't that so true? And it's so funny how with things like sports, things like art, music. We don't call them coaches, but you get a music teacher. Maybe there are so many places in our lives where coaching or having that external feedback is applauded, sought after it's necessary even for growth, and when it comes to talent.
It really breaks my heart to know so many people who over the years have told me, gosh, Brea you're so lucky that you have such great musical talent. I'm not talented. I'm just Joe Schmoe over here. For us to limit talent to athleticism or music or art.
It's just so sad to me because everyone has talent and everyone will improve. There's exponential growth opportunity when we lean into that, when we invest in it. And coaching is one of the best ways to do that, to get that outside perspective. I just, I love it. It's there for everyone.
Yeah. Accessible for everyone. I like how you proved that out with the pro bono experience that you had. So let's say if we ended with a favorite thing that could be a resource, a technique. Let's say someone's in the position you were in when you got fired, you're in the puddle on the floor, and you're like, thanks, I'm listening to this episode and I need a coach.
And how am I going to get a coach? Or What am I gonna do with this info when I don't have the money to invest with one? What is something that would be. place. What's one of your favorite things?
Yeah. My favorite thing is engaging with a coach and you never know until you ask. Reach out. There are coaches, there are so many different places and opportunities for you to connect with coaches.
Don't be afraid to ask. But I think even before that, just talk to somebody about. If you can pull that out and just have a conversation with anyone, share it with your partner, share it with someone who knows you well and just say, Hey, do you see these things in me? Especially if there are things in your report that don't really resonate with you, either you read the words on the report and you're like, Ooh, that's not a strength.
Or maybe there's something on there where you're like, I just, I don't know that's me. I don't really see that in myself. Give it to someone who knows you well and who sees you regularly, show up in your life and ask them, let them be that mirror back to you and say, yeah.
I see this in you all the time. And let me tell you exactly when, I saw it last, allow them to be that mirror, even if they're not a trained coach, that feedback is still so powerful. That's a great one. It doesn't cost you any extra money. You already have the report and…bonus…they get to read all these nice things about you and then tell you about times when they show up. That's perfect!
Bonus. Love a bonus. Love a bonus. I'm going to play off of your mirror theme because you were talking about how that self-awareness the most you're going to see is your own reflection. And something I see, especially with our corporate clients, but just anyone who lives that very busy life where you're always trying to cram in more and more.
It's such a thing. To fill every crack, every moment that you can with something else. So if you're that person who does maybe right now you're listening to a podcast while you're out for a walk, while you're doing the dishes, while you're doing other things, I would actually say one technique that's worked very well for me for self-coaching is to require myself.
To not fill those cracks with extra things, because if your mind never has the white space to consider, and you're just thinking on some of these things you want to think on, like when you asked yourself, is coaching a thing? And then you decided I want to change my career. What would it look like to change my career?
Now, if you had just filled your ears, As many people do, fill your ears with learning. I'm going to take a class while I'm on a walk. I'm going to get all the information I can. The information isn’t as rich as if you would just sit with that thought and allow yourself to actually consider it on the walk while you're in nature.
Asking. What would life be like? What could it be if I made it up? You are asking questions of the coach. Do people make money at this? What would the revenue streams look like? What would be fun for me? How could I add value to other people's lives? And just all those kinds of the way that your mind will wander with questions and thoughts and dreams - when you give it space.
So my technique is to get yourself a stop doing list. Stop over filling every crack and crevice of every minute so that you can have that thoughtful, reflective time to do some of this self-coaching, self-reflection, and, self-understanding stuff that doesn't happen when you fill it up with constant learning or constant business, busyness.
I love that. I love that so much. Okay. Now, if a listener is okay, this coaching thing, I'm going to finally try it. I want to work with you, Brea, tell them, how do they work with you? Yeah, go to my website, BreaRoper. com, B R E A R O P E R. com, and schedule a quick little call. There's no pressure.
It's no cost. If I'm a good fit, great. And if not, I know a lot of other great coaches that I can refer you to. Beautiful. And if you want to work with me, I'm Lisa, and I'm out at lead through strengths. com. And in the main menu, there's a link called get coached. And I actually work different from decent amount of other coaches in that I'll do just one off sessions.
If you are not ready to invest in a big package, you can just drop by, drop in, grab one coaching session whenever you Need one. That's such a gift. Yeah. There is so much power in coaching over time, but not everyone can do that, and not everyone needs that in every situation. So if you're in a situation where you just need to talk to somebody to get unstuck, right now, what a great offering.
Yeah. Thank you. What would your action item be for someone as we leave them today? Yeah. Engage with a coach, however, that makes sense for you, whether it's, reaching out to Lisa, reaching out to me, do something for yourself, invest just a little bit more beyond the assessment because the assessment, it's just the beginning, right?
The awareness does you no good if you don't act on it. And. And I promise you that there is more in the assessment results than what you can see yourself. A trained and experienced knowledgeable coach will be able to deepen that awareness and help you take the next step on your journey.
So reach out to a coach. Yeah. Yeah. Reach out to a coach. The theme of the episode is getting coached. So go get coached at a minimum, do yourself. And. Then do what Bree was talking about, where you grab the assessment results and you show it to somebody else. What a great way to get coached, or at least get some vibes of coaching out of something that you might just have sitting around in a file folder somewhere, and you've forgotten about it.
And even if you read it in detail a year ago or three years ago. You're going to pull something out of it. That sounds totally different in the context of what's in your life today. So yeah, with that, go get a coach.
All right. See you all next week. Bye for now.
“Hard work doesn’t have to feel hard. Aligned with your strengths, it actually feels easy, energizing, and fun! ”
MEET YOUR CO-HOSTS
BREA ROPER
Communication | Woo | Activator | Futuristic | Connectedness
If you need a Strengths Hype Girl, for yourself or your team, connect with Brea at brearoper.com. She’s ready to deliver an inspirational keynote, empowering training, or transformational workshop. If you’re looking for an expert guide to support your internal Strengths efforts, reach out today!
LISA CUMMINGS
Strategic | Maximizer | Positivity | Individualization | Woo
To work with Lisa, check out team workshops and retreats at the Lead Through Strengths site. For 1:1 strengths or life coaching, check out the Get Coached link. For independent coaches, trainers, and speakers, get business tools support with our Tools for Coaches membership.
The Fine Print: This podcast is not sanctioned or endorsed by Gallup in any way. Opinions, views and interpretations of CliftonStrengths© are solely the beliefs of Lisa Cummings and Brea Roper.