Ep. 160 - Nature vs Nurture

We hear it all 👏🏻 the 👏🏽time 👏🏿: “Are strengths nature or nurture?” 

In today's episode, we weigh in with their opinions on whether our strengths and talents are hardwired into our DNA or shaped by our environment and experiences. And, spoiler alert…we don’t always agree. 🫣 

Listen in as we explore how nature and nurture play a foundational role in who we are and how we develop. You’ll enjoy some fun metaphors and personal anecdotes about the impact of childhood experiences and how understanding our nature can help us navigate our environments more effectively. 

If you wonder about the interplay between your natural talents and the influences around you, this episode is for you. Thanks for allowing us to accompany you on your journey of self-discovery and growth, so you can lead through strengths!

🌟

    1. It’s nature AND nurture!: Are Strengths nature or nurture? We think it’s BOTH! Remember: Talent (nature) x Investment (nurture, environment, experience, knowledge, skills, practice, etc.) = Strength

    2. You can’t grow what you don’t know! Recognizing our natural tendencies and how we can nurture them positively, rather than imposing them on others, is imperative for growth. 

    3. Watch out for negative impact and blindspots.: Look to your natural patterns to understand why certain experiences have a negative impact on you. Also consider when your natural tendencies might be overstepping others’ boundaries.

    • Identify your talents. If you haven’t already, take the CliftonStrengths assessment to identify your natural opportunities for growth.

    • Recognize the impact of your environment. Acknowledge how your upbringing and surroundings have influenced you. Consider how the people, places, and things in your life today are nurturing (or hindering) your talent.

    • Learn how your CliftonStrengths can feel honored or insulted. Use these insights to nurture your strengths and manage what might negatively impact you.

  • Lisa:
    I'm Lisa. 

    Brea:

    I'm Brea.

    Lisa:

    And today's episode is all about nature versus nurture.

    Brea

    This is a really hot button for me. And a hot button, just meaning it's interesting, intriguing. Are strengths nature? Are they nurture? This is exciting. Do you want to start with your answer first?

    Lisa

    Okay. I think there isn't a clear answer. And I was very fascinated by this and still am. I think there's a part of us that is just DNA. And it doesn't matter if you drop me off in Antarctica when I was a toddler, I would have turned out in certain ways exactly the same. And I also think a lot of patterns in us come from nurture, come from our environment, our conditioning, the things we hear over and over again, or watch or see modeled in front of us, and they shape us in ways that we don't even realize. And I chased down the behavioral economists at Gallup a couple years in a row. So these are the smarty pants PhDs who create these instruments and just said, Hey, do we have a percentage? You know, can we know what bit comes from what part? And the way I net out their answer is we can't really measure that. And we can't really know. Although We all have our theories. So I thought it was kind of an unsatisfying answer and it probably was to them as well because we all just want an answer like 60% comes from our genetics and 30% comes from this thing and then 10% is this wild card that comes from over here. That would be cool if we could just know. That's where I landed. I think they're probably right that we've We really can't know and it's very difficult to measure. And I suspect, Brea Roper, that you disagree with me.

    Brea: 

    Well, here's the thing. I wonder if we just need to define our terms. Are we talking about strengths? Are we talking about talent? Are we talking about what shows up on people's CliftonStrengths report? Or are we not talking about CliftonStrengths at all? I'd love to really just clarify what are we talking about?

    Lisa

    Ooh, okay. So let's talk nature. What's nature to you?

    Brea

    Well, where my mind goes is talent. Is talent nature or nurture? And that's where I feel like it is a very clear answer from that perspective because, you know, Gallup teaches that talent times investment equals strength. And at least in my mind, that's a very clear parallel to nature, talent multiplied by nurture, investment equals strength.

    Lisa

    Uh-huh. Hmm. I feel like I just need to sit here in a deep pondering moment right now, because what you just said, that part's easy. I don't need to ponder that. I was thinking of it like nature equals DNA and nurture equals environment.

    Brea

    Yeah, same, same. So if we say that talent is nature, then yeah, it's baked into you. It's DNA. It's, you know, how you come out of the womb. Nurture is investment. It's the time, the practice, the knowledge, the skills that you learn, but it also is the environment that you grew up in, right? It's the family that you grew up in. It's the teachers that you've had. It's everything else outside of nature that nurtures your nature, either positively or negatively, right? What say you?

    Lisa

    Well, I just I think we're pretty close. If I replaced the word nurture with environment. It works for me so easily because of all those things you listed off, country you grew up in, all kinds of elements around you and what you, the actions you've taken toward your growth and that others have even taken toward or away from, especially in your younger, younger years where you weren't the one with agency over that sort of stuff. I think environment, if I replace the word nurture with environment, everything you said, I would be like, yep, we are totally in agreement. The word nurture, trying to associate it with negative doesn't make sense for me, just the word itself. I can play, I can do that for this episode and go, oh yeah, I think we're totally in agreement. I'm glad you did definition. But nurture is a good thing to me. So saying, that there's a negative nurture doesn't, my mind's like, bonk, that's not, that's not true. So I think we're in agreement. And I'm glad you did this because it is a definition thing. So we'll just do nature versus nurture. And then I'll just be like, and put my put my little asterisk on that, as we're talking. And for me, I'm talking environment.

    Brea

    Yeah. Well, I think of it like this, you know, I'm the queen of metaphors. So here we go. If you're born a super sleek, sexy sports car, but you really want to become an SUV, right? Like You're never, you're never going to become an SUV. Like you are a sports car. You can drive your sports car up into the mountains or go off-roading. You can do the things that the SUV might do, but your body is just not made for that. It's going to hurt your tires.

    Lisa: 

    You might just get stuck. I've seen one in Colorado last summer. It was high-centered off-roading in a hot hatch little car. It was made for being fast on a pavement and it was out on Cottonwood Pass. It's not where it should be. I don't know how it got to where it got, but it didn't get out.

    Brea: 

    Yeah. So why didn't they go rent or borrow or figure out how to get a different tool to do the same thing? And the opposite could be said for an SUV. You don't want to put that on a race car track and expect it to handle the curves and go at the speed that the race car is designed to do. I think that's where I see it as like, we all are built, nature, we're built a certain way. And you could use the metaphor of bodies as well. Some people have more of an athletic, strong, really muscular build. You've got a football body maybe, or you've got a ballerina body or like a long and lean you know, runner's body. Like, both have muscles, both have skeletons, but they're different. And both of the bodies can go into the gym, and they can both do leg day, and they're going to work out the exact same muscles, but just because the muscles are built differently, they're going to develop differently.

    Lisa: 

    Yes. Yes. This reminds me of When I was a kid, I was obsessed with organizing. And I still am. So I believe it's totally a nature thing. I don't care where I am, I'm going to be organizing things. I want my visual environment to be tidy. And I was the kid, literally single digit ages, probably six or seven, saying, Mom, I'm going to clean out the refrigerator again because it's too cluttered. Mom, I'm going to clean up the cabinets again and organize these bowls. And I had to do it. Even if it wasn't welcomed, I would feel compelled to do it. Totally the nature.

    Brea: 

    Yeah, that's talent. That is the most natural way for you to approach a situation. There's that natural desire. So I think if people take assessments like CliftonStrengths earlier in their life, before they've learned the way that they should behave or the way that other people want them to behave or whatever, then what the assessment really finds is your nature, your most natural patterns, not your learned behaviors.

    Lisa: 

    Right, right. Yes, I agree. Yeah, I won't fight you on that at all. And I think that it translates as you age, it translates into probably more practical uses. But also it can show up in my shadow side. I feel myself compelled to organize other people's things. Like if I'm around a person who isn't as tidy as I am, I want to straighten that thing up or put it in a proper spot because everything should have a home. And there are things like that where it may not be my business to be messing with somebody else's stuff in the house. Those kind of things. But it's driving me like, oh, Oh, that has to go where it lives. In my case, that would be blind spot. That would be overuse of, it would be not my place to mess with somebody else's stuff. And so that comes into the nurture element as well. Because it's like, in this case, there's nature. And it might feel like nature versus nurture, because it's like, Okay, you also have to train yourself that you can't impose your talents on everybody else. You have to know what is your responsibility and where somebody else needs to be able to have their life and their strengths as well.

    Brea

    Yeah, that's why having this language can be so helpful because if little Lisa doesn't have that self-awareness yet, and is punished, and I know you didn't say this happened, I'm just making it up for the sake of conversation. If someone punishes you or reacts in a negative way when you move things or deal with other people's stuff, then that will teach the little you that that's not the right thing to do or not the right way to behave, which is not true. It just is misplaced or misdirected in that moment, maybe. So if the adults can have the language and the awareness to say, okay, little Lisa, I see what we're trying to do here, and I love that you want to be organized. Now's not the right time, or we can't actually move other people's things, you know, so maybe you need to ask permission first. Right, right.

    Lisa: 

    And in my case, as a kid, they were like, wow, the refrigerator looks so amazing. We love when you do this. I'm like, get out of the trash can. That's amazing. Yeah, I'm organizing it again. Maybe this is why I overstep as an adult. I never had someone say, oh, you should ask first. Other people use that too. 

    Brea:

    Oh, that's funny. 

    Lisa:

    Okay. I heard of another example yesterday in a workshop of a childhood thing that made me think, oh, this is cool to hear the contrast. So there were two people who led through command and they met in an activity where they were matching up with somebody else who shared the same talent theme and they both grew up in a household full of brothers where they were the only girl in the sibling group. And they came up with the question, is this nature or nurture? Because we really think it's because of nurture because our environment was all the boys around. We had to be bold. We had to be convicted. We had to be the powerful version of ourselves if we were going to play with them. And it's what made us have command. And I was like, oh, this is so interesting because I also had an event where a lady grew up in a family full of brothers. And she said something about how she got to be protected. She got to be nurtured by these brothers who took care of her and looked over her and that it made her soft. And she was convinced this is why she had all the relationship themes. Yeah. Same scenario. And they were convinced totally that it was the nurture. But actually, I think that makes the case that this is nature. They probably would have become who they were going to become either way.

    Brea: 

    Yeah. I mean, as the oldest of eight kids, I can speak from experience, you know, that like growing up with the same parents in the same house with the same siblings, we are not all the same, you know, we do not all act in the same way. So for sure, that's, that's where I feel very, very strongly that we all come out with a certain nature baked into us and the same nurture. the same nurture ring will have a different effect on each individual receiving it because the nature is different. Yeah. Our nature is nurtured. Yeah.

    Lisa: 

    I love it. Instead of the phrase nature versus nurture, that's such a cool way to say it. Our nature is nurtured.

    Brea: 

    Yeah, it's super interesting. And another area that I talk about this is with trauma. A lot of people are really, you know, trying to become more trauma-informed and on their own healing journeys. Why are some negative experiences that we have in our life, why do they affect me in a certain way and they don't affect you in the same way? You know, even if we experience the same negative experience, right? And it's because our talents have different needs. And if I need something that you don't need and the nurture that we're a part of doesn't provide that, if you don't need it, that's not traumatic for you. It doesn't hurt you in any way because you don't need it. So the fact that it's not there is fine. But if I have a really strong need for that because of my talents and it's not there, then that does affect me in a negative way. So it's all very, very interesting.

    Lisa: 

    Endlessly. Endlessly so. So if somebody wanted to talk through this sort of stuff with you, what they need, what they bring, what their talents are at the nature level, how they might nurture them more with your help, how would they work with you, Brea?

    Brea: 

    Come on over to my website: brearoper.com. You can schedule a quick call and I’d love to hear more about you, what you’re looking for, and talk about how we might be able to work together. How about you, Lisa?

    Lisa: 

    I am, for this episode, I'm just going to give people a resource on the Lead Through Strengths website. If you go to leadthroughstrengths.com slash honored, or leadthroughstrengths.com slash insulted, you'll see a list based on your talent themes, some things that might hit you at a values level. And I think, although you can get pretty close to this idea of what is innate in you, I think our talents sit on this system of values. And these pages bring it together where they get to explore some things that might make their talents feel totally honored, totally nurtured. And then the insulted page might be the non-nurture representation, where it hits them at a hot button level. And the episode was intriguing and people are listening wondering, what about me and what about my talents and how does it actually show up for my specific talent themes? I think those would be a couple of good pages to check out and run against your top talents.

    Brea

    Yes, I've seen those pages and for sure the insults just like, oh, it hits me. I'm like, yes, I do not like the way that that feels. So yeah, it's a great resource. I'll make sure that goes in the show notes as well. Yeah.

    Lisa: 

    Excellent. In your excellent show notes.

    Brea: 

    Okay. Bring us home, Lisa. Bring us home. Wrap it up.

    Lisa: 

    Let's see. I mean, I come back to this concept of becoming more of who you already are and getting really comfortable in that concept. We spend so much of our lives trying to direct and control and If we spend a little bit more time focused on finding who we are at our natural best, I think a lot of that other stuff gets released. The pressure that you might feel to want to control and direct things really just starts to let go.

    Brea: 

    Grow the good, people. Grow the good.

    Lisa: 

    Grow the good. Another fine alliteration to end on. Nature versus nurture, grow the good.

    Brea: 

    Love it.

Remember, hard work doesn’t have to feel hard. Aligned with your strengths, it actually feels easy, energizing, and fun!
— Love, Brea

MEET YOUR CO-HOSTS

BREA ROPER
Communication | Woo | Activator | Futuristic | Connectedness

If you need a Strengths Hype Girl, for yourself or your team, connect with Brea at brearoper.com. She’s ready to deliver an inspirational keynote, empowering training, or transformational workshop. If you’re looking for an expert guide to support your internal Strengths efforts, reach out today! 

LISA CUMMINGS
Strategic | Maximizer | Positivity | Individualization | Woo

To work with Lisa, check out team workshops and retreats at the Lead Through Strengths site. For 1:1 strengths or life coaching, check out the Get Coached link. For independent coaches, trainers, and speakers, get business tools support with our Tools for Coaches membership.


The Fine Print: This podcast is not sanctioned or endorsed by Gallup in any way. Opinions, views and interpretations of CliftonStrengths© are solely the beliefs of Lisa Cummings and Brea Roper.

Ep. 159 - Can You Become Anything You Want?

Throughout our lives, many of us have been told we could become anything we want. Unfortunately, without understanding our natural talents and motivations, this belief can set us up to pursue goals that may not align with our true selves and capabilities.

That’s why we look to our talents: to understand our true desires, and align our aspirations with our strengths.

By embracing the strength-based mindset of becoming more of who you already are, you can achieve meaningful growth that aligns with your most authentic self. This approach fosters a healthier relationship with your aspirations, reduces pressure, and ultimately leads to greater happiness and success. 🌟


🎧 Be sure to listen to the full episode for more insights and to reflect on your own journey of becoming. Remember, it's not about becoming someone else; it's about embracing and enhancing the incredible person you already are!

    1. The Power of "Why": Understanding the true motivation behind your aspirations is crucial. Are you going after things because you’ve been told you should, or because they’re actually best for you?

    2. Neuroplasticity and Change: While our brains are capable of change, it’s likely not in your best interest to invest time and resources into trying to become someone you're not. Instead, focus on becoming more of the incredible person you already are. Grow the good!

    3. Coaching for Self-Discovery: Coaching is invaluable when trying to navigate your self-discovery and growth. Finding someone to guide you through this process can lead to greater clarity and fulfillment.

  • ●      Reflect on Your Aspirations: Take time to explore why you want to achieve certain goals or become a certain type of person. Ask yourself where those desires come from, and whether or not they align with your true self.

    ●      Focus on Strengths: Instead of trying to become something you are not, identify your existing strengths and how you can leverage them to achieve your goals. Consider how you can use your natural abilities to reach desired outcomes.

    ●      Seek Support: Find a coach, mentor, or trusted friend who can help you navigate your aspirations. They can ask you the tough questions that lead to deeper self-discovery and help you stay accountable to your true goals.

    ●      Embrace Self-Love and Growth: Acknowledge and appreciate who you are while also striving for personal growth. Commit to loving yourself enough to seek improvement and development in areas that matter to you.

  • Lisa:

    Hi, I'm Lisa.

     

    Brea:

    And I'm Brea.

     

    Lisa:

    And today's topic is around the question, can you become anything you want?

     

    Brea:

    I say no.

     

    Lisa:

    Hmm. That is decisive. Decisive. Tell us.

     

    Brea:

    I mean, sometimes I want to be Michael Jordan. No, I'll never be him. Sometimes I want to be a penguin because penguins are awesome. No, never going to be a penguin. Doesn't matter how much I want it, how much I believe it, how much I try hard, believe hard. Doesn't matter. I'm never going to be that.

     

    Lisa:

    Okay, now I have some of these too, like, hey, I wanted to be a pro beach volleyball player, but I'm 5'5 and I don't jump that high and me trying to become that may help me grow, but I'm still not going to become that. But what about something that you want to be more of? Let me give you two examples I hear often. I want to be better at time management or I want to be a person who works out every day. Now, can you be that if you want to?

     

    Brea:

    Yeah, I think the word be might be where my hesitation is. Can I show up on time? Absolutely, right? Can I change my behavior? Can I work toward a different outcome, right? If I don't naturally or often show up on time, but I want to do that, can I do that? Sure. Can I be a person who naturally always with grace and ease and excellence show up on time? No, I just don't think that you can change who you are in that way.

     

    Lisa:

    What do you think? I like that you were able to find that it was the word be, like the being.

     

    Brea:

    Yes, I think it's Tom Rath that said this in Strings of Pride 2.0. You can't be anything you want to be, you can only become more of who you are. I believe that to the core of my being, you know?

     

    Lisa:

    This idea of becoming more of who you already are is what we hope our coaching is stepping someone through, that discovery of figuring that out.

     

    Brea:

    And that's where I think becoming anything you want or becoming anyone you want to be, it reminds me of, you know, people talk about like rewiring your brain. And I think for me, one question is, can you? which I think is what you're asking now and what we're kind of talking about. But to me, that doesn't even feel like the deepest question, I think. Should you? Sure, there's plasticity in our brains. Sure, we can change a habit, even a deep habit. I can choose to change what I think about something. Yes. I think that's so amazing. As humans, we can choose in a way that animals can't, non-living things can't choose in the way that we can. I think that's so cool that we can do that. And should I? Should I invest so much time and so much effort and so much resources into completely trying to change how I approach something? Is that the best use of my time and my money and my effort?

     

    Lisa:

    I love where you're taking this because I know the neuroscientists seem to disagree on these areas of plasticity anyway. So be like, yeah, neuroplasticity exists. How much is nature? How much is nurture? We can't really know. How much is it plastic? Yeah. How far can you take it? So if they don't have a clear, easy answer, why worry about the debate of can you? We know to some extent you can. But to what extent, if they all disagree with each other, wouldn't it be productive as a human to explore the other question you raised? Should you? And when I hear that question, I think about how then do you get closer to discovering who you really are and how do you get further away from the pressures of who you think you should be and how to even know that you think you should be someone because you might just unconsciously be internalizing these pressures and you don't even know it. So how do you handle that as far as coaching goes to help someone unravel these who you think you should be factors?

     

    Brea:

    Yeah. For me, it all comes back to what is the truth? Like, if you came and said, Brea, I want to be a pro beach volleyball player, you know, okay, what does that entail? Can you actually meet the requirements? Do you meet those requirements right now? You know, is there an actual height requirement to be a pro beach volleyball player? Or do you just think that you have to be taller than 5'5"? What's the actual truth? Or, I want to be a person who makes my bed. Well, why do you think that? Well, because all the gurus tell me that if I'm going to be a successful CEO, I have to make my bed every day. okay, let's explore that because it worked for them doesn't necessarily mean it will work for you or that you have to follow in that path. So that's where I would start is what is the truth, the truth of what you want and why you want it and also the truth of what is and then where do we go from there?

     

    Lisa:

    Yeah. What do you think about somebody who's in a corporate environment and they're like, Hey, I want to be a leader because that's the career path they know and they want to be a senior leader. They want to get promoted. What if you're this person who is saying my goal is to be a senior leader? But how do they even know if they want to be that because that's just the career path they know of and seems available and seems to be where the paycheck is compared with the idea of, hey, is this just because this is a pressure of who I think I should be because it's the only thing I know? So then how do you navigate that situation through this lens?

     

    Brea:

    I, yeah, again, I think that is what I mean by we start with the truth. You know, if they say, I want to be a senior leader. Okay, why? You know, what is it about that, that you want, right? Is it the title? Is it the paycheck? Is it the responsibilities, the quarter office? Is it the opportunity for impact? What is it? What about that? do you want? And why do you want it? And will it actually give you what you want? Because sometimes when we look at an opportunity, we think that there's potential there, or we think that it might be something other than what it actually turns out to be. Sometimes when people are in, let's say, a sales role, crushing it. They are constantly at the top of the leaderboard and they just are such a great salesperson. And so they're tapped for management. And they hate management. They get there, it's this promotion. But being an amazing salesperson and being an amazing manager of people are just completely different, right? One person is out on the road all the time, one person is at the desk all the time, you know? It's just different skills, different all the things.

     

    Lisa:

    You're making me think of that saying about when you're climbing up the ladder and then you realize it was leaning on the wrong wall and you're raising such good questions that they seem confronting. I think, I know I've been confronted with some of those questions. I know, I remember a senior VP asking me, why, why are you interested in this role? Really pushing me on the why and the why and the why behind the why. And I was like,

     

    Brea:

    It's not intended in an aggressive way. It's intended in an exploratory way, a discovery way.

     

    Lisa:

    Yeah. And this guy specifically, I remember thinking, I wonder if he just wants me to admit there's ego in it. That, yeah, I do like the title. Yeah, I do like the money. There were other elements I was describing in my why. internal motivators that made me feel alive. If you don't have someone in your life who will ask you those questions, whether a coach like Brea or like this senior VP, if no one asks you those questions and you don't confront those early, you might find you get promoted four steps along the way and then you realize, whoa, I created a life for myself that I am not into at all. How did I get here? What did I do?

     

    Brea:

    Yes, it's important to understand why you want that to see if taking the next step is what you should do. Also, there are times in our life when we're like, I just really want to be a pro beach volleyball player, or I really want to be Michael Jordan. I don't. really want to be Michael Jordan, okay? Like, what is it about that? Why am I attracted to the idea of being like Michael Jordan? Asking those questions and figuring out why does this aspirational identity, why is it attractive to me? Why do I want that? Can help us identify the deeper down things that we can actually attain or achieve or become, right? Because they are in alignment with who we are. Becoming a pro basketball player is not in alignment with who I actually am as a person, okay? I can never become a pro basketball player, nor do I really want to be. But there are aspects of Michael Jordan, who he is as a person, his intellect, his hard work ethic, his entrepreneurial journey, the impact that he's made. I mean, I could go on and on about him as a person. There are so many things that are in alignment with talent that is inside of me and things that I can aspire to imitating or striving for. And so I think that's That's where I'm at is we ask those questions of why. Why do you want that thing? Because it might not actually be that thing you want. It might be certain elements of that that are attractive to you that you can find in a different thing that will be better suited for you and that will actually allow you to grow beyond.

     

    Lisa:

    Yeah, absolutely. You're making me come full circle on our conversation and it brings it all together. What you were just talking about, it's the perfect tee up for strengths because inevitably somebody in a workshop or in a group or a team will say, I don't like this one or I wanted to see this other one because they like the word or it reflects a goal they've been working on. Usually that's another definitions issue. But if you're trying to accomplish something and you back into it from the outcomes level or the results level, this is where the useful conversation is anyway. So if somebody says, Oh, I really wanted Achiever. Oh, I really wanted Includer. If the next conversation is, tell me about what result you would want with that or tell me about the outcomes. What are you trying to achieve where that would come into play for you? And then they give you some examples and they're like, oh, well, I've been having trouble getting it done and hitting my deadlines on this global team with all these complexities and matrix reporting structures. And they give you this whole example. And then you just ask the question, and what if you use the ones you have, which ones could you lean on? And you get them down a conversation there, and they realize, I can achieve, I can get things done, I can hit my deadlines, and lean on the ones I already have, because those are the ones that are easy for me to lean on. And if you spent your whole life trying to grab your achiever that's down at number 20, you're spinning your wheels and kind of draining yourself. And you could get there, you could raise it up, but it wouldn't be a high leverage way to spend your time. And I feel really confident that we agree on that point. So it's more like backing into it from the result or the outcome. Am I right? Am I right? Do we agree?

     

    Brea:

    Well, of course we agree. Yes, this is a very strength-focused partnership here. And that's where I think my sticking point is, again, it's the difference between being and becoming or doing, right? Is this who I am, my identity as a person, or is this just what I do or how I do it? I don't identify as an entrepreneur or a business owner. That's not who I am. That's not my identity. That's how I make a living, you know? That is how I spend a lot of my time, but that is not who I am as a person. This is where this conversation really pokes the bear inside of me is because I grew up like a lot of people, I think, believing that their identity is what they do, what they can do, how they perform. That's where I get really passionate about this. That's where the mama bear comes out. And I'm like, no, being something or becoming something or believing you can become something that you're not is not true. I think believing that sets us up to fail. I'd love to hear from listeners.

     

    Lisa:

    Yeah, we would love to hear and come tell us in a review, come communicate, let us know. And BreaBear, if they are like, hey, this is blowing up my idea of parenting or this is blowing up my idea of my career goals. And they now feel compelled. They've got to work with you. How do they do it? Tell us about how to bring out the Bria bear. Yes.

     

    Brea:

    Brearoper.com. B-R-E-A-R-O-P-E-R.com. Just come on over, schedule a call, and let's talk about your outcomes that you want to achieve and how you can do that using the tools that you already have. Beautiful.

     

    Lisa:

    I highly recommend. Brea is an amazing coach. And if you want to work with me, Lisa, let's move. I think on mine, I'll talk about the entrepreneur one. If you're like, I am in corporate, I have a side hustle career with training and coaching, etc. And I just need to get my head around what it's like to do and or explore the being. Who do you want to be? How do you want to show up? How does all this work? I would love to support you in that. We have a membership for coaches where we support you with the skills and a lot of the doing things so you can spend your energy being who you already are naturally at your best. And I can cover you on the operations, the visuals, the decks, the tools and all the things you have to build in those first years when you're getting started. On the website, LeadThroughStrengths.com, check out the link, Tools for Coaches.

     

    Brea:

    Love that. And so many people are already finding so much success using those tools. Yeah, it's really fun.

     

    Lisa:

    Yeah. Yes. OK, well, with that, I guess we should leave people to to go off and find their moment. And so if you believe you can fly, we're here to tell you today. No, you can't. Sorry.

     

    Brea:

    Not a bird.

     

    Lisa:

    Not a bird. Go back to being what you are best.

     

    Brea:

    Oh, my gosh. Unless you think you are the Wright brothers, you know, and you want to go build a plane, then do that.

     

    Lisa:

    There you go.

     

    Brea:

    Love yourself as you are. You are amazing and good and beautiful and strong and smart just as you are. But love yourself too much to leave yourself there, right? Find yourself a coach. Find yourself a friend. Find yourself someone else to push you to become more of the amazing person that you already are.

     

    Lisa:

    The way you said that was so beautiful. Love yourself too much to leave yourself there. I love that.

     

    Brea:

    I promise to all my clients, I'm going to receive you just as you are. And I'm going to love you there. I'm going to believe in you there. But I'm going to love you too much to leave you there. So you can do that for yourself. You can find someone else who does that for you. I know people are listening.

     

    Lisa:

    You're worth it. Yeah, they're like making the heart sign with their hands while they're listening. We'll see y'all next time around.

     

    Brea:

    Bye!

Remember, hard work doesn’t have to feel hard. Aligned with your strengths, it actually feels easy, energizing, and fun!
— Love, Brea

MEET YOUR CO-HOSTS

BREA ROPER
Communication | Woo | Activator | Futuristic | Connectedness

If you need a Strengths Hype Girl, for yourself or your team, connect with Brea at brearoper.com. She’s ready to deliver an inspirational keynote, empowering training, or transformational workshop. If you’re looking for an expert guide to support your internal Strengths efforts, reach out today! 

LISA CUMMINGS
Strategic | Maximizer | Positivity | Individualization | Woo

To work with Lisa, check out team workshops and retreats at the Lead Through Strengths site. For 1:1 strengths or life coaching, check out the Get Coached link. For independent coaches, trainers, and speakers, get business tools support with our Tools for Coaches membership.


The Fine Print: This podcast is not sanctioned or endorsed by Gallup in any way. Opinions, views and interpretations of CliftonStrengths© are solely the beliefs of Lisa Cummings and Brea Roper.

Ep. 158 - Believe In Yourself

From time to time, everyone struggles to believe in themselves. Especially when faced with challenges and changes in their lives. Too often, this doubt can lead to feelings of inadequacy, and hold us back from the growth we desire.

That’s why we look to our talents: to identify and question limiting beliefs, so we can shift our mindset to take actionable steps toward our goals, no matter how unattainable they may seem.

As always, this episode is packed with insights and practical tips to help you believe in yourself and take those next steps on your journey of development and growth. 🌟

    1. Beliefs are not fixed. We often label ourselves based on our past behaviors, like saying "I am a late person." But is that really true? It's essential to examine whether these beliefs are true or just perceptions based on specific circumstances. Always remember, you can change your mind.

    2. Bridge Thoughts: Change doesn’t happen overnight, and sometimes the leap to an aspirational identity feels daunting. Instead, consider "bridge thoughts" – small, manageable beliefs that can help you focus on the present moment and reinforce your commitment without overwhelming yourself.

      For example, if you're trying to live alcohol-free, instead of saying "I am alcohol-free," you might say, "I choose water today." This approach allows you to gradually shift your mindset and move toward being alcohol-free, one step at a time.

    3. Focus on the Positive: When making changes, it's helpful to concentrate on the positive motivations behind your choices. Reminding yourself why you want to change can anchor you during challenging moments.

    4. Self-Compassion is Key: Change is a journey, and it's normal to face obstacles along the way. Be kind to yourself during this process, and remember it's okay to lean on others for support as you work toward believing in yourself.

  • ●      Identify Your Beliefs: Reflect on the beliefs you hold about yourself, especially those that may be limiting. Are these beliefs true, or are they based on specific circumstances?

    ●      Create Bridge Thoughts: Find an actionable step that feels more attainable than a complete identity shift.

    ●      Practice Small Choices: Start making small, intentional choices that align with your desired identity. For example, instead of saying ‘I am alcohol free’, try ‘I choose water today’.

    ●      Focus on Your Strengths: Leverage your unique talents to support your goals. Consider how your strengths can help you navigate challenges, reinforce your new beliefs about yourself, and make choices that support the aspirational you.

    ●      Seek Support: If you're struggling to believe in yourself, consider working with a coach who can help you see your strengths and encourage you to take the next steps.

  • Lisa:
    Hi, I'm Lisa.

     

    Brea:

    And I'm Brea..

     

    Lisa:

    And today's topic is believe in yourself.

     

    Brea:

    Ooh.

    Believe in yourself.

    Believe in yourself.

    Tell me more.

     

    Lisa:

    What does that mean? Oh, this has been a conversation I've been on recently with clients about how to believe in yourself, how to believe in possibilities when they don't feel attainable, how to believe that change can happen in your life when you haven't been feeling accountable or able to make a change despite Maybe taking some actions but not getting the results. So all of those things that surround belief.

     

    Brea:

    Love it. Great. This sounds like a really interesting conversation. Where should we start?

     

    Lisa:

    Well, I know we have all kinds of strengths angles we can take as well. What if we start with an example? This person has been a chronically late person. I know we're calling back to your Woo-monk who couldn't show up, right?

     

    But this person is having trouble showing up to meetings on time. And it was never a problem because I'm just going to make this person a he. He never had trouble with it before because he worked in a work culture where it didn't matter. They always started meetings five minutes, ten minutes late. No one cared. Goes to a new job and is chronically late and it is not going over well.

     

    Trying to identify with this thing this concept. I show up on time was Really making his mind explode. He's like I'm always late. I am an idol. I'm a hot mess I I'm not structured like that and he really resisted being that person but he also was coming to to realize he needs to believe something different about himself and show up differently and get different results or it's not going to go well in the career

     

    Sometimes belief is “forced” and sometimes you want to believe in yourself because you want to believe you can continue to grow in a certain way but this one's feeling a little more Forced so to speak like oh, I better I better do this or else. I'm gonna have some trouble so Let's go there You're trying to believe in yourself, but you don't identify at all with this future you that you've established isn't it's important

     

    Where do you start with people Brea?

     

    Brea:

    Hmm Well, what it's making me think of is where do those beliefs come from? I think that's maybe where I would start is why do you believe what you believe? And is what you believe true? That's usually in coaching where I start is what is the truth here, right? And sometimes we look through the talents, you know, you know, I believe that I'm a late person because I am always late, you know, like, okay, so that And that's true, that I am always late.

     

     Or do I feel like it's always? Is it just at this job, people are commenting on it, and I hear it a lot, but is the reality that I'm always late? Or is it just I have this meeting once a week, every week, and every time people remark on it, so I'm hearing it a lot, and it feels like always. I have lots of other things in my life that I'm not late to, so is the belief true? That's, I think, where I would start.

     

    Lisa:

    And really getting down to dissecting it. I think for so many things, we consider it true, we think it's true, and then it's not. I love to get down to the facts with people. and it might be just really defining the circumstance. Like you said, that meeting.

     

     Is it this one meeting, and that's the one that we're talking about, and you're late 50% of the time, and is this something that everyone would agree is factually accurate? You're late 50% of the time. So you could go down that path, but you could also go down the one that you said, which is like, I'm a late person. Is that true? Or do you just decide to act like a late person?

     

    Brea:

    If even if it is true that you're consistently late to let's say that particular meeting, right, or a particular thing, you're always late to it. Is it because you are a late person, you know, where, or is it because there's something right before it that just always goes over and it's out of your control?

     

    Is there a reason that you're late? more often than not, you know, and can you do anything to change that? You know, is it who you are as a person, your identity, or is it just a circumstance, you know?

     

    Lisa:

    Yeah. And if it is a circumstance, what do you do to address the other one it's impacting if that's getting in the way of your results like yeah changing the one that is the thing that's happening before it if you identified that yeah there's this thing that runs over and that is what's going to happen okay if I have to deal with that circumstance how do I address that and continue to move on and then that part's pretty It's factual. It's simple. Most people skip over it.

     

    I think it's really important that whole idea of getting down to the real results. What is actual fact? What what seems like truth? What is truth? And then when you get to what result do you want that you're not getting? This is for me the crux of it.

     

    And I think people make things an identity problem like this one. I am a late person. You're making that you're taking it on like it's DNA that can't be changed. So maybe they can't go from I'm a late person to I show up on time. That feels too far. You need a bridge thought. So, okay, with this result you want to get, what are some thoughts you could have that feel like that person?

     

    Let's just embody the belief, “I am a person who shows up on time.” What other things are true about you when you are a person who shows up on time? and they come up with a list. It might be things like, when I start meetings, I start them on time. I value people. I respect other people's times. I create buffer spaces in between my meetings because maybe the thing that keeps getting them is something as simple as, I have to go to the bathroom in between and this meeting ends and the next one begins and there are zero minutes in between.

     

    It might just be a logistics problem. But really getting in the mindset of future you. If you're going to believe in yourself in the way that is like, I am this person, I show up on time. What actions do you take when you are a person who does show up on time? It's just a simple process, but you have to take the time to sit down and think through things.

     

    ·      How do I behave when I'm a person who shows up on time?

    ·      What do I do for myself?

    ·      What do I do for my calendar?

    ·      How do I interact with people?

    ·      What does it look like to begin to shut a meeting down five minutes early, 10 minutes early, whatever it might take?

    ·      What kind of experiments do you need to run in the meantime?

     

    Brea:

    Yeah, these are all so good. I think it is, it's really fascinating how we can, and we do often, I think, connect our identity, you know, who we are as a person to these types of things. It, that's not who you are. A late person or an on-time person is not your identity. But we have that self-talk all the time of, I am a blank or I'm not an on-time person, you know?

     

    So again, I think that's where the language of CliftonStrengths can be so helpful because If you lead with adaptability, instead of saying, I'm a late person, you might say, when I meet people as I'm walking to the next meeting, I'm the kind of person that wants to engage with them. I honor them. I respect them. I delight in them. I am curious about them.

     

    You know, whatever, whatever your talents bring, like. really settling into who you are instead of who you aren't and then figuring out how do I use that, how do I use the talents that I have to accomplish this outcome or this goal of showing up on time, right? That the outcome is difficult for me to do from a natural place. So how do I use who I am to help me get there, you know? Yes.

     

    Lisa:

    Yeah that's such a beautiful tie to strengths the idea of who you are that you love and appreciate versus who you aren't. Now I started with one that was a little it almost feels like a logistics problem to solve so it seems a little bit simple. Now let's get into one that's a little complicated and wrapped up in a little, a little juicier way in someone's life.

     

    So I was working with someone recently who is trying to live alcohol free. Okay, so now you're trying to identify with a phrase, I am alcohol free. You haven't had major problems. You're not an alcoholic. It hasn't gone to a rock bottom situation, but everything in your life feels intertwined in this. Every social situation, girlfriend mimosas, dinners, every time you go out anywhere, it feels like everything is centered around drinking.

     

    And now you're the person who doesn't drink, and all these people have expectations of you. Because they've been around you for the last 15 years with a drink in your hand

     

    Now you want to make a switch and you're like, okay, I see future me and I'm good with it I feel good in this body My body feels honored because I've been taking care of it and you can get into all these positive things about it But then you show up to your Sunday morning brunch that you've had for the last 15 years and people are like, “What's up with you…no fun zone?” Then what? How do you continue to believe in yourself and who you've decided you're going to be, who you're going to grow into?

     

    Brea:

    Yeah, I think it all comes back to focusing on the good. What is your motivation? Why have you decided that you're not going to drink alcohol? And let that lead you. Be confident in that, you know?

     

    Maybe for some people it might be helpful to not use the words, I am, but to say, I choose not to drink alcohol or to focus on the good or the positive and say, I choose to be alcohol free, right? I choose to only put healthy things in my body or I choose to, you know, whatever the case may be.

     

    Maybe for some people who struggle with the future aspect of the future me, the aspirational, bring it to the present and just say, what am I doing right now, right? What am I choosing today in this moment? And remind yourself why, why you're choosing that. Maybe that could anchor you.

     

    Lisa:

    I think that's good. That made me think if you combine the meeting person with the alcohol person, it made me think about those bridge thoughts where the person who couldn't get to meetings could really get to, I respect other people's time. That felt true. That felt easy. That felt like, okay, if I'm a person who respects other people's time, this is how I'll act.

     

    And that's an easier guidepost at this point in the journey. And for this alcohol free person, it might be when you said I choose I was imagining this person saying, I choose water today. And that's it. I choose water. And that can feel more true for them, more grabbable for them in the moment.

     

    Sometimes you can't leap all the way from one to the other without taking these backslides. And if you grab the bridge step, you can build the confidence. You can believe in yourself for the moment because you believe you can choose water the next time you have a choice.

     

    Brea:

    I really like that bridge step. I think image is so powerful because you don't just jump from one side of the bridge to the other. It is a journey, you know, it's a series of steps. And to go from one side of the Grand Canyon to the other, I mean, that's a big leap. It's impossible for anyone. So to go from being someone who has drank, drunk alcohol?

     

    What's the right word? I don't know. who has drunk alcohol, you know, especially in social situations, especially at this particular party that happens with these people. To go to the completely other side, yeah, that can feel so far and so unattainable.

     

    So, to just take it one step at a time, I mean, that's how we make change in life is one choice at a time. And it reminds me of the CliftonStrengths the talent of belief. I think for people that lead with that talent, this comes so naturally because they have that, just that inner knowing, that inner belief, that inner grounding is ingrained in them so much that every decision just naturally flows from that.

     

    Whereas other people, we have to maybe do some work to identify what those core principles are so that the decisions that we make, you know, aligned with that. We have to be more intentional about that.

     

    Lisa:

    Yeah, totally. I think I see this with people who lead through responsibility. I have an example where my dad believes that Hawaiian rolls are poison because they're full of sugar and he will not buy them for my sister and her family because why would I buy them poison? That is responsibility.

     

    Brea:

    Oh my gosh, that's so awesome. My dad loves Hawaiian rolls. Oh my gosh, love that.

     

    Lisa:

    I mean, it's like dessert. So, you also, do you have, I think you leaked your self-assurance. How does that one show up with believing in yourself?

     

    Brea:

    I always believe in myself. You know, I have the other problem of, yeah, believing too much sometimes. And I also have an internal belief that other people believe in me and that other people should believe in me. And that is something that as I've grown older and lived a little bit more life that I've realized not everyone believes in me the way that I believe in myself.

     

    I believe in myself so strongly and I believe in others really strongly. I mean, hi, I'm the hype girl, you know, the strength type. Like I love believing in people and cheering them on and holding their hand or giving them the tools and resources they need to like take the next step. Like that's, that really is not just what I do, that's who I am.

    To realize that other people don't believe in me as much as I believe in myself, they may not believe in themselves as much as I believe in them. And that's been something that I've learned, you know, through the years. So that has been a challenge from a different, a different perspective, you know,

     

    Lisa:

    And this makes so much sense. This is insider info for all the listeners. But when I first brought up this idea,

     

    Brea:

    Oh, no. What did I just divulge?

     

    Lisa:

    I mentioned the concept of believe in yourself? And you're like…mmmmm….you weren't feeling it. And this makes absolute sense.

     

    Because you're like, well, self assurance.

    I just believe in myself.

    I'm hype girl.

    I believe in everyone else.

    What seems to be the problem?

    What is there to talk about?

     

    Brea:

    Yeah, it's funny when you threw that out on Voxer. I was like, I just don't know that I have anything to add to that conversation. You know, like, I don't, I don't even know what I would say. And I guess I should never worry about that. I always have words to say.

     

    Lisa:

    Thankfully, communication is in your lineup as well. So it's not a problem.

     

    Brea:

    Yeah, it is interesting, though, how our talents, you know, really affect everything about us, how we approach everything comes back to what are the patterns that are naturally occurring in you? When we look at the definition of talent, Gallup defines that as patterns of thought, feeling, and behavior.

     

    So how you think, which is where these beliefs come from, is how I think about things, how I believe, what I believe, how tightly or strongly I hold those beliefs, everything around this topic. We could talk for hours about it because it's so deep and rich. It all comes back to your talent.

     

    Lisa:

    And probably depending on the thing you're trying to believe for yourself or about yourself or the future, it might create different issues with different talents. Like when you say, I choose water next time. What pops up for you as a, but what if this, Oh, and this person's going to say that, Oh, and then this is going to happen.

     

    What are those obstacles that come up? Because they'll give you insight into the things that are going to foil your plan. But also they, they show you your patterns because if we have 65,000 thoughts a day, we don't know what all of them are. There's a lot of unconscious stuff going on.

     

    If our strengths represent our thoughts, feelings, actions, these things that are just in us, this thought process about the obstacle, like, ooh, what pops up then? Ooh, where is the resistance? What is that resistance about? We can start to become a little more consciously aware of the thoughts that are in there that are going to get in the way of getting this new result.

     

    Brea:

    Oh my gosh. Yes, this is so, so true. And the alcohol example is really a good one, Lisa, because it's relatable, I think, to a lot of people. Here's how I might respond. If you've listened to the podcast or you know me at all, you know that I love wine. Okay. So if I were to go to a party and just say, I'm not going to drink alcohol, I'm choosing water, we would wonder, what are people going to think?

     

    And in my head I'm like, well, they could think I'm pregnant. They could think I'm, you know, they could think a million things. So if you want to make sure that they still like you and that you're still fun, maybe you drink a non-alcoholic Cocktail that looks like it could have alcohol in it and you just don't even talk about it, right?

     

    If it's the perception that you're worried about, then make a choice that upholds that perception that you want people to you know, have a view or whatever and and move on and it doesn't have to be a big deal You know, if it's a different talent, how can you give it what it needs or what it wants, you know, while still honoring this new choice?

     

    Lisa:

    I love that. I don't know what made command come to my head, but I was imagining all the strategies you just came up with for Wu. and then contrasting it with command. Now they might say, if someone asked me, who cares? And when they ask, I say, my relationship with wine is over. That's the whole story. And they lead through command and that's all they need to say. And they don't care what the other person thinks about it.

     

    They took a totally different tact. But it was honoring their strength, their pattern, what they needed to feel really solid in their decision and living into their future self, really doing that thing. Believe in yourself. Believe in your choice because you aligned it to your strengths and it felt good. It felt natural. It felt grounded.

     

    Brea:

    Yeah. And maybe you don't have an influencing talent at the top. Maybe you're leading with input or learner and you just read something about alcohol where you're like, this is the tipping point for me. I'm not going to do it anymore. Then lead with that. It doesn't have to be this big, like, I believe in myself or I don't believe in myself. It could just be, I just learned this thing about alcohol and I just decided I wanted to take a break, you know? Like, there you go.

     

    Lisa:

    You lead through Analytical and you're like, look, I've been watching my Oura ring and the stats and when I drink, It tanks my sleep for the next three days and I've been watching the data and I decided I'm not going to do that to myself any longer and you led through data. It could be any strength could give you information about the way to step into a belief.

     

    Brea:

    Yeah and the whole non-alcoholic cocktail option that looks like it could have alcohol in it, that might be your solution because of Other non influencing themes where you're like, I just want to hide in the background. I don't want anybody to like ask me about it So I'm just gonna drink something that doesn't bring attention. So I think that's the interesting thing about talents is Several different people can make the same choice can do the same thing for different reasons

     

    Lisa:

    I can see the person with you leading through it all the way where they're like, and I could become the non-alcoholic bartender at this party and I could be like, I'm into nootropics, y'all. I brought all these ingredients. Check out this new thing I've got going on. Who wants one? And then you make it the exciting thing to try because that's what sounded fun to Wu that day. That's right. That's right.

     

    Brea:

    Yeah. Yeah. The other thing that's coming up for me about this is the idea of change, especially in these epic proportions of changing how we perceive ourselves at an identity level, right? that chasm of the Grand Canyon inside of us of, how am I ever going to get to the other side? That feels very stressful.

     

    When we encounter stressful, challenging situations like this that require not just one big, oh, I'm going to muster up my courage and jump, And then, ta-da, I'm like this whole new person. But it's a series of tough choices, right, that will get easier over time. But we have to continue to do the hard thing time and time again. when we're in stressful, challenging situations, our talents are going to kind of default to the raw state, to the maybe not as healthy, not as helpful state.

     

    Keep that in mind as well. And I'm being a little bit vulnerable whenever I talk about my woo in this way because I'm actually not always worried about what people think about me. And in a moment where it's difficult, it's hard, it's new, or you have to make a decision quickly, or there's some kind of stress about it, our talents will often likely default into that place of before they became a strength, before we learned how to really be strong in that way.

     

    If that happens to you, give yourself a little bit of grace. It's okay, you'll get through it. And be intentional going through this thought process of, you know, how can I lean into my talent to help me get the outcome that I desire? I think you just made it. Make that bridge stop.

     

    Lisa:

    Yeah, you made it so relatable for listeners because You're talking about how to believe in yourself simultaneously while having self-assurance as a talent theme at the top that makes it easy for you to believe in yourself and woo that makes you care about what other people think enough that it might give some sway in there and it depends.

     

    That is a beautiful way to describe the dynamics that happen in our lives and our brains as humans we make things complex and we have a lot of layers to us and it all depends it all depends okay now back to hype girl if someone wants to work with you Brea the hype girl because they need someone else to believe in them. They need to borrow your belief while they think through their own. Tell them about working with you.

     

    Brea:

    Oh my gosh. Just the thought of being able to meet you, listener, when the negative self-talk gets in there or when your own beliefs in yourself are challenged, like that is not the truth. So if you want someone to speak truth and goodness and beauty over you and help you see what's awesome about you, that would be my privilege, my joy, my honor, truly. So come to the website, BreaRoper.com, and schedule a call. I will shower you with belief and give you all of my influencing talents so that you can take the very next step, no matter how hard it is.

     

    Lisa:

    I know it. You do it naturally. Even in our friend conversations, you shower with this belief and this positivity and it's such a cool part of you.

     

    Brea:

    Thanks, Lisa. You too. People should work with you. How can they do that?

     

    Lisa:

    If you want some coaching from me on how to believe in yourself, come over to leadthroughstrengths.com and go to the Get Coached link and That's all you have to do.

     

    Click on it, take action, and we will do it. We'll find the belief, we'll find the bridge thoughts, and we'll get you there. Love it. Okay, Brea, take us home. Between self-assurance and communication, I know you have a closing thought that will tidy all of this up.

     

    Brea:

    To me, it all comes back to the theme that we continue to talk about episode from episode is when you know better, you feel better. And when you feel better, you do better. So if your goal is to become a better version of yourself, the more you choose to believe in yourself, the stronger you'll feel in that new you, and it'll be easier to live out that reality. So you can do it. Start with your talents. Lead from strength.

     

    Lisa:

    Lead through your strengths.

     

    Brea:

    I love it.

     

    Lisa:

    Thank you, Brea.

     

    Brea:

    Thank you, listeners. Thanks, Lisa.

Remember, hard work doesn’t have to feel hard. Aligned with your strengths, it actually feels easy, energizing, and fun!
— Love, Brea

MEET YOUR CO-HOSTS

BREA ROPER
Communication | Woo | Activator | Futuristic | Connectedness

If you need a Strengths Hype Girl, for yourself or your team, connect with Brea at brearoper.com. She’s ready to deliver an inspirational keynote, empowering training, or transformational workshop. If you’re looking for an expert guide to support your internal Strengths efforts, reach out today! 

LISA CUMMINGS
Strategic | Maximizer | Positivity | Individualization | Woo

To work with Lisa, check out team workshops and retreats at the Lead Through Strengths site. For 1:1 strengths or life coaching, check out the Get Coached link. For independent coaches, trainers, and speakers, get business tools support with our Tools for Coaches membership.


The Fine Print: This podcast is not sanctioned or endorsed by Gallup in any way. Opinions, views and interpretations of CliftonStrengths© are solely the beliefs of Lisa Cummings and Brea Roper.

Ep. 157 - Appreciation & Recognition

We all know how good it is to feel valued at work. But, as a manager, is it worth the time and expense? And how can we ensure that our recognition resonates?

In today's episode, we dive into the powerful world of appreciation and recognition! We chat about how everyone loves to be recognized, but not everyone enjoys the spotlight in the same way. You’ll hear us share our personal experiences with recognition. We emphasize the importance of understanding individual preferences when it comes to appreciation, because what resonates with one person might not connect with another.

We also discuss some practical tips for recognizing your team or peers without breaking the bank. You’ll learn that simple, genuine compliments can go a long way, and how being specific about what you appreciate can amplify someone’s performance. Plus, we touch on the idea of the "platinum rule"—treating others the way they want to be treated. So, whether you're a manager or just someone looking to spread a little positivity, this episode is packed with insights and actionable ideas to help you create a culture of recognition in your workplace and beyond!🌟

📚 Further Reading:

  • Profit from the Positive by Margaret H. Greenberg and Senia Maymin, PhD.

    • Forward by Tom Rath, who we all know and love as the author of StrengthsFinder 2.0.

    • Whether you lead three employees or 3,000, this book shows you how to increase productivity, collaboration, and profitability using the simple yet powerful tools from the field of Positive Psychology.

    • Features case studies of some of the most forward-thinking and successful companies today―Google, Zappos, and Amazon

    • Provides over two dozen evidence-based tools you can apply immediately, and are completely free!

  • 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace by Gary Chapman & Paul White

    • This book gives you the tools to create a more positive workplace, increase employee engagement, and reduce staff turnover by teaching you to effectively communicate authentic appreciation and encouragement to employees, co-workers, and leaders.

    • BONUS: Each book contains a free access code to take the Motivating By Appreciation (MBA) Inventory, so you can learn your language of appreciation.

Let's start appreciating each other in ways that truly resonate! Because people are good. And the numbers will follow. 🎧✨

#Podcast #Productivity #Leadership #PersonalDevelopment #Appreciation #Recognition #WorkplaceCulture #TeamEngagement

    1. Recognition is Personal: Not everyone wants to be in the spotlight. While some thrive on public praise, others may feel uncomfortable with it. It's crucial to understand individual preferences when it comes to recognition. Pay attention to body language and responses when you acknowledge someone's efforts. This will help you tailor your approach and make your recognition more meaningful.

    2. Specificity Matters: Generic praise like "Good job!" can feel empty. Instead, focus on specific actions and results that you appreciate. For example, instead of just saying "Great work," try saying, "I loved how you handled that complex project; your analysis really helped us make informed decisions." This not only shows that you are paying attention but also reinforces the behaviors you want to see repeated.

    3. The Power of Intentionality: Our brains are wired to focus on what’s wrong. That’s why it’s essential to be intentional about recognizing the good in others. By actively looking for and celebrating strengths, we will create a more positive environment that builds trust and encourages people to work hard. In fact, research shows that frequent recognition can lead to a 40% increase in productivity!

  • ●      Start Recognizing Immediately: Recognition doesn’t have to be a big to-do or include expensive gifts. It can be as simple as a verbal acknowledgment, a note, or an email. You can start small. The key is to just start.

    ●      Be Specific in Your Praise: Instead of generic compliments like "good job," focus on specific actions or results that you appreciated. Highlight what the person did well and how it aligns with their strengths to encourage them to repeat that behavior.

    ●      Utilize CliftonStrengths: If you have access to the CliftonStrengths reports for your team, use the language and insights from those reports to tailor your recognition. This will help you appreciate team members in a way that resonates with them personally.

    ●      Create a Recognition Culture: Encourage a culture of appreciation not just as a manager but also as a peer. Look for opportunities to recognize small acts of kindness or effort in your daily interactions, both at work and in your personal life.

    ●      Download Lisa’s free resource: “127 Ways to Recognize Your Team" to find various methods of appreciation that go beyond simple praise.

  • Lisa:

    Hey, I'm Lisa.

    Brea:

    I'm Brea.

     

    Lisa: And today's topic is appreciation and recognition.

    Brea: I love to be recognized.

    Lisa: Well, I think most people love to be recognized. And just like we have different strengths, we have different styles for recognition, too. Especially at work. So let's talk about that element. How do you even know, say you are in a staff meeting with 100 people and you want to call them up to the stage so you can shine the spotlight on them and you see them shrink? How do you even avoid that?

    How do you know what someone likes and how they want to be appreciated?

    Brea: All I can think is, I've been that person. As much as I love to be in the spotlight, I love to shine the spotlight on other people. I love to just spoil and make people feel so special. I mean, hello, I'm the hype girl. You know what I mean? This is what I do. And so I've been in that position so many times, Lisa, where I have put so much thought and effort and time, money, all the things into creating this super delicious moment to really celebrate this person.

    And then it doesn't go as I planned. I missed the mark in some way. And I think it comes from not always really understanding what it is that they want. Just because I want the spotlight doesn't mean everyone does. Right. So yeah, it's such an interesting conversation. Yes.

    Lisa: I mean, I know recognition and appreciation, at their best, they require some specificity and the person to know what the thing is, but also just the idea of praise and attention in general can be great. I saw this McKinsey research that said, praise, attention from leaders, and opportunities to lead to projects are more effective motivators than performance-based cash rewards, increases in base pay, or stock options.

    Brea: Wow, that's pretty powerful. Yeah, I mean, all I hear is Jerry McGuire, like, show me the money, but like, that's not always true, you know? It's not always true.

    Lisa: And how many times do we have leaders, we're working with them to build their cultures, we're doing workshops with them, And they're like, I don't have the budget to just be throwing money at people for everything they do that's great. And that's the good news here. You can appreciate and recognize employees without it.

    So what do you do, Brea? They come to you and they say, where do I start? I don't have any money to give. I don't have budget for this sort of thing. What are some things I can be thinking about when I want to recognize my team or appreciate good performance?

    Brea: Yeah, so just start doing it, okay? Let's not worry about the best or the ideal or the perfect way to appreciate or recognize. Just start, a quick compliment, recognizing something good that someone has done. period and say it out loud. You can write it in a card. You can tell them in passing. You can just make a quick trip to the cube, you know, and tap them on the shoulder and say, hey, I noticed this. Even an email.

    I mean, anything that is more than what you're doing now, will it be appreciated? And then look for the shining eyes, look for the change in posture, the chest kind of puffs out a little bit or they sit up a little bit taller. Notice those signs of reception, of the recognition. And look for the shrinking people, you know, look for the people who are like, oh, no, please don't recognize me out loud in this team meeting in front of everybody. Pay attention to how they respond and you'll get better and better at appreciating and recognizing them in the way that they want to be recognized and appreciated or for the things that are most meaningful to them. I love it.

    Lisa: I love hearing the simplicity of just get to the doing and don't worry so much about the details. I find myself often giving the do's and don'ts so I like how you said it better to get someone to just get over the hump and go. I mean go beyond time spent because it's really easy to Make your first foray into recognition.

    Like, “I know everyone's been working so hard. Everyone's been staying up so late.” And it's not like you want to non-recognize people for putting in extra effort. But it also doesn't give them any information.

    One of the things I bust people on all the time is saying, Oh, “good job, buddy.” Good job, Brea. Good job. But there's nothing. There's no substance. It just feels like a platitude.

    I mean, if it's genuine and you did think they did a good job, I think that is better than saying nothing. However, if you can really get focused on the results you love seeing, What is the specific thing they did that they could repeat? So could you add on, I loved how this, I really appreciated this element of it.

    And remember, if somebody already created a result that you want, and you tell them about it, they can do it again, because they've already done it. So it's easy to repeat.

    And if they're using their strengths, it came naturally to them. So calling out the result part, and if it aligns with their strengths, and it got a result, you're going to amplify their performance. So you get something out of it, too, even if it feels like it's taking up your mental time and space to come up with the words to recognize them. It's worth it. It's worth it for them, for their engagement, for the performance of the team. I mean, all the way around.

    Brea: This is so good. So many little truth bombs that you mentioned there. Another thing is, you know, we talk a lot about CliftonStrengths on this podcast, and that assessment can give you the words that will really resonate with the specific person.

    If you're a manager of a team and you've got your CliftonStrengths reports of the people that you lead, go pull out words and phrases from that individual's report. It will tell you what they want to hear. It will tell you what they value. It will tell you where their strengths lie. And they want to be appreciated for that. They want to be recognized for that. So you don't have to come up with the words on your own. You've got that tool at your disposal.

    Lisa: Yeah. I mean, seriously, if you're the person who says, good job, buddy, and you want some specific words, when you look at it, you'll see the difference between somebody who leads through analytical, and you can say, wow, you really cut through all of the noise we've been faced with all this complexity, we couldn't get to the real answers, and you gave us the actual leading indicators to make some business decisions that change the course of our business in the last two quarters.

    Wow, that would be really meaningful to somebody who leads through analytical. But if you lead, have somebody lead, yeah, but if you lead through empathy and then you said something completely different, like, ooh, you caught that moment in the room when Jim was not having it, but we were all about to conclude the meeting, assume everyone was off to do the work, but you stopped and said, Jim, where are you on this? Because you saw it and no one else caught it.

    That kind of recognition goes a long way because it makes them want to use their talents. And those two examples are on a different planet from each other.

    Brea: Totally. This is making me think of how often as managers and leaders, we give what we have and we treat other people the way that we want to be treated. So we're leading from our strengths. And this can be a little challenging when it comes to appreciation and recognition, because that's just my language. So I recognize it easily when it happens. I appreciate it when it happens. So it's easy for me to appreciate that in others. but I don't lead with empathy. Let's imagine empathy is at the bottom.

    The people on your team with empathy are not ever going to hear those types of recognition and appreciation come from you unless you're intentional about it, unless you learn their language, and unless you're intentional about looking for those types of things. It's just not naturally going to come from you if it's not in your talents.

    So that's another place that having the language from the assessment is super helpful to understand where it's easy for you to appreciate, recognize, and give that to others, and where it's not. And to know that even if it's not natural for you, there is still hope. You know, you have this tool that can help you to make sure that everyone is included in being recognized and appreciated for what they bring.

    Lisa: Yes, absolutely. And this reminds me of something that you said in a conversation we had earlier. where you said, this is all about platinum rule. It's not about treating them the way I want to be treated. It's treating them the way that they want to be treated. And that extra step of me trying to think of their strengths, their motivators. their preferences, watching their eyes shine and repeating things in that area. That took effort on my part to care about them and who they are and what they bring.

    So it means that much more if you can recognize them for how they want to be treated, not for how you want to be treated.

    Brea: Yeah, it's interesting and a little fascinating to me that the idea of the golden rule, the idea of treating others as we want to be treated, is kind of already a stretch for a lot of people, you know, because there's just so much negativity in the world and the temptation is always to be focused on what's wrong, where do we need to fix something, what's broken, how can we make this better, and our brains have just kind of been trained in that way.

    You know, as we've grown, being kids in school, when we brought home the report card, the attention was on where we were lacking, you know? It wasn't praising the A's and the A pluses and the B's. It was: where are you struggling + let's fix the problem. And so just this idea of looking for what's good in people, looking for what they did well, And taking a moment to recognize that is a strengths-based approach.

    It's actually not only countercultural, but I think it's just kind of counter to the way that our negativity bias naturally works, you know, in our brains. And so we have to be intentional about this. What I mean by have to is we have to do it because it's not natural for us. So we have to be intentional. And also, we have to do this because people need it. I think it's a responsibility that we have to really shine the light on what is strong and what is working. And the irony of it all is that when we do that, when we appreciate what's working and recognize what's working and celebrate it, then we get more of it. Right. Because people feel valued. They feel appreciated. They feel wanted. They feel like they make a difference. And so they want to keep doing more of that. So your numbers will follow. Yes.

    Lisa: The numbers do follow. Yeah. And I like it because you're being like the you're being the appreciation hype girl. in a great way. And for those who are, yeah, you know, those who are like, yeah, this is the right thing to do, or this is what a leader would do.

    Some people are going to be totally motivated by it. And I can also see the people in our workshops who fold their arms, take a deep breath and say, that all sounds like a great rainbow land. We're all really busy and I don't have time to be giving everybody a trophy for just showing up and doing their job. And I will say, if you were the arm folder as you were listening to Brea, by the end, you caught her talking about how this does come around and serve. profitability, productivity. We have real metrics from strengths research.

    There's a book called Profit from the Positive, and she had a stat in there on managers giving frequent recognition and genuine encouragement, seeing a 40% increase in productivity. So, I just say, I encourage you, if you find yourself in the arm folding phase, because many of us find ourselves in and out of moments like that where you're like, I'm just too busy. I cannot pull my head up and start thinking about how people need praise from me.

    I feel like leaders experience that often where you are in a frazzled place and it feels difficult. to pull yourself out to do it. But this is a motivating metric to show that it is worth doing it. So you can't afford to be the arm folder. You can't afford to be the one saying you are too busy to do this. The team needs it.

    Brea: So your numbers will follow. There's a stat that comes from the Business News Daily. They say that more than 80 percent of employees say they're motivated to work harder. when their boss shows appreciation for their work. More than 80% of people are motivated to work harder. Your numbers will follow. And it's not hard to do this.

    And like you said, it doesn't even have to cost a lot of money. You can change your culture by just starting to appreciate and recognize specifically. Look for the specifics and look for what's good. And I think if you can focus on both of those things, you will see the change. And it can be immediate. And it can be dramatic. It can really transform. Absolutely.

    Lisa: And there are people who are listening who are not managers. There are also people who don't work in a corporate environment, and they might even be saying some of this applies to me and some of this doesn't. This matters for peers. This matters for you out in the world, just out in your life. If you take this on as something you're set out to do, I'm going to appreciate small things that people do for me in my regular life. We all have the power to do this.

    If you want to have a culture like that, that you work in, be part of creating that culture. There might even be a few listeners who are like, oh, my manager needs to hear this episode. But if you catch yourself… Send it to him. Share it with him. Yeah, sure. Definitely. Always share. Five star review. Share the episode. But also be the change you want to see. Start doing this recognition yourself.

    Brea: Oh, I love it. I love it. I'm inspired listening to you. It makes me think of how this breeds trust. It's not just a rainbows in the sky mentality. It's when you start to appreciate people, when you start to shine a spotlight on what other people are doing, you're building bonds, you're establishing trust, and it's breeding a culture of collaboration, whether it's in the workplace or in your families.

    There's this story from the Five Love Languages book by Gary Chapman that's like a million years old, but it's such a Such a good story. He was a psychologist and he was counseling a married couple and there was this room in their house that needed to be painted. And it was the husband's job to paint it. And the wife was getting so frustrated. Just, you know, week after week goes by and he's not getting this done. And so she's nagging. And so obviously there's conflict.

    So they're talking to Dr. Chapman and he says, look, what I want you to do, he says this to the wife, what I want you to do is ignore it. Don't talk about it at all. Don't bring it up one more time. And of course, you know, she's like, what? Like, no, I can't do that, you know? And he's like, just trust the process, right? And he says, what I want you to do instead is every time you see your husband do something helpful or something nice or something kind, I want you to praise it. I want you to recognize it out loud and say thank you.

    And she's like, oh my gosh, this is never gonna work. And he was like, just trust me. They came back the very next week and the room had been painted. And I think that's so telling of just how we just want to be seen. We just want to be heard. We just want to be understood. We want to be valued. We want to be wanted. We want to feel safe. We want to know that we're good enough. And when there's so much negativity around us, intentional or not, it's so easy to just go to the negative places in our mind, you know, the negative self-talk, to put ourselves down, to believe the lies.

    And that's so easy to do. That happens so fast because there are so many voices out there in the world telling us we're not enough or that we're not good enough. And we have to be the light. We have to speak the truth over people that we're good. You are good enough. So I think that's such a beautiful story to illustrate how it's something you do and it's something you don't do, right? By not nagging, by not focusing on the thing that- The lack. The lack, yeah. And focusing on all the good things that are happening, it really inspires people to want to do more good.

    Lisa: Yeah. You sparked for me a thought about another version of that book. There's a workplace version of it. I can't remember how the title goes. Yeah. It's called Five Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace. Okay. Appreciation. Well, how apropos for this episode title. Yeah. Okay. So when I read that, I was like, oh my gosh, there's a thing on high fives. I am 100% a hugs and high fives person. I love them. You could say zero words to me, just high five me for something or fist bump me for something. And I am getting a positive jolt out of it that is so great. I didn't express that to anyone.

    No one around me would know it. I just got excited if somebody put their hand up. I'm not sure why I never made a thing out of it. But after I read that book, I so freely offer them. When I was a leader, I would create these intake forms when I had a new hire, and I would just ask them questions on their first week. You could do it at any time, but I think first week really goes well. little things.

    For example: what's your favorite thing under $5 that you buy once a month? I just came up with these little quirky questions. I think it was, tell me about your favorite way you've ever been praised for something. Tell me about the best recognition you've ever received. Just a little different way of asking the same question a few times, but also about things like, what's your favorite drink? What's your favorite this, that?

    I remember once I gave a person a six-pack of Diet Dr. Pepper because it was his favorite drink and he had a busy week and it was kind of like, here's the go juice, you've been crushing it. It was just silly but it was also an acknowledgement of what he was putting in and he lost his mind over it.

    Brea: It's amazing. It's amazing how big of an impact that can have and if you're sitting there thinking, oh well it's not the same if you've filled out a form and you've told them, you know, it's like It kind of takes the magic out of it. It's amazing how many people forget that they give you that information.

    Lisa: They forget every time.

    Brea: Every time. Every time. So they're like, oh my gosh, how did you know? And the thing that I think all of this comes back to is that innate desire for us to be seen, for us to be known as humans. It's just such a foundational core need. And a six pack of Diet Dr. Pepper, that's your favorite drink, like showing up at your desk, is a way that you feel seen, you know? And so that's beautiful. I love it, Lisa. Will you be my manager? That's amazing.

    Lisa: Yes, that would be amazing. Okay. Well, you know someone else is listening and they're like, Brea, will you be my manager? Brea, will you be my recognition coach? Help me appreciate my people. So tell them a tip or a way to work with you or something that would be valuable along the lines of appreciation and recognition and working with you.

    Brea: Yeah. Well, if you’ve ever wondered what we mean when I say I’m the strengths hype girl. I mean, this is it. I love using the language CliftonStrengths gives us to better understand what’s good about you and your people. So, if that’s something you’re looking for, just find me on the website. It’s brearoper.com. We’ll hop on a call and co-design a solution that makes most sense for you.

    Lisa: Totally. And I challenge anyone listening who has a team member, like a direct report that is really frustrating you and you're having a tough time thinking of anything you could appreciate them for, get with Brea. She can hype anyone. She will find something amazing and valuable that you will genuinely agree with because you will be the one who comes up with it. But you won't believe how great she is at bringing this up.

    Brea:

    Thanks, Lisa. Yeah, my woo is ready. Bring it on. Yes.

    Lisa: I think this episode, I am just going to leave them with a resource. So one of our freebies on the website, LeadThroughStrengths.com slash Recognition, is 127 Ways to Recognize. And we always talk about how great managers notice what works. And this gives you ways to go beyond, good job, buddy, and get into some other specific ways. Some are silly and kitschy. I will warn you, I was a little bit of a goober in a few of the examples.

    But then there are also really serious ones and even formulas for those of you who are like, Just help me formulate this in a sentence, in an email, so I can put it together, but also be genuine with it. So it's 127 different ways to recognize people. Leadthroughstrengths.com slash recognition.

    Brea:

    Yeah, and I'll also put a link to that book that Lisa mentioned, Five Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace, because that's another great resource as well.

    Lisa:

    Excellent. Okay, well, Brea, you should bring us home because you've got your phrases on this one.

    Brea:

    When you know better, you feel better. And when you feel better, you do better. So if what you want is your people to do better, then you need to help them feel better. And the best way to do that is to know and understand how they feel appreciated, how they want to be recognized. If you can know that, you can help them feel better. And when they feel better, they will do better. And then the world will be a better place.

    Lisa:

    See, we are solving world peace. We're making people, I mean, it's free. It didn't cost any money to do it. It just requires a little extra thought. Beautiful.

    Brea:

    And a little bit of sparkle fairy dust.

    Lisa:

    Brea's fairy dust.

    Brea:

    People are going to be like, I'm done with this podcast. This girl needs to be gone.

    Lisa:

    Away with your fairy dust, Brea. I am not walking around with my dust. And it's like, yep, Brea can be kind of like the Tinkerbell flying over your shoulder. So you don't have to do the actual dust.

    Brea:

    Oh my gosh, we have got to get out of here. See you guys next week.

Remember, hard work doesn’t have to feel hard. Aligned with your strengths, it actually feels easy, energizing, and fun!
— Love, Brea

MEET YOUR CO-HOSTS

BREA ROPER
Communication | Woo | Activator | Futuristic | Connectedness

If you need a Strengths Hype Girl, for yourself or your team, connect with Brea at brearoper.com. She’s ready to deliver an inspirational keynote, empowering training, or transformational workshop. If you’re looking for an expert guide to support your internal Strengths efforts, reach out today! 

LISA CUMMINGS
Strategic | Maximizer | Positivity | Individualization | Woo

To work with Lisa, check out team workshops and retreats at the Lead Through Strengths site. For 1:1 strengths or life coaching, check out the Get Coached link. For independent coaches, trainers, and speakers, get business tools support with our Tools for Coaches membership.


The Fine Print: This podcast is not sanctioned or endorsed by Gallup in any way. Opinions, views and interpretations of CliftonStrengths© are solely the beliefs of Lisa Cummings and Brea Roper.

Ep. 156 - How To Get In Flow

In today's episode, we dive deep into the concept of flow, that magical state where time seems to disappear and creativity flows effortlessly. We share our personal experiences with flow—what it looks like for us, and the unique ways we prepare for those moments. You’ll hear us discuss the importance of creating space in your life, whether that means blocking off time in your schedule or setting the right environment with candles and epic soundtracks.

We also explore the difference between being in flow and simply being focused, and how understanding your own strengths can help you find your flow more often. So, if you’ve ever wondered how to get into that sweet spot of productivity and creativity, this episode is packed with insights and practical tips to help you discover your own flow state. Get ready to embrace the freedom to flow! 🌟

📚 Further Reading:

  • Soar With Your Strengths by Dr. Don Clifton. Learn more about the Five Clues to Talent, including the topic of this podcast: Flow (also known as Total Performance Excellence).

Additional Resource:

  • Monk Manual™ – This 90-Day Planner is a daily system that helps you focus on the most important things, so you can live each moment with greater purpose, productivity, and presence. Inspired by Monks. Backed by Science. Designed for you. 

If you're looking to enhance your productivity and creativity, I highly recommend tuning in to this episode! Let's explore how we can all get into flow more often and make the most of our unique talents. 🎧 ✨

#Podcast #FlowState #Productivity #Creativity #Leadership #PersonalDevelopment

    1. Flow vs. Focus: There’s a difference between being in a flow state and simply being focused. Flow is characterized by effortless engagement and losing track of time, while focus can be more about forcing yourself to complete tasks. 

    2. Create Space for Flow: To get into flow, it's essential to create space. This could mean blocking off time for specific activities or ensuring you have a relaxed environment free from distractions.

    3. Personalize Your Approach: Everyone experiences flow differently. Identify what works for you by reflecting on past moments of flow and recognizing the conditions that helped you get there. This could involve specific activities, environments, or even mental states.

    4. Embrace Freedom: Finding flow often requires a sense of freedom. Maybe it's the freedom to let your mind wander, the freedom to eliminate distractions, or the freedom to color outside the lines and approach your work in a new, innovative way. Recognize what kind of freedom you need to tap into your flow state.

    5. Leverage Your Strengths: Understanding your unique talents and strengths can help you create opportunities for flow. By aligning your activities with where you find natural yearning, learning, satisfaction, ease, and excellence (the five clues to talent), you will greatly enhance your chances of experiencing that effortless state.

    • Identify Your Flow Moments: Reflect on past experiences where you felt completely immersed and lost track of time. Write down these moments and analyze what conditions or activities contributed to that flow state.

    • Create Space for Flow: Block off dedicated time in your schedule for activities that allow you to enter a flow state. This could involve clearing your calendar, finding a quiet space, or eliminating distractions.

    • Prepare for Flow: Before engaging in tasks that you anticipate will require flow, take time to prepare your environment. This could include setting the mood with lighting, music, or other elements that help you feel comfortable and focused.

    • Practice Presence: Work on being present in the moment by minimizing distractions and allowing your mind to settle. This can involve mindfulness techniques or simply taking a few moments to breathe and center yourself before starting a task.

    • Leverage Flow Experiences: After experiencing flow, take time to reflect on what worked well and how you can replicate that experience in the future. Consider creating a plan or a list of topics to explore during your next dedicated flow time.

  • Lisa: Hey, I'm Lisa.

    Brea: I'm Brea.

    Lisa: And today's episode is all about how to get in flow.

    Brea: How flow can you go?

    Lisa: That's such a good question, where you're like, really, how much flow can I get? How often can I get it? I want it all the time.

    Brea: All the time.

    Lisa: Yeah. How often do you think you actually are truly in flow in a given week?

    Brea: Not as much as I want, that's for sure. I mean, my flow comes when I'm on a stage with thousands of people around me. So that rarely ever happens. Yeah, thanks for being real. Not even once a week.

    Lisa: Excellent for listeners to hear stuff like that because they think I'm not in it enough. I'm not doing it right or something is wrong with me, but really it is a unique state. Let's say it happens once every two weeks, once every month, and then it doesn't always hit you in the moment you can ride the wave. What do you do to try to give yourself space to actually get in the flow?

    Brea: Yeah. Yeah. I think this is such an interesting question. So I think back to the times when there's an opportunity for me to go jam with some friends. I clear that night. I'm not back to back, you know, running from thing to thing and squishing that in like I might during the workday, you know? So it's just, it's an interesting thought experiment. Are there opportunities in my workday to approach it like the off hours instead of just crunching things back to back? Can I just clear some space and say, you know what, I'm just going to block off these several hours so that I have freedom to flow?

    Lisa: Yeah. Ooh, yeah, freedom to flow is a key piece of how to get in flow. Let's just do the everyday work. What are things you do to get yourself closer to flow state when you really need to be in that energy or you would love to be in that energy of flow?

    Brea: Yeah. Well, I think if I know that the upcoming task or meeting or opportunity, whatever is on the calendar, if I know that it's going to be a flow experience, I know that I'm excited for it. I know I'm going to enjoy it. that there's going to be excellence there in all the things, all the clues to talent, then I want to do whatever I can to prepare myself for that, to set myself up for excellence. So, you know, it's time blocking before and after to get all my ducks in a row. I'm a lot of a planner and also a lot of a go with the flow. I call this planning to be spontaneous. You know, like get all the things that I think I might need, create the environment. You know, maybe it's lighting a candle. Maybe it's turning on. I have an epic movie soundtrack playlist that is perfect for helping my brain focus because there are no words. And with communication, I get so distracted by words, you know, like that will take me to a totally different place of flow that I don't need to be if I'm editing a podcast, you know. No lyrics allowed. No lyrics allowed. But I need that energy. You know, I need the epic soundtrack is a lot different than classical music, which I love. Or I listen to Gregorian chant, you know, like I'm a weird Catholic homeschooler, you know, so those have their place. But the epic movie soundtrack is perfect for when I want to get into admin flow. But Lisa, I'm going to throw it back to you because I don't know that we define flow in the same way because even saying that out loud, I'm like, admin flow? Like it's just… The best that I can do is to light a candle, to open up the windows, let some fresh air in, but it's not real flow.

    Lisa: Yes. It's almost like this segment where we're doing the side-by-side. We're kind of doing, fake flow isn't the greatest terminology, but it is kind of what it is. We're trying to borrow elements from real flow into things that we actually wouldn't get into true flow on. So yes, glad you acknowledge that. Okay. A friend of mine, Col Maggs, he's a fellow strengths coach. So shout out to Col.

    Brea: Yeah. Hi Col.

    Lisa: Yeah, he was thinking about how to get in flow versus how to get in focus are really different because you might have the ability to have focused energy on a task or many tasks and we Make ourselves get in that state because we need to get stuff done and that happens on the regular that probably happens Every day at least for a little smidge of time.

    Yeah, but and that is an element of flow. I think you have to have focused energy inside of flow, but flow is more. It's that effortless, I lost track of time, often in a creative zone. And it's a wave that comes that you can really ride if you'll allow it. So yeah, you're very much a vibe scout, like with your candles and the things that you do in all your environments. That's cool. And I think for some people, it happens when they're journaling. For some people, it happens with morning pages. Sometimes it needs a little stream of consciousness to get some juices flowing at the beginning, but sometimes the brainstorm just starts dumping instantly. For me, I will do a little bit more like brainless tasks for the first 15 minutes to get into task mode, because that's not my favorite mode, and I kind of need to shift into that. So that's very different from other people who are like, eat that frog first or do the most important thing. Just get it right out of the way, straight up. I will just stare at my screen. So I will do warmup activities. I will also focus on what I don't do. So I love to be efficient. I think maximizer, strategic, I have a lot of talent themes that are very much into efficiency. So I'll try to cram in things like, ooh, I have five minutes slice of time. I'm going to leave messages for people. I'm going to have a podcast playing so that I can be learning on this next topic I'm working on. and I overcram my brain, it's kind of overstimulation. And that does not put me in an environment where I can be in that flow or fake flow. So I think that's a big one for me as well. It's what I'm not doing. But I think to switch gears off of fake flow, we should compare real flow. What is a flow state? What is this effortlessness? Where do you lose track of time? Let's go over to that side. What does that look like for you? How do you get into it? How do you come out of it? What does it feel like for you? How do you get into real flow?

    Brea: Yeah, I wish you could see me. My whole body posture just changed. I'm smiling from ear to ear now. This idea of real flow is so good. This is one of the main reasons why I do strengths. Why we're talking about clues to talent, because if you can clue into your talent, then real flow is possible. It's the best. Isn't it the best? Yes. I forgot the question because I just was like so excited to talk about it. The thing about flow that I love the most is that when it's real, when it's authentic, when it's truly flow, it's not manipulated. It's not something you have to strive for. It happens. It's natural. You don't have to try to get into flow. It will just happen. And so I think it's important to think about how we can generate more opportunities for us to be in flow. I think that's a very important conversation. And also, it's important for us to be more intentionally aware of when this might be happening or when we might see glimpses of this happening in our everyday life so that we can get more of it because it is happening. Flow can happen when I'm editing a podcast. I get into that zone of communication and crafting the message and refining our communication in the recording and I can slip into that place

    Lisa: Yeah, and I love that you brought that up. When you lose track of time, when you lose yourself, I can get into flow state easily when I'm making something. And that could be anything from songwriting to making a deck for a presentation. But if I'm making it and it's just a new thing that didn't exist before, Those are elements where I can really get into it. I also notice I can't force them very well I can tell when I'm making myself do the task or melt making myself put in practice and the difference in the days when I Am just like oh I could do this all day long I could do this for seven hours and not realize all that time has ticked by and I I don't know if you're as keenly aware when you're in it, but I tend to notice, oh, I was just in flow when it's over and I pull my head up and I'm like, whoa, six hours just went by. I was just in flow.

    Brea: That's right. Yeah. I have to catch myself when I'm facilitating workshops. where I'm totally in flow. My energy is off the charts. There's so much adrenaline coursing through my veins to probably the point of being unhealthy, you know, for my body to sustain that much adrenaline for so long. But it feels so amazing. And because it is such a flow state for me, it's almost like the flow is taking over me. I kind of have to control the flow.

    Lisa: I could see that because if you're doing something like you're in a workshop and you forgot you didn't give them a break for three hours and they just really need to go to the bathroom right now or you're not as tuned into them because you're so lost in the moment, you lost the timing that you wanted to use for a given number of exercises. I could see that being a thing. And also, I think there's something to the lead-in. At least for me, this is very important. Even though I may not know that I'm about to get in flow, I can't say for sure it's about to happen because it's a whole orchestration of things. So even though the episode is about how to get in flow, there are probably nuances to it for me that are more like how to set yourself up for the opportunity for it to happen. Because some days it just doesn't happen. But for example, if I'm going in to lead a retreat for strengths with a group, I need to make sure there's adequate time blocked off before and after that everything is prepared and settled that I don't feel frazzled in any way about the logistics or where to show up and I mean this could be something as tactical as driving by the venue the night before so that I've laid my eyes on it and I know what building I'm headed toward Those are things I do to make sure I can be in the right state of mind for them and be of total service to them the next day. And then the day of, getting up an extra hour early so that I can have some intentions and just get myself in the space. How, how do I want to show up for them? What environment do I want to create? What do I, what are my hopes for them and what they'll experience? And just really getting my mind oriented to how I can be of service to them instead of hurry up, hurry up, hurry up. Oops, room service didn't show up. Oh, I'm running late. Oh, the Uber didn't come. You know, those kinds of things are, bound to harsher flow, make that thing not happen as easily or naturally or might even block it. So I think in the notion of how to get in flow for me, it's a lot about how did you set yourself up for the opportunity for it to happen and then you can't force it to happen. It may or may not.

    Brea: Yeah, I think it's so, it's just so fun to listen to you describe your flow and it's different than mine and it's different for the listeners based on our talents, right? I can be a planner too in certain situations, but that usually doesn't feel like the flow. It's like I'm preparing for the flow. But I think that's so key. And again, why we're talking about all of these clues to talent is because if you can think about your talents and how do they get into flow, That's really what you need to do. You know, listen to us. That's fine. Thank you. Thank you for listening. But I hope that you take these a step further. And instead of just trying to replicate what works for us, think about what works for you through your talents.

    Lisa: Yeah. And if I add on to what you said, I think that there's a key element of how to get in flow and the moment when you're actually trying to get in it right now. And I think that is presence. And I say that to bring up a contrast between you and me. So I think I have fewer talent themes that put me easily in presence, the right here, right now with people. I mean, you lead through connectedness and things that are that is what they are. They're here, they're in the moment with the person. So I have a lot of thinking themes that are thinking about thinking and about where we're headed and how to make that happen. And I can really be in my logic brain And that is not flow. I am not in flow when I'm in my logic brain. And I have to do that planning stuff I was talking about in order to put myself in an environment so I can then release it, let that go, and be there with them. And then I can turn on things like individualization and say, ooh, I'm curious about you. Let's talk about how this one applies to you. And I can ask them really pointed questions about what's going on based on things they just said in the moment. But my brain won't go there. It won't let go of the logic stuff if I haven't prepared myself so that it can settle down and hang out in the background. So I think that's another element. I don't know how that strikes you, but for me, my talents aren't as present. And I think those make me fight to get into flow.

    Brea: Yeah, that's so… Actually, I think it's really… I'm really self-aware and really insightful. Insight. Insightful insight.

    Lisa: Like, okay, have you ever read Deep Work from Cal Newport? I don't think I have, no.

    Brea: I don't think I have.

    Lisa: Okay, so he doesn't specifically talk about it as flow, but it is pretty much that topic. But he goes really extreme and he talks about this thing that He calls it, I believe he calls it monastic work, literally like monastery or monk kind of work, where he is gone from the world. It is like, I am in my zone and it has boundaries and you can't get in. I'm doing my monk work today for the next eight hours. That is so difficult for me to imagine being gone. He talks about it long-term. weeks at a time or more. I can block out a day and I do do that. For example, if I need to create something for an event, I will block an entire day so that I don't have to get on calls that interrupt it because that will totally interrupt my flow and just jolt me right out of it and I can't get back. The only thing I'm going to be that day is a thinker or a tactical person. It's not going to be like the flowing creative. And so I can take little moments like that and the moments might be a full day, but I think that feels so indulgent for so many professionals. to read a book like that and think, oh yes, I'm going to be monastic for a week or a month at a time. Well, what does that mean? Quitting my job? I mean, those things feel so out of reach to so many people if they don't have a life they've already crafted around all of this. So that's why I like talking about- That is so interesting. Yeah, things like, for me, I just need to figure out how to allow myself to be present for that day, not for taking off an entire month.

    Brea: Well, this is so my connectedness is connecting. So I. I love what you were saying, Lisa, about your experience. You have to kind of eliminate the obstacles or get rid of the distractions or allow your logic brain to move through what it needs to move through so that you feel more free to be in flow in the present moment. And when I think about what I know about true monasticism and monks, and I have some experience, with monks. I went to a small Catholic liberal arts school where there were monks living on campus and teaching us and their monasteries on campus. They didn't live. Yeah. Anyways, so like the thing is, is that it's not a retreat. It's not like I'm going to go away for a week or two weeks and focus on this thing. The real beauty of the flow that I've observed in them is it's 24-7. There's like this interior place of freedom that allows them to kind of stay in flow no matter what they're doing. So it's not like you have to sustain the flow, you know, for an eight hour work day or a week or two weeks. You know, it's it's like when they're gardening, when they're praying, when they're, you know, like walking, they're just kind of always plugged in.

    Lisa: Yes. That's what I mean by that presence thing. Yes.

    Brea: Yeah. So I really think it's good to ruminate on this idea of like real flow can't be created, can't be grasped for. We can do our best to create an environment where it's likely to happen. We can look at times where it's happened in the past for us and try to recreate opportunities that are similar. But I think that there's something about staying plugged into the truth of who we are and how we operate at our best, staying in that place, you know, no matter what we're doing instead of What we've learned to do in life is to do it like other people, you know, to look at how someone else has been successful and let me try to replicate what other people have done instead of just being really calm and, and steady in our own operating system, you know, and in our own, our own talents and our own strengths and leading with that. Maybe I'm over philosophizing, but that's where I am.

    Lisa: That's good. And if you just want to twist a little bit of practicality in there, I think that as we kind of close it up and imagine someone listening and wanting to apply this in their lives and get into that experience a little more often, You can think of it like a remembering, where these moments of total immersion, just think back, close your eyes, take those moments. Where were you totally immersed? Where did you absolutely lose track of time last time? Where did you have just full energy, but you didn't have to generate it, it was just there, or it was being generated by the activity you were in? remember those things because there might only be a couple of them in your life that pop up in your mind like you might have just come up with one memory and that one memory might not even be related to something you could apply to work or your everyday life where you're in here listening to how to get into flow and you're like yeah I want to get into flow for work but uh what I personally just thought of going through that exercise was hiking So how does that help me? And then it just takes you through that process. What is it about hiking? What could I learn from that? What can I apply to that? And then keep asking the question and get two or three examples and find the trends in those and you'll start to find things you can apply to your workday and you can apply to other elements of your life that you're trying to get into flow for.

    Brea: Yeah, it's so good. It makes me think of I still maybe am a little bit stuck on what you were talking about earlier, the obstacles to flow. And I wonder if sometimes, well, I'm thinking of someone that I know who was just always late. to everything. And it was because as he was walking from place to place, he would see people that he wanted to talk to. And so he would talk to them. And then the five minutes that he had to walk from where he started to where he was supposed to end up turned into 30 minutes. You know, I mean, he was always really late to where he was going. And so there was an obstacle, but the obstacle was coming from his place of flow or his place of talent, right? He was in flow when he was moving. He's definitely a mover. He always likes to be going. So the, I think the physical action of walking was, was warming him up, you know, or like getting him into that flow state. And bumping into people as he's walking across the campus, it was his talents that were the obstacles to him getting to the place that he needed to go and being on time because that was not his talent, right? So the flow was actually like getting in the way of what he actually needed to be doing. And so he started building in buffers. He said, OK, look, if it usually takes me 30 minutes to walk a five minute route, then I just I'm just going to set that time aside. And so I hope that's helpful for people as you listen and you think about how this applies to you. Where are your talents helpful for getting you into flow? Or what do your talents need to be in flow? And also like How do you create the time, create the space for that? And then we didn't really talk a lot about getting out of flow, but that's another thing to consider. Like we're thinking of flow like water in a hose, for instance, right? We talked about turning it on, letting the flow kind of build up, then you're in full flow, then you turn it off. And after you turn it off, there still is that amount of water in the hose, right? What if the thing that you're planning after you've been in flow, what if there's a hard stop? You have a meeting coming up and so you gotta get out of flow real quick. So you turn off the hose. There still is gonna be a little bit of that flow left. How do you maximize that or optimize that or leverage that going into your next thing? I think those practical applications help us to get closer to that monastic experience of like staying in flow all the time, you know, that he was talking about. If we can see how there are not just these moments of flow, but also how the moments can flow into each other. I mean, that's the goal.

    Lisa: Giving me a personal insight on this one, it made me think about how when I am flying, I do have flow state relatively often when I am on a plane. And I think it's because the Wi-Fi is so bad, I just give up on trying to get something done that is digital when I'm on a plane. So I bring blank sheets of printer paper and it becomes mind wander, brainstorm, strategize. It just flows. Oh look, we're landing. We'll get the touchdown and then I'll fold it up and put it in my backpack and the next time I fly, I'll pull that out and I'll be like, oh yeah, I remember that thread. That was going to be really good. But I literally just fold it in half, put it back in there, and that's where it goes to die because I didn't have it planned out. What I could do with the ideas or with the momentum, and that would be easy enough. I would just need to block some extra time anticipating that this happens often, and I don't. So thank you for that insight because it would be leveraging the flow that already happened if I would just give it a little time for those ideas to get closed out on.

    Brea: And also going back to what the question that we asked earlier is, you know, when was the last time you were in flow? So now that you're thinking about that, you can say, oh, wow, like I get into flow when I don't have the distractions of Wi-Fi or all the other things that are normally around me. I have this time, I have this space. So can you create that time and space? When you're not on a plane, would it be helpful to you to be like, I'm going to go somewhere and pretend like I'm on a plane, you know, and just pull out these white sheets of paper? Like, do you think it would be the same? What do you think?

    Lisa: I think it might be better. I could say, OK, what's a typical flight? Two and a half hours. Instead, go to a beautiful park bench in nature where I also don't know people that I can talk to. because that's where I would get distracted. I think that would be a better environment. I don't love the act of flying outside of the mental stuff that goes on when I have the space. So yeah, I do. I think I could leave the phone in the car and replicate it Yeah, brilliant. What a great way to make it practical and say, Oh, look, you remembered how you get into it. So how else could you create that in your life in a different environment? And heck, I think just guessing because I haven't tried it, but I actually think it would be better.

    Brea: Yeah. So then to go one step further, let's say you did do that. You blocked off two and a half hours and you go to the park and you, you sit on the beautiful park bench. What would you use that time for? What would be the best use of that time?

    Lisa: I think I would get the most out of it and it would be the most fruitful if I thought of something the day before because it has to be really relevant to what is going on and I just give myself a mental direction for what the printer paper and my pen and my brain are conspiring to do and I just get that topic and before I would go to sleep the night before I would make sure I have that topic in mind and then when I show up that's it because I don't give myself parameters like that before I get on the plane outside of a topic area or direction and I just let it flow. If you know you're hanging out there and if it's not coming I would be perfectly content sitting on my park bench looking at birds for a bit until something plops in because I know I don't give myself enough white space for my brain to have that free time, and that's what the magic of the plane is for me. I would just know it's okay if I haven't done planning beyond that. That's really all that would be required to replicate the experience. And then when I'm in it, just having the patience to be present and let it come or not come or come 10 minutes later.

    Brea: Yeah. Thanks for sharing that, Lisa. What I'm hearing as the thread throughout this conversation is freedom. For you, it might be the freedom to not do things that you would normally do, right? To not pack your schedule, to eliminate different things, to create that white space for your brain. For me, it's the opposite. It's what can I do to create the space, like lighting a candle, opening up the windows, setting the vibes. So for our listeners, what kind of freedom do you need to find that flow?

    Lisa: Beautiful. So this is great, because this leads to the call to action of working with Brea as a coach, because this, to me, feels exactly like what it would be like. Bria coaching me right now, asking me the questions, taking me through. I think it's a great trial experience. They get to hear someone thinking through. And just a shout out to another friend of the show, Ricardo, since he recently put our names together, Lisa and Bria, and made Libre, and said, that means free.

    Brea: Perfect. Thank you, Ricardo. Libre. I love it. We've got our celebrity couple name. Look at us. That's right. Well, Lisa, you so generously told everyone how they can work with me by going to my website, BreaRoper.com, and scheduling a call. How can they work with you?

    Lisa: LeadThroughStrengths.com. Go to Get Coached in the main menu, and we can step through any of these kind of exercises, conversations, and focus on the strategy of how to get in flow for you based on your strengths, your preferences.

    Brea: Well, I guess that's Libre signing off for this week's episode.

    Lisa: Go be free! Free bird! I love it. See y'all later.

Remember, hard work doesn’t have to feel hard. Aligned with your strengths, it actually feels easy, energizing, and fun!
— Love, Brea

MEET YOUR CO-HOSTS

BREA ROPER
Communication | Woo | Activator | Futuristic | Connectedness

If you need a Strengths Hype Girl, for yourself or your team, connect with Brea at brearoper.com. She’s ready to deliver an inspirational keynote, empowering training, or transformational workshop. If you’re looking for an expert guide to support your internal Strengths efforts, reach out today! 

LISA CUMMINGS
Strategic | Maximizer | Positivity | Individualization | Woo

To work with Lisa, check out team workshops and retreats at the Lead Through Strengths site. For 1:1 strengths or life coaching, check out the Get Coached link. For independent coaches, trainers, and speakers, get business tools support with our Tools for Coaches membership.


The Fine Print: This podcast is not sanctioned or endorsed by Gallup in any way. Opinions, views and interpretations of CliftonStrengths© are solely the beliefs of Lisa Cummings and Brea Roper.

Ep. 155 - Discovering Strengths at Home

Whether on a trip to Vegas, family reunion, or navigating the mountain’s edge, our strengths are there every step of the way. The question is, are they guiding, protecting, and supporting you? Or are they getting in the way, causing conflict and confusion? 

If you're dealing with a frustrating situation at home, or just want to bring a little more joy into your relationships, this episode is packed with insights and tips to help you embrace your strengths in every aspect of life! 🌟

    1. Life Beyond Work: It's easy to get caught up in our professional identities, but we are whole beings with lives outside of our jobs. Our strengths don't just apply to our work; they can enrich our family interactions, friendships, and personal experiences. Recognizing that we can apply our strengths in all areas of life opens up new opportunities for connection and understanding.

    2. Appreciation Over Frustration: Moments of frustration can be transformed into appreciation by understanding each other's strengths. Instead of reacting negatively, taking a moment to pause and appreciate the unique talents of those around us can lead to healthier communication and stronger relationships. This shift in perspective can be a game-changer in how we interact with our loved ones.

    3. Communication is Key: The assessment is just the beginning. It’s crucial to have open conversations about our strengths and how they show up in our daily lives. By discussing our strengths with family and friends, we can avoid misunderstandings and create a more supportive environment. This dialogue allows us to celebrate our differences and work together more effectively, whether planning a trip or navigating daily challenges.

    4. Celebrate Strengths Together: Engaging in activities that highlight and celebrate each other's strengths—like family reunions with strength-themed t-shirts—can foster a sense of unity and appreciation within families.

    • Apply Strengths in Everyday Life: Reflect on how you can use your strengths outside of work, particularly in family and personal relationships. Consider moments of frustration and think about how your strengths can help you navigate those situations.

    • Communicate Openly About Strengths: Have conversations with family and friends about your respective strengths. Discuss how these strengths manifest in daily life and how they can complement each other, enhancing collaboration and reducing conflict.

    • Practice Appreciation: When conflicts arise, take a moment to pause and appreciate the other person's strengths instead of reacting negatively. This shift in perspective can lead to more constructive conversations and a better understanding of each other.

    • Engage in Strengths Coaching: Consider seeking coaching for yourself or your family to better understand and leverage strengths in your relationships. This can be done individually or as a group to foster a deeper appreciation of each other's talents.

  • Lisa:

    Hey, I'm Lisa.

    Brea:

    I'm Brea.

    Lisa:

    And today's topic is Strengths in the Wild.

    Brea: 

    I feel like we need some kind of like epic like MGM Grand, you know, something, something.

    Lisa: 

    A lot of deep reverb on that. Yeah. Drugs in the wild. Yeah. Let's talk about beyond work. You know, we always talk about the workplace. We have a lot of clients that we work with in the workplace, but you know what is interesting about people who work and people who don't?

    Brea: 

    What's that?

    Lisa: 

    They both have lives outside of work.

    Brea: 

    Stop it. What? People don't just work every hour of every day. I mean, what are you talking about?

    Lisa: 

    There is life outside of work and there's an opportunity to apply strengths outside of work and especially, let's think family time. I hear people talk about my significant others getting on my nerves. Oh, I'm in a fight with my mother-in-law. Oh, my kid has been just insufferable this week. Yes. Those are also things you could apply your strengths to.

    Brea: 

    Come on! Oh, I love this. So what you're saying is there's not just a work me and a home me. There's an all of me, all the time, like who I am as all the things, all the time. Yeah, okay.

    Lisa: 

    Pretty much. And I know we've both said it before, maybe every single time we've ever delivered a workshop in the workplace, when we've been like, hey, this report, it's not just about work. are one whole being, and this applies to home, this applies in all the places, but we get really focused on workplace often. So we're dedicating this episode to beyond the workplace.

    Brea: 

    And this is one of the reasons why strengths is the best assessment out there. In my opinion, I love it so much because so many of the other assessments are focused on just the workplace. And even though Strengths was designed just for the workplace, I still think, I mean, it does such a good job of really getting to the core of not who we are as human beings. It's not our identity, but but how we show up, how we work, how we live, how we think, how we feel, how we act. You know, it's all those those patterns that are just so central to how we move throughout the world, you know. So let's dive in.

    Lisa: 

    Well, I have the perfect example about using strengths at home. And I don't know if this is a great thing for me to do or not. I'm tattletaling on my parents.

    Brea: 

    Well, it's all from a place of love, you know?

    Lisa:

    It is. Okay, so they took their CliftonStrengths assessments recently and came to visit. And as they arrived at my house, they were squabbling with each other. And what happened was they came up, my driveway is on a mountain and the parking can be a little bit, a little bit precarious. And they had just taken a two day road trip and had done all kinds of driving. And my dad was trying to navigate this truck, pulling up. There are all these different trailers in a tight space, so he didn't want to hit the nose of one of the trailers. So apparently he had asked my mom, can you get out and tell me how close I am? 

    Brea:

    Yeah, sure.

    Lisa: 

    And maybe road-weary, she made a snide response. Oh no. Like, how long have you been driving? 70-something years? And he said, you are the worst wife.

    Brea: 

    Oh my gosh! Dad! Come on! 

    Lisa:

    He said, I've been driving for two days and I haven't asked for any help. And he asked one little thing and she made fun of him for not being able to drive. 

    Brea:

    Oh my gosh. 

    Lisa: 

    So this created a whole fight. So we talked about it through the lens of strengths. And when you're having those moments, and this would go for either of them, if they looked at this as appreciation instead of being annoyed with each other what would it have looked like let's just give a for example and now this is my words not not theirs but if she had said what is it about him that really wants to get the extra eye on this well one he wants to make sure he's not falling off the mountain because you truly could fall down a switchback. I mean reasonable. He leads through deliberative. Risk manager.

    Brea: 

    I was just going to say, where's the deliberative? Number one. It is number one. What's the absolute worst thing that could happen right now? We could literally fall off the side of the mountain and die. Okay, great. Don't want to do that.

    Lisa: 

    Okay. How about also number two, responsibility.

    Brea: 

    I was just going to ask, where's his responsibility, right? I got to do it right.

    Lisa: 

    I'm going to do it right. I don't want to dent my truck. I don't want to move their trailer. I don't want all of these things that you would do if you were being responsible about showing up to this tight space. Also, am I parked appropriately and not too crooked because someone else is about to come up the driveway and I don't want to block them in. There needs to be turnaround space. Yes. You know how it is. If you're frustrated with somebody, do you take a 60 second pause before you answer so that you can be in fascination and appreciation? No, often we don't. We make a little comment and it offends someone. And if there was a little bit of pause there, she could have appreciated. Why? he was asking for this extra help. And then instead of him saying, you're the worst one.

    Brea:

    Which is obviously not true because they have been married for so long.

    Lisa: 

    Over 50 years. So yes, then he could have been looking, you know, from her perspective, what she might have cared about in that moment. And we had a great conversation over the next few days about appreciating each other's talents. And there were some, like one we all had in common, the three of us, is strategic. So we talked a lot about what that looks like. And it looked very different on each of us, because you can imagine if my strategic is mixed with focus and activator, but my dad's is mixed with deliberative, making a quick decision may not look the same. He doesn't make quick decisions. He can see all the options really quickly, but he wants time to think on them. So we talked about how sometimes we have these similarities, but then in the daily life, it shows up. really differently on a person. And then sometimes you have opposites, like his deliberative is number one, it's at my bottom, it's at my mom's bottom. So being able to see some of those areas where they could cause total conflict, but they could also be amazing, because if you don't want to spend your headspace in that area, then how cool that your home teammate is, and now you don't have to.

    Brea: 

    Totally. I've learned it the hard way, but it's so important to have that perspective, especially when big life decisions are happening. If that's a blind spot that you know that you have and it matters, partner up with someone.

    Lisa: 

    Yeah. I mean, we're talking about everyday strengths at home. This is totally something my husband does as well. He walked around the house and saw that the toilet hoses were made of plastic instead of the braided stainless or whatever the good ones are made out of. Oh no. And came out and said- Of course he just noticed that.

    Brea: 

    Yes. He's just walking around and he just sees it because of his talent.

    Lisa: 

    Yes. And when he brings it up I'm like, is there a leak? What brought this to your attention? And he's like, no, because these are the things you have to catch so that you don't have an insurance claim. So you don't. That's right. That doesn't happen. Yes. And I'm thinking, never, literally never would I be examining behind a toilet unless there was water under my feet. And this is beautiful. I get the benefit of now having all the hoses replaced and no insurance claims.

    Brea

    And really you get the benefit of there never being water under your feet, right? Like that won't happen because he's done the work. Yeah.

    Lisa: 

    Yeah. I think it's a really good use of strengths at home because these are the exact things that could cause conflict in relationships, but also they're the exact things that make you so valuable to each other and they're so easy to appreciate if you're not in the moment of a conflict, but you're just in a moment of thinking about what you appreciate or where you need someone to complete you. Right, right.

    Brea: 

    Well, don't get me started on that, but that can be another podcast, the whole you complete me thing. But here's what I think is super interesting is the idea of frustration and the connection to talents. I think two things come to mind. Number one, when we feel frustrated, it might be coming from someone else's talents. We can feel frustrated by the way that other people act, right? We can also feel frustrated when our talents are not being seen, heard, met, fed. When our talents are not able to do what they're meant to do, that can feel very frustrating to us. And sometimes it's what we have and sometimes it's what we don't have. Like someone else is deliberative, you know, being number one when it's my 34. That can feel really frustrating to me because I'm like, I don't think like that. So the frustration that we feel can clue us into the talents of others and to our own talents.

    Lisa: 

    Well, another example just popped in my head. Shout out to my bestie, Christine. We went to Vegas this summer to go see the Beatles love show before it closed out. And so fun. Yeah, it was so fun. And we really got to explore our strengths just in an everyday life strengths in the wild. We both lead through individualization in our top five. And so an interesting thing there is we're both very tuned into what the other person would want. And it almost kept us from getting some cool progress. So she leads through a ranger and that one is not high for me. We both like to be organized. I'm definitely a planner, but she's like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. If you talk about a thing, it can be just done. And she was hesitating to do things like suggest hotel and where the seats would be and all of these things you could optimize to get all the tickets purchased and all the things done. And finally, we started talking about it through strengths. And she's like, Yeah, if you're down, I can just get it all done. And I was like, Yes. And when anything automatically happens, and I don't have to do the work, I think it's the most exciting thing ever, even if it would have been my third pick for a hotel, even if it would have been my fourth best seat, which was not the case. But I was just so stoked that it was getting done and getting done so quickly. And all I had to do was log it in the calendar. I thought that was the coolest thing ever. But we actually had to have the conversation. because she was excited to get it done. And I was excited to have her get it done. But I didn't want to abuse the relationship and put it on her because for me, that feels like a ton of work to do all of that coordinating of those things, the flight, the hotel, and like all of that. So we had this cool strengths conversation where it felt good to her to knock it out, get it done. And then it felt good to me that it was done. It felt so smooth. And she got energized by doing that. And I got energized by her doing that.

    Brea: 

    Gosh, it's such a good example because how many times, spoiler, every day, all the time, how many times do we project our own biases onto other people? We think, oh, because this is hard for me, it's gonna be hard for her, so I don't wanna subject her to that. And gosh, it's just such a gift when we have this language of strengths because it gives us the permission to just show up in our strength and to say go for it, like you do your thing and I'll do my thing and together we're all stronger, you know? I love that.

    Lisa: 

    And also I think it brings out this good example of how you do often have to talk about it out loud with a person in your family or your friend. You have to, yes. Yeah, because she assumed, actually, because individualization, she thought I would want more say. She thought I would want to have a little bit more control or input over what the trip looked like, and I didn't. I didn't need that at all. It was magical that I didn't have to worry about that. So just think about that. She could have been using her individualization strength to honor that I had input and I would have liked that less. And that is exactly what would have happened if we hadn't talked about it.

    Brea: 

    And this is such a good point that the assessment is just the beginning. How many times have we said that? We can't put people in boxes. I can't look in my magic crystal ball and say, well, because you have this profile, I know exactly how you're going to respond or what you're going to want. It's the beginning of the conversation, right? We have to have communication with each other and communication with ourselves as well, you know, to say, what is this assessment suggesting that I look into? Can I dig a little bit deeper? Um, it's not, oh, it's just, it's not prescriptive like other assessments that are out there. It doesn't put you in a box. It really opens so much more room for you to grow, to grow in relationship with others and appreciation for others and appreciation and relationship with yourself too.

    Lisa: 

    Yeah. So much of what happens with strengths comes on the inside motivations, not like this prescription that says you will totally behave this way and this is what this one looks like. You could name an action and we could probably give you three to ten different CliftonStrengths that might describe why someone would be motivated toward that kind of action because of a strength. That's why the conversation is so important.

    Brea: 

    Yes, don't put labels on people. Strengths are not labels, right? This is an opportunity to show up and have those conversations and I just think that's so important when we are having challenging conversations. There's a difference when we say a talent theme name versus the person's name, right? It really changes the conversation to be able to to separate someone's action or something that we're observing that we want to talk about, to separate that from the person themselves is, it's just, it's such a gift.

    Lisa: 

    It's such a gift. You're making me think of one more of my best buds, Anne. She gives this example of a code word they've come up with, and it's Penelope. And they'll be like, Penelope! So how much nicer would it be if she's in the middle of something and he says, Penelope, instead of, you're being really bossy right now. You know, that comes across totally differently and keeps you from being defensive. And I think those kind of code words and or open conversations come out from these strengths discussions with family, friends, relatives, in ways that you never would have if you only kept your strengths to the workplace.

    Brea: 

    Yes, having 34 words help us move from frustration to fascination really quickly. If you understand what each of the 34 talent themes are, or at least the top five or the top 10 of the person that you're in communication with, if you can understand what they are and how they can be good, how they can be helpful, productive, fascinating, right? All those things. even if in the moment, you know, they're not fulfilling their fullest potential, maybe they're in their shadow side of their strength, we can still understand coming from a good place. And without that language, we don't have that understanding and it's very difficult to have that appreciation. So use the words, get to know all 34 talent themes so you can spot them in the wild. You can appreciate them in the wild, in your family, in your home, in strangers, at the natural grocers, everywhere you are. Spot strengths and celebrate strengths at work, at home, and everywhere else.

    Lisa: 

    Yes, mic drop. Okay, Brea, if someone needs your help because they cannot see the positive intent in somebody at home right now and they do want to use strengths at home and they want to coach with you, tell them how to work with you.

    Brea: 

    To be honest, I love working with teams and Couples and families are some of my favorite teams to work with because this is your reality every day. It's the most important team that you will ever, ever be a part of. So if you have an interest in doing some coaching with your spouse, with your kids, one of my favorite things ever is to come to your family reunion and do this with like your whole family. I know one client did that once and it was so great. So yeah, if you literally want to bring this home, I'd love to do that. Come to my website, schedule a call. We'll make it happen. Yeah, what about you, Lisa?

    Lisa: 

    Oh my gosh, who would ever know when I said, bring it home, Brea, you'd be like, yep, bringing it home all the way, literally.

    Brea: 

    Literally, I will come to your home if you want. Yeah.

    Lisa: 

    So for me, Lisa at Lead Through Strengths, You can go to the Get Coached link. We can do multiple people together on a call if you want, or if you want the confidential individual not shared with the other person version. Sometimes we need to start there as well. That is absolutely fine. We can honor the confidentiality fully while you get through the exploration and finding the fascinating, appreciative kind of part of things with someone.

    Brea: 

    Love it. All right. We're awesome. Work with us.

    Lisa: 

    Bring it home, Brea. Bring it home. Let's do our strengths. Strengths at home. Let's go. Let's go.

    Brea: 

    I'm still thinking about that, that family reunion. It was so awesome. They all got t-shirts and everybody put their number one strength on the back of their t-shirt. We did a big team grid that I blew up like super big.

    Lisa: 

    No, you didn't. Oh my gosh. I'm imagining family picnic vibes with games and things that we would do as team building events when they're out there with kids and balloons and Lego activities. Oh my gosh.

    Brea: 

    So fun. It's so fun.

“Your family is the most important team you will ever lead. Lead with strength! Lead with love.”
— Your Strengths Coach, Brea

MEET YOUR CO-HOSTS

BREA ROPER
Communication | Woo | Activator | Futuristic | Connectedness

If you need a Strengths Hype Girl, for yourself or your team, connect with Brea at brearoper.com. She’s ready to deliver an inspirational keynote, empowering training, or transformational workshop. If you’re looking for an expert guide to support your internal Strengths efforts, reach out today! 

LISA CUMMINGS
Strategic | Maximizer | Positivity | Individualization | Woo

To work with Lisa, check out team workshops and retreats at the Lead Through Strengths site. For 1:1 strengths or life coaching, check out the Get Coached link. For independent coaches, trainers, and speakers, get business tools support with our Tools for Coaches membership.


The Fine Print: This podcast is not sanctioned or endorsed by Gallup in any way. Opinions, views and interpretations of CliftonStrengths© are solely the beliefs of Lisa Cummings and Brea Roper.

Ep. 154 - Rethinking Time Management

"Where did the time go?" "If only I had more time!" If you're looking for productivity hacks or time management tips – this episode is for you.

We've all been there. We believe time is our most valuable resource. Unfortunately, this often leads to overwhelm and guilt when our expectations don't match reality. We don't accomplish as much as we thought we would, our "to do" list keeps growing, and discouragement creeps in.

What if there was more to time management than meets the eye? Is time truly our most valuable resource? Listen in as we rethink time management. 🌟

    1. Energy vs. Time: We often fall into the trap of thinking that if we just had more time, we could accomplish everything on our to-do list. However, as we discussed, even with the same 24 hours in a day, our energy levels can significantly impact our productivity. When we're feeling drained or unwell, even the simplest tasks can feel overwhelming. Instead of solely focusing on time management, we should prioritize managing our energy levels to maximize our effectiveness.

    2. Quality Over Quantity: It's not just about how much time we have; it's about how we use that time. When we're in a state of flow and high energy, we can accomplish tasks in a fraction of the time it would normally take. We encourage listeners to recognize when they're in that productive state and to allow themselves the flexibility to dive deep into tasks that energize them, rather than sticking rigidly to a time-blocked schedule.

    3. Know Your Energy Drains and Fuels: Understanding what drains your energy and what fuels it is crucial. We discussed the importance of being aware of our strengths and how working within those strengths can help us maintain our energy levels throughout the day. By identifying tasks that energize us and scheduling them during our peak energy times, we can create a more productive and fulfilling workday.

    • Assess Your Energy Levels: Regularly check in with yourself to determine your current energy levels. If youAsk yourself, "Given my energy level, what is the best use of my time?"

    • Identify Energy Drains and Fuels: Make a list of tasks or activities that drain your energy and those that fuel you. Schedule draining tasks during times when your energy is naturally higher, and plan to engage in energizing activities when you feel low..

    • Create Flexible Time Blocks: While time blocking can be effective, allow for flexibility in your schedule. If you find yourself in a productive flow, consider extending the time for that task instead of sticking rigidly to your planned blocks.

    • Leverage Your Strengths: Identify your strengths and find ways to incorporate them into your daily tasks. Engaging in work that aligns with your strengths can help maintain your energy levels and enhance productivity.

    • Further Reading: Check out the book Soar With Your Strengths by Dr. Clifton to learn more about the Five Clues to Talent.

  • Lisa:
    Hey, I'm Lisa. 

    Brea

    And I'm Brea. 

    Lisa

    And today's topic is time and energy. More specifically, this question. Is your time your most valuable resource? What say you, Brea?

    Brea

    No, absolutely not.

    Lisa

    I asked you knowing your answer. 

    Brea

    Also, hi everybody. How's it going? Here's the thing is that I'm going to tell you how I really feel because I feel really passionately about this. I hear it all the time from people. Time is your most valuable resource. I just don't think it's true. I just don't think it's true.

    Lisa

    You know, I'm guilty of even feeling it or perceiving it and thinking those thoughts where I'll be like, Oh, I wish I had more time. Oh, I'm out of time. Oh, there's I just need more time. Or I'm so overwhelmed. If I just had more hours, that feels like the solution is time. And if I asked myself the question philosophically, like we're doing on this podcast, I would tell myself, It's not. There are better ways to manage because ultimately, we're talking about time management, energy management, productivity, goal management. Those are usually the topics that surround this conversation about time. And it feels like a time management thing. And it feels like a solution for overwhelm is to magically get more hours.

    Brea

    Yes, I think we all fall into that trap of thinking that we need more time. If I only had more time, then I could fill in the blank. But Beyonce only has 24 hours a day. The president only has 24 hours a day. We all only have 24 hours a day. When you're sick, especially when you're sick as an entrepreneur, an hour is very, very valuable resource. Yes. But if you're sick and you don't have the energy to maximize that hour, that is such a huge detriment.

    Lisa

    I could just make a proof point with your energy management point. I've been sick lately and this sinus infection cold something or other has been getting me down. And I about, you know, two to three o'clock every day, I am getting extremely tired where I feel like I need to go to bed for the evening. I'm like, oh, don't take my hours. I need more hours. But actually, it absolutely proves your point. What is the problem when this is happening at two or three o'clock? I have no energy. And when I have no energy, everything moves at a different pace. And it is like Time is well, it's sort of like it's flying by because I don't have it to work But the truth is it's just energy if I had high energy and I were totally in flow I could get a ton accomplished and I would look up and be like, whoa I didn't know six hours passed by and I just accomplished the 40 things on my list But in when my energy is low or off it just brings this perception of time. That's totally different. It's like, oh, I wish I had more time or time feels so scarce. But how is it for you as far as time and energy and the way they might play with each other?

    Brea

    It's interesting to think about how just about how energy affects the quality of our time, right? Not just in managing our time well, but in how we approach that. So if we're in the flow, like you said, it's easy to lose track of time. That could also be a detriment to us though. If time management is our goal, right? If we lose track of time, then we're not really managing our time very well.

    Lisa

    Right?

    Brea

    So, yeah. So there's an element of, like, it's good when we've got a lot of energy, we can maximize our time, but only if we pair that with intentionality and good time management skills or whatever. So it's not just as simple as saying, you know, there's one solution.

    Lisa

    Yeah. Oh, quality. You just hit on the number one item. But then when you said flow, but what if you disrupted your flow because you were so intent on time management, and that you had only blocked 20 minutes for a given thing, that you disrupted the energy that you had for something, like sometimes it's actually great to clear your calendar and say, I am so in the flow and my energy is so directed positively toward this thing right now that I'm just going to give it the next eight hours because it's more than I could accomplish in six days combined. Because sometimes you're just feeling it. And when you are, you're writing your energy management really intelligently. And that is a way better way to look at productivity than totally time management. Yeah. Oh, so smart.

    Brea

    Well, you know, that's why they pay me the big bucks. Come on. Here's the thing about paying attention to the quality as well. When we don't have the energy, when we're feeling sick, when our energy is lower, we can get in our head about that, right? So our quality of time comes down, our productivity is lessened, it's challenged, because the whole time that we're doing the thing, we're thinking, oh my gosh, I just really don't feel good. Just go take a nap, just go take a nap, okay? Do whatever you need to do, Because otherwise, we're getting in our own way. And so I think when we feel better, we do better, right? Isn't that what we always say?

    Lisa

    Yeah, there's the Brea-ism right there. And I think it makes your point really well to the energy management, time management conversation. Because if I were thinking through the lens of time management, which I am guilty of having done in these last days of feeling like this, I am like, ugh, I just need to get through two hours of work to get the bare minimum accomplished to answer customers' questions or whatever. But actually, if I would stop and think of energy management, I would go take the nap. And then maybe 30 minutes later, I would have rejuvenated myself so that I could get three, four more hours of time where I'm feeling decent, and my brain's working better. And it is always a worthy thing to stop and look at and say, am I only managing time? What if I managed energy? What would it look like right now? And if you're aiming toward a certain goal, certain productivity, or just literally, like, what are those four critical things that have to get done? If you ask yourself, I look at this through the energy management lens, what would happen right now? You're gonna have solutions that you wouldn't otherwise.

    Brea

    So this is so, so interesting what you're bringing up. You know, the coach in me asks the question, well, why do you think you need two hours to do these things? And I'm going to do the non-coach thing and I'm going to answer my own question. I think it's probably because in the past, when you've been at full health, It has taken you about two hours. You know, you know about the time that it takes to do the emails or whatever it is that you need to do for your customers, but you're not in good health. you're not the same as you were yesterday or, you know, are usually. And so it might actually take longer. So are we expecting things of ourselves when when we're not setting ourselves up for success by filling our energy tank? Right. We're setting us up to fail because we're expecting things of ourselves that we can't deliver and we know we can't deliver. But we're allowing the past to dictate now. And it's just so sad. Why do we do that to ourselves?

    Lisa

    This is so true. I was feeling guilty yesterday for the lack of productivity and it's exactly what you just said. I have an expectation of myself of what it could take, should take, normally takes, and it isn't taking that. And then I am feeling guilty because I'm not getting it out in the time that I expected. So now I'm not meeting my own expectations. And I always talk to people about conflict where the lack of alignment with expectations is what is a root of conflict. And now you just explained it in a way where it's like, yes, this is the conflict you're having inside of your brain with yourself because you're not meeting your own expectations.

    Brea

    Totally. And I think it stems from the days when I know I've worked in positions where I'm compensated on an hourly rate, right? I have to account for my time because that's how I get paid is by the hour.

    Lisa

    Oh, interesting thought. Like a root. Like goes back to the first jobs you have often are hourly and therefore you train yourself in this way from the beginning.

    Brea

    Right. I mean, I have not worked an hourly job, you know, or been paid an hourly rate for a long time. But there is, I think, still that root in many of us that it should only take one hour or it should only take two hours because we we have to move fast. You know, we have to get so many things done. We have to, like, fill our hours. You know, Lisa, I know this about you. I know that you try to work a three day work week. as much as you can. And that is so amazing. And so I can imagine it would feel very challenging to see, gosh, I just can't work as fast or I can't work at my capacity that I normally do because you have such a limited number of hours that you're working anyway, right?

    Lisa

    Yeah, not to mention, if you take what you just said and then add on the fact that if you are ill, Adding each of those three days and turning them into 12-day work, 12-hour work days is not going to happen because your body is going to say, no, thanks. And then also that I am a time blocker. My time management style is time blocking. And I typically account for every waking hour of my day with things on my calendar blocked out, usually three weeks in advance, what I'm doing every hour of every day, not on the weekends, but I block out big chunks of time for things. Like if we're going on a camping trip like we are this weekend, it's not going to break down the activities inside of it, but it is one giant chunk already taken. So when I manage my time like that, it doesn't give me a lot of movement with energy flow. If I need double the amount of hours for something, I've kind of put myself in a box for those next two or three weeks where my time is already accounted for. So then I have to go through those future couple of weeks and push things that are non-critical. And then I get sad that I'm doing that. So that's the reality of how it shows up for me.

    Brea

    Yes. Yeah, so, okay, so this is all great in theory, you know, we're shining some light on some areas where we can improve. Where do we go from here? What are the answers?

    Lisa

    Well, some of it is just a realistic question, like the one you answered. Like, even if I said to myself, given the energy I have, or am likely to have today, what is the best use of this time? That's one question I asked myself yesterday and reprioritize the order in which I was doing things. So it was kind of like energy management in a way that was Hey, I've been getting really tired at 3 p.m. So, well, it's noon. I have three hours left. What is most critical? And what can I do while I'm riding this energy wave? So, that's one thing I would offer. Another one would be looking at drains. Like, we've talked a million times about our strengths and weaknesses theories here where, If you're working out of your strengths, they make you feel stronger. If you're working out of your weaknesses, they weaken you. And that corresponds with energy. Strengths work feels strong and energetic. Weakness area work feels weak. weak and de-energizing. So if you find things that are, that you're procrastinating, that you don't want to do, noticing those and not trying to do them when high energy is called for.

    Brea

    Yep, I love it. So what is the best use of this time? I think that's such a great question, and I love this question because it's so simple. It aligns with the way that we typically approach time management, right? We say, what is the outcome, right? What am I trying to do? And then how do I best use my time to make sure that I get there, right? That I can accomplish the task. So what if we think about our energy in the same way where we say, okay, what is the outcome that I'm looking for? And where's my energy level right now? So what's the best use of this time? not just from a productivity time, but from a time perspective, but from an energy perspective as well. I think adding that lens is so key. Great. And then what are your energy drains? If you're feeling drained, being aware of that, and then also being aware of what fuels you so that you can either fill up your energy before you go into a draining task or a draining time of day, right? If you know that you know, come three o'clock, you're tapping out, then either plan to be tapped out and go to the gym, right, or go do something that fuels you. But definitely, if you know that you're drained at three o'clock, why are we scheduling meetings or saving our boring, like, emails and admins for that time? Like, That's a misalignment of managing our energy and managing our time, right?

    Lisa

    So there's another kind of physical element to it as well. If I can work outside and sit outside, I'll have more energy than being under LED lights inside of an office space. So a lot of those physical elements can come into play too.

    Brea

    Totally. So now you're tapping into different types of energy, different sources of energy, right? are physical, are spiritual, are intellectual, relational, and emotional. Those are all five areas where we can gain and drain and it's important to be paying attention to all of them. And I think I mean, this is Lead Through Strengths podcast. We are talking about, you know, strengths and talent. And the reason that we're talking about energy management through that lens is because our talent clues us in to how we are energized or how our energy is drained. And so if you can stay plugged in to your talents all day, then you have that juice. You're plugging into your talents, even in times where the task itself might be draining, or the person that you're with is draining for you, or the environment, the place that you're in is draining for you. If you can plug into your talents, then the juice is still flowing. Even if it's draining faster, it still is plugged in, so it'll drain a little bit slower. And I think that's a huge mindset shift when it comes to how we look at energy, because most of the time we wake up in the morning, we expect that our little energy batteries are going to be full because we've just slept. But I mean, I don't know about you, I don't always wake up with a full battery. But even if we did, we kind of walk through life thinking we'll wake up full and then we just allow ourselves to drain all day. And then we sleep and fill up again and then we do it all over. But why? When we can stay plugged in to the source of our energy. And that's what knowing our strengths helps us do.

    Lisa

    Mm hmm. I think that's a beautiful way to wrap it up. I mean, you brought all of those elements of energy into focus for people that they probably haven't thought of in ages. So I think that tees up perfectly if they want to work with you and explore more of those kind of elements of their energy. How would someone coach with you?

    Brea

    I'd love to coach with you. I'd also love to share my energy. I think that's another thing about strengths is that when we are living from our places of strength, we are energizing to others. All the hot coals, they burn hotter when they're together in the fire. So come to my website, www.brearoper.com. Schedule a call.

    Lisa

    Beautiful. And if you'd like to work with me, Lisa, go over to www.leadthroughstrengths.com and you can go right to the Get Coached link and book a session there. All right, I'll go off and hopefully you can leave this podcast episode and go get that energy recharging up so that it gets to be 2X powerful.

    Brea

    It's so funny. It's like the more it goes out, the stronger it becomes. If we can look to our talents, we'll recognize that the more you pour out of your strengths, the more full you feel, you know, the more fueled you become. So live your strengths, people. Let's do it.

    Lisa

    Yes, rechargeable batteries. Beautiful.

Hard work doesn’t have to feel hard. Tap into the power of your personality for more energy, stronger relationships, & meaningful progress.
— Brea Roper, Your Strengths Coach

MEET YOUR CO-HOSTS

BREA ROPER
Communication | Woo | Activator | Futuristic | Connectedness

If you need a Strengths Hype Girl, for yourself or your team, connect with Brea at brearoper.com. She’s ready to deliver an inspirational keynote, empowering training, or transformational workshop. If you’re looking for an expert guide to support your internal Strengths efforts, reach out today! 

LISA CUMMINGS
Strategic | Maximizer | Positivity | Individualization | Woo

To work with Lisa, check out team workshops and retreats at the Lead Through Strengths site. For 1:1 strengths or life coaching, check out the Get Coached link. For independent coaches, trainers, and speakers, get business tools support with our Tools for Coaches membership.


The Fine Print: This podcast is not sanctioned or endorsed by Gallup in any way. Opinions, views and interpretations of CliftonStrengths© are solely the beliefs of Lisa Cummings and Brea Roper.

Ep. 153 - You're So Good At That!

Receiving compliments is difficult for most of us. But did you know compliments could actually be clues to your greatest talents? It’s true! Areas where you see natural glimpses of excellence are likely your greatest areas of potential. So, the next time you hear someone say, "You're so good at that!" or “You’re a rock star!”, stand a little taller. Let your strengths shine in the spotlight!

In this episode we explore:

  • how easy it is to overlook our own strengths because we’re so close to them.

  • the difference between skills and talents

  • the importance of feedback

So, get ready to embrace your inner rock star! It’s time to let your strengths shine.🌟

    1. Skills and Talents are not the same. Understand that skills can be learned and practiced, while talents are innate. You’ve either got it, or you don’t. Reflect on whether you enjoy what you’re good at, as this can help you identify true talents.

    2. Compliments can be clues to talent. Pay attention to the compliments you’ve received, awards you’ve won, and times people have asked for your help with something. These moments of recognition and praise are shining a light on your areas of excellence. Pay attention and lean into your greatest areas of potential for greatness. 

    3. Embrace Feedback: Don’t shy away from asking others what you’re good at. Feedback can be a powerful tool for self-discovery and can help you see strengths that you may not recognize in yourself.

    • Identify Your Strengths: Reflect on moments when people have complimented you with phrases like "You're so good at that." Take note of these instances as clues to your talents and strengths.

    • Explore Your Skills vs. Talents: Consider the difference between skills and talents in your own life. Ask yourself if you enjoy the activities that people recognize you for, and whether they energize you or feel like a chore.

    • Seek Feedback: Don’t hesitate to ask colleagues, friends, or family for feedback on what they think you excel at. Use this feedback to gain insights into your strengths.

    • Utilize Resources: Visit leadthroughstrengths.com/moreof to access a list of potential strengths and talents. Look for items that resonate with you and explore how you can incorporate them into your life or work.

    • Consider Job Shaping: If you find that people frequently ask for your help in a specific area that you enjoy, discuss with your manager the possibility of incorporating more of that work into your role. This can help align your job with your strengths and passions.

    • S.T.O.P.: When faced with tasks that drain your energy, consider the STOP method: Stop, Trade, Offer it up, or Partner. This can help you manage your workload while still contributing effectively.

    • Further Reading: Check out the book Soar With Your Strengths by Dr. Clifton to learn more about the Five Clues to Talent, including the topic of this podcast: Excellence.

  • Lisa:
    Hi, I'm Lisa. 

    Brea

    I'm Brea.

    Lisa

    And today's topic is, you're so good at that. 

    Brea

    You're a rock star. 

    Lisa

    Cues up the Smash Mouth song for you. 

    Brea

    Hey, now. you're a rock star. 

    Lisa

    Get your game on, go play. 

    Brea

    There you go.

    Lisa

    I think this phrase that we picked You're so good at that. This is one that anyone in the audience can listen for. It's not like you hear it all day, every day, but there are things that people comment on. And maybe small, like, you know that I love the word dang, because it's a Texan in me. So, I mean, I've been at work where another person is in a meeting with someone else and someone does something and they're like, dang. It's just, it's those little comments. It doesn't have to be formal. But it could be, it could be that they call you out and they write a kudos note to your boss, but it can also just be when someone's like, oh, you know, making the sound effects on something that you're working on. And those are the clues. Those really are moments where you should take stock and go, Oh, people really like this one. What was that? And that was easy for me. I should do more of this.

    Brea

    Yeah. And I love how you're bringing up, we're just so close to our talents. When people say that, when they're like, Oh, dang, you know, that's amazing. You're a rock star. Like what? Like it's hard. Wait, that's a thing. What are you talking about? I mean, I know sometimes I don't even hear it, or maybe I don't realize that they're talking about me because I didn't do anything that would prompt that response. Right. It's like, wait, Me? 

    Lisa

    Yes. You are so good at so many things. You're going to have to brag about some things today because this is the episode topic. It's required.

    Brea

    All right. But I'm going to put you on the spot first. Can you think of a time recently maybe that someone said that to you? Gosh, Lisa, you are so good at that.

    Lisa

    Well, today I held one of our monthly tools for coaching calls and they were like, oh my gosh you're so good at this how do you connect all the things you make you have to make the thing but then you have to link to the thing and then you have to have an e-commerce and you have to have a payment processor and you have to put it on your website and there are all these parts and it just seems so overwhelming and as I was breaking it down they would be like oh my gosh I'm a head-splitting emoji and those moments feel really good Because if you're good at something, and you just think it's no big deal, like I actually didn't start tools for coaches for a long time, because I didn't realize how helpful it would be to people because that stuff isn't difficult for me. And it's pretty fun.

    Brea

    Yeah. Too easy. It's just sitting right there. 

    Lisa

    Yeah. So it just didn't seem like a thing. And now I realize when you can do something where people are saying, you are so good at that. Oh, this is so generous of you. Oh, my gosh, you're blowing my mind. It's just the perfect alignment for anyone in life. If you can do something for work that other people really are loving receiving. It's it's so cool. So, yeah. Thank you for asking.

    Brea

    Thanks for sharing.

    Lisa

    Yes. You're making me think of the difference between skills and talents. And I think because you, Brea, are such a good singer and you have the skill of it, then is that a natural talent? Is that a God-given thing? Is it something that you nurtured? Is it a talent plus skill because you actually worked on it and turned it into something? Do you like it because you're good at it? Are you good at it because you like it? Can you break that down for us and take your singing example and just walk us through how you feel like that relates to talents and skills and all the elements for you?

    Brea

    Interesting. Interesting. To borrow one of Lisa's words. It's so interesting. Yeah. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Yeah. So with singing, you're right. There is a skill of singing. Anyone can learn to sing. You can learn how to match pitch. You can learn how to breathe. You can learn the proper posture. You can learn how to read music. I mean, all the things are skills that can be learned. And you can practice it. You can practice in the shower. You can practice in the car. You can join a choir. There are so many different ways to invest and practice that skill. But when we look at the formula that Gallup gives us for strength, we talk about talent multiplied by investment. That's all the practice. That's the knowledge and all that equals strength. So talent is really like literally the X factor. It's the multiplier. Talent times investment equals strength. And I think that when people remark about my singing, I don't think they're remarking about my skill, to be honest. I think they're remarking about the talent, because, I mean, we can all imagine, everyone listening, just imagine you are at a concert, you're at church, you're somewhere where there are two singers standing side by side on the stage, and they both sing on their own, one at a time, they sing the same song, The exact same notes, the exact same everything, right? Everything is the same. But it's different because it's two different people singing it. Literally, their voice sounds different. There could be excellence in the skill. They could both, you know, put in the same amount of practice and both be very, very excellent. They're on pitch the entire time and all the things. But if one has a communication talent, There's something that draws you in, you know? And I think most of the time when people comment about my singing, it's at church. And I think the reason is because I'm praying. I'm like in conversation. My communication is literally communicating. Or the church songs, they're stories. They're just perfect for the communication talent. I think that's the difference is talent is the X factor. It's the secret sauce. Sometimes coaches will say it's not the what, it's the how you do it. I think that's so true when we look at musicians or when we look at athletes or we look at artists, it's apparent. Two people can draw the same thing or paint the same thing or do the same floor routine at the Olympics, but the way they do it is different.

    Lisa

    You're also making me think about how this happens at work, too, because you see someone who's so into it. I mean, it could actually be someone who works at natural grocers and they're just into it in the cashier line. And so someone who's really feeling it, you can't help but be drawn in by them and thinking, oh, you're so good at this or you were born for this. When you were describing singers instantly, I was thinking of my favorite Chris's Chris Stapleton for country and

    Brea

    Come on. Love Chris Stapleton.

    Lisa

    Okay, take him. Stapleton, there's so much feel in his voice. I actually remember one of my music teachers once was like, this song is not the incredible masterpiece you think it is. It's actually Because his voice is so good and he's selling it so great. You're invested in it and you don't even realize it's a basic song. And that totally just resonates with what you were talking about with the communication talent thing. You are in the story with him. He is pulling you in. And if I got to hear you at church, I imagine it would be the same thing. You're so invested in it that I am feeling it through you, you're you become a vehicle for me to do better. Just because I'm watching something that you're so good at. And now I'm able to up level my game because I'm around you. And I can experience something or understand something that I couldn't if you weren't in the room.

    Brea

    That's why communication is an influencing talent, right? Because it spurs you to action. It evokes emotion. There's an influence there. And it's not just the talent of communication. I think every talent can have influence when there's this excellence, when you're in the flow, when you're enjoying it, when you've invested in the talent and it's mature and it's just rocking. It is a rock star. Every talent can at its best have that effect of influence.

    Lisa

    Yeah. Actually, you just sparked for me another example, a customer example. I had this guy that in his organization, he was known as the bubble chart guy. And he led through analytical and he loved making charts. I mean, a chart about everything. And he was really proud of the fact that he could figure out how to show things that others in the organization couldn't really figure out. Yeah. So every meeting they were like, Oh, is he coming? And there was a time when he didn't even have a name. People just knew him as the bubble chart guy. And he's like, oh my gosh, I need to work on my branding. Everybody only knows me for my bubbles. But that was a great example of something so different because I think people could hear communication and say, oh, well, this sounds like a special gift, but mine are all thinking themes or mine are all something else. Well, there you go. Analytical. It's a strategic thinking theme. And he was beloved, well known, respected, and people absolutely use those words. You are so good at that. Then once he realized how much people loved it, it became a thing. And then it got built into dashboards and other people were able to do the same kind of great predictions because he created a system that somebody else could draft off of. So I love how talents are like that as well, where when someone says, you're so good at that, you actually can then make a big contribution to your life, to your organization, to the people around you, if you'll stop and take notice and realize that means people want more of that. And if you offered it to them, you're giving them something they couldn't have without you.

    Brea

    Yeah, that's a clue that you can look for. What do people come to you for because you do it so well?

    Lisa

    Sometimes if you're in the right environment, when people come to you and say, I really need your help with this because you're so good at it. And if you're overwhelmed, you could even resent that. There are times when people say, I don't want to be known as good at things, but noticing the ones that people ask for your help on and you're thrilled to give the help and you realize, oh, I just offered my help for two extra hours and now I need to work even later, but I lost track of time during those two hours because they were so fun. Those are all good things to log in as clues.

    Brea

    It's so true that sometimes people come up to you and they say, hey, can you do this for me or can you help me with this because you do it so well? I think we respond both ways. Like you said, we might be so excited to help them with that. Sure, no problem. I got it. Or, oh gosh, I just feel so overwhelmed and I don't want to be known for this because I don't want to have to do it all the time. your response to that question is a clue to talent. Because if you're known for it, if you do it with excellence, but you don't enjoy it, right? You're like, I just don't want to be known for this because I don't want to have to do it all the time. Even though I'm really good at it, I don't really love it. It doesn't bring me energy. It's not something that I want to fill my plate with. Then it's probably a skill. it's probably something that you've learned how to do well, and it may not be a clue to talent. And so with all of these clues to talent that we've talked about in the past several episodes, it's important to not look at them in isolation only, but to see when are they converging? Like in your example, Lisa, about the tools for coaches, there was ease, there was energy, there was excitement, there was excellence. They were all present. So that tells us Yes, there's talent here and this is not just a skill that I've learned.

    Lisa

    What a good nuance you just brought up. I think also there are a lot of people who would say if people keep asking me to do a certain thing and I do like it, Yet I don't have time because if I add those two hours to the day, now I'm in my family flow time. I'm in trouble with my family. That gives you another element to be considering for job shaping. Can you talk to your manager? If you're saying, Hey, people are coming to me for this. There's something I want to provide that other people need. I would love to expand this area of contribution in my role. Can we make room for this so that it could be a thing? Because if you let that happen and you get known for a thing you love doing and you can build it into the job description and get it sanctioned, if you will, or build the time in for it, now you're starting to craft your role more and more towards strengths every day. That could be another way to work that situation.

    Brea

    I love that. And also, you're reminding me of of the acronym STOP. So this is something that you can use in talent development with all the clues to talent. If you don't want to do it, then you just either stop doing it. S stands for stop. But sometimes we can't. Sometimes we have to do things that we don't want to do. So T stands for trade. If someone comes to you and says, hey, can you do this for me? Well, sure. But can you do this for me? Can we trade tasks? Right. I think that's a great a great response at times. O stands for offer it up. Sometimes you just got to do it. You just got to like go for it. You know, you just got to put your head down and make it happen. And P stands for partner. So sometimes if you're feeling overwhelmed, if the excellence isn't there, maybe this isn't an area of talent for you, then partner with someone who does have that talent. If you can't trade it because it is something that you have to be a part of, then find a partner with the talent that you need to come and do it with excellence. And then together, you're gonna be stronger and you'll get a better result.

    Lisa

    That's a good one. All right, I'll give a final tool or resource if you are listening and you're like, Okay, I still don't know what I'm good at. No one has said you're so good at that to me lately. I have a list for you at leadthroughstrengths.com slash more of And it is just a big old list of things that might call to you that you might want more of that you're really good at. And why just go to this list and look for things that pop out at you. And they are it's everything from I would love more of suggesting solutions. I would love more of poking the bear. I would love more of finding truths. I would love more of assuring quality. It's a list of all kinds of things. And look for the ones that really jump out at you, that are screaming at you saying, yeah, go get more of this. And that will give you some direction to explore if you don't feel like you're getting the feedback from the people around you.

    Brea

    And don't be afraid to ask for feedback. Feedback is not a four-letter word. Feedback can be very positive too. So don't be afraid to… to ask people what you're good at. Let them hype you up. And if you've taken the CliftonStrengths assessment, go and read through that report. It is your personal hype person on paper. Paper hype.

    Lisa

    We know people are going to want an in-person hype girl. So we're going to have to tell them how to work with you as well. Definitely go to your paper hype person. And then if you decide you want to work with a real hype girl live and in person, you've got to go to Brea. So Brea, tell them more about working with you.

    Brea

    Yeah, so brearoper.com is my website. Schedule a call and I will for sure remind you what is good and I promise to see things in you that you don't even see in yourself. I know you will. Lisa, how can they work with you?

    Lisa

    Let's go this show with a link to the Tools for Coaches membership because we were talking about it earlier. So, leadthroughstrengths.com slash tools You can also just go to the website, click on Tools for Coaches right in the top navigation. But if you're a coach, speaker, trainer, author type and you have an independent business and You want to do all those things that I was talking about earlier that are easy for me, the building the templates and the tools and the connections and the software. Holler at me. We have a really fun membership where we get together every month and I share all the things that I've built in the business so that you don't have to spend 10 years doing it like I did. 

    Brea

    Amazing. Wow. This is a long conversation, but it was, shall I say, easy and enjoyable. energizing and maybe even some glimpses of excellence.

    Lisa

    I mean, you're so good at that. That's why. 

    Brea

    I love it. All right. Well, how do we get out of here? 

    Lisa

    I'm going to go back to the Brea line. Hard work doesn't have to be so hard. That is what we were talking about today. That thing that is you're so good at that you can be excellent at it and other people can want it and even want to pay you for it.

    Brea

    Oh, and with that, folks, we are out. Have a great week, everybody.

Remember, hard work doesn’t have to feel hard. Aligned with your strengths, it actually feels easy, energizing, and fun!
— Love, Brea

MEET YOUR CO-HOSTS

BREA ROPER
Communication | Woo | Activator | Futuristic | Connectedness

If you need a Strengths Hype Girl, for yourself or your team, connect with Brea at brearoper.com. She’s ready to deliver an inspirational keynote, empowering training, or transformational workshop. If you’re looking for an expert guide to support your internal Strengths efforts, reach out today! 

LISA CUMMINGS
Strategic | Maximizer | Positivity | Individualization | Woo

To work with Lisa, check out team workshops and retreats at the Lead Through Strengths site. For 1:1 strengths or life coaching, check out the Get Coached link. For independent coaches, trainers, and speakers, get business tools support with our Tools for Coaches membership.


The Fine Print: This podcast is not sanctioned or endorsed by Gallup in any way. Opinions, views and interpretations of CliftonStrengths© are solely the beliefs of Lisa Cummings and Brea Roper.

Ep. 152 - Doing What You Love

"They" say we spend over 30% of our life at work. For some of us over-achieving, workaholics burning the candle at both ends, that percentage is likely even higher.

If we're spending over a third of our lives working, shouldn't we love what we do? We think so! That's why in this episode, we talk about another one of the "5 Clues to Talent": Satisfaction. Come join us!

    1. Identify What You Love
      What brings you joy and satisfaction in your daily activities is a clue to your innate talent! Maybe it's the opportunity to learn, the sense of accomplishment when completing a task, coming up with creative ideas, collaborating with others…or something else. Whatever it is, understanding what you love to do. and why, can lead to a more fulfilling life – at work and home.

    2. Feel better. Do better.
      When you operate from a place of joy and fulfillment, you feel better yourself, and make more significant contributions to those around you. A win-win! By focusing on doing what you love and leveraging your strengths, you can enhance your overall well-being and positively impact your relationships and work performance. Remember, hard work doesn't have to feel hard. You can actually enjoy what you do.

    3. Finding what you don’t love to do is not the same as finding what you do enjoy.
      Sure, making a list of what we didn’t like about a task or activity can help us avoid those things in the future. But it won’t necessarily lead you to what you do enjoy. And you deserve a life that’s more than simply avoiding what you don't like. You deserve to thrive!  

    • Identify what you enjoy, and why. Pull out your calendar/planner and review the past two weeks of tasks. Identify the things you particularly enjoyed, experienced deep satisfaction, or were just plain fun. What specifically did you enjoy about these activities? Why did you enjoy those things? Reflecting on the reasons why certain activities or tasks bring you joy to apply that knowledge more broadly in other areas of your life.

    • Make it fun! When looking at your present or future tasks and opportunities, practice the self-coaching question: "How can I make this more fun?" or "What could I do to enjoy this task a little more?" Your answer should help you align your talent with the task, resulting in a stronger outcome. Don’t limit yourself to challenging situations. Things that are already enjoyable can always be more fun! 🙂

    • Further Reading: Check out the book Soar With Your Strengths by Dr. Clifton to learn more about the Five Clues to Talent, including this week’s topic: Satisfaction.

  • LISA
    Hey, I'm Lisa. 

    BREA

    And I'm Brea. 

    LISA

    And today's topic is doing what you love, living your best life, having some fun.

    BREA

    Having lots of fun. Life is too short to not have fun, isn't it? 

    LISA

    Absolutely. 

    BREA

    You know, they, the proverbial they, say that we spend over a third of our lives at work. That's crazy, Lisa. A third of your life?

    LISA

    Well, and likewise, you get a third of your life in your sleep. So what's left over?

    BREA

    Well, laundry is left. Grocery shopping is left. Chores are left. Cleaning, you know, and that's what we squeeze into the early morning hours or the late night hours or the weekends is not necessarily stuff that we enjoy. So if most of the time is at work, why not enjoy it? 

    LISA

    Yes

    BREA

    I think this is so foundational what we're talking about today, the clue to talent satisfaction. So what do you enjoy? What makes you happy? What? What satisfies you and why? Why is that satisfying for you? Is it the process or is it looking at the finished product? And what about the finished product is satisfying? Is it that it's done? Like Achiever loves to finish the thing. Or is it satisfying to look at the finished product because it's aesthetically pleasing? Or what is it? What is it about that finished product that's satisfying? And that's what clues us in to our talents. And when we can get that micro in understanding how our talents are working and how they're showing up, then we can start applying that intentionally in all the places. And that's when we can really change our lives.

    LISA

    Yes. And I think that it's easy for people to call out what they don't want more of. Here's what I dislike. Here's what I wouldn't like to do more of. Here's what I want to get rid of. Yet we're really missing this clue to talent of what do you love doing? What did you find attractive about that thing? what was satisfying about it for you. And then anytime you can make a connection to your values, preferences, motivations, CliftonStrengths talent themes, all of it, they just help you process why you love it so you can get more of that. And I think the reason you want to get more of that is because it makes you feel alive, because it allows you to show up at your best, because it unleashes your contributions to the world. Do you view that similarly or differently?

    BREA

    100% yes. Yes, yes, yes. You're right. It's so easy for us to just focus on what's wrong or what we don't like or whatever. And so it does take a little bit of hard work to figure out what is it about this thing that I do love But when we do that, gosh, that's what strength focused development, positive psychology, that's what this is about, right? Because when we look at where we messed up or if we look at what we didn't love, we could make a list. Easy, easy. of a hundred different things that we didn't love about it. And how does that help us? Well, it helps us avoid those in the future, but it doesn't direct us to what will make us happy. And it's so much easier to just take a few minutes and figure out, well, what did I love about that? and then you identified it and then it's like, okay, well, let's go get more of that and problem solved, right? Then we're not living in this life of just avoiding things that don't make us happy or that we don't do well, but we're focused on what does and then we get all of those positive benefits for ourselves and for others.

    LISA

    So agree with that. And it really does take conscious effort. I mean, that's clearly why it doesn't happen, because we tend to be overstimulated, overscheduled. We're so busy. Well, why we why we're the boss of our lives. And we're also the literal boss of ourselves. We get to choose. We all have that agency over our lives. If we're not doing what we love, we're choosing to not do. what we love. We could at least, all of us, every person listening, including the two of us, we can do more of what we love than we did yesterday.

    BREA

    Yeah, and it's not selfish. We're not focusing on what we love just so that you can focus on yourselves all the time and make it all about you. It really does impact those around you. And when you show up at your best, then you're contributing more. You're giving your best self to the people around you, to the workplace, to your customers, to your clients. And people want to be around you. You're strengthening your relationships with other people because I mean, if I had to choose between being with someone who was happy and someone who was just grumbling all the time, I would prefer to be with someone who's in a good mood and having a good day.

    LISA

    Oh, I thought of two things that sparked off of that. One is, how many times when I was in talent development departments in big corporate and we used to do these annual talent reviews, And how often a person would come up where they're like, oh, he's just a really good guy, really good to be around, really good to work with. Does that say anything about that person's results? Nope. But it got noted that that person's easy to work with, fun to work with, great to be around, probably because they do more of what they love. And so that whole energy that you feel from that person has a ripple effect on the culture, on the team, and people notice it even when they don't want to.

    BREA

    Yeah, I love that.

    LISA

    And then also I thought of this person. Her name is Jackie. Shout out to Jackie if you're here. She is somebody that I met way back when, when I was going through my MBA program. And I remember when we graduated, she landed her dream job in a compliance role. And it was one of my biggest insights about doing what you love because as she described her compliance role, I was literally thinking in the inside voice, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew. But I was like, you know, what's so great about this is that if other people do what they love, we're all contributing things that the world needs. And a lot of times, other people want that from you or need that from you. And they'd prefer to not be the one doing it. Like I'm so happy that I don't need to be in a compliance role because there's a Jackie out there who loves being in a compliance role. So that gets to the lack of selfishness thing that if you really tap into what you're great at, how you live your best life, doing what you love, showing up at your best, You're contributing something that somebody else doesn't want to do.

    BREA

    Oh my gosh. I love this so much. When I was in grade school, I remember so clearly being in class and the teacher would always ask for volunteers to read aloud. You know, we're in the textbook and they're like, who wants to read paragraph, whatever. And of course, I mean, communication is my number one. It always has been my number one. It is It's how I show up in the world with my mouth wide open. And so of course, as soon as I hear her saying, does anybody want, I mean, I know what's coming and my hand is just straight up in the air. I'm like, I want to read out loud. And over time, as I grew, I realized, no, Brea, you should let other people have an opportunity to read out loud, too, because it's so fun. Of course, everybody else wants to do it and you shouldn't, you know, hog it, you know, like give everybody else a chance. Isn't that how we think? 

    LISA

    Oh my gosh, yes. This is such a great one. The one where you actually feel yourself in your inside voice as an adult. You would be feeling that feeling of the little kid raising the hand going, pick me, pick me, pick me. Oh, I hope they call on me. That's the doing what you love part.

    BREA

    Yes, but I learned to silence the voice because I told myself because it's so fun for me, it has to be so fun for other people and I should let other people get a turn. But what I didn't realize is it could be fun for me and not be fun for other people. Like most of the people in the class didn't want to. And so I'm just sitting there letting other people take a turn, but then no one else volunteers. And so it's a lose-lose for everybody.

    LISA

    That is another great way to look at clues to talent. Okay, Joe Darin, as a fellow strengths coach, and I remember him saying, I remember him saying something about seeing the shine in someone else's eyes. And it's either that it's like that sparkle that was in your voice when you were reading, because you're like, I'm going to make this colorful, and it's fun. And they could see that pop in you. And so I think That is a way to catch it in yourself. It's a way to see others when they're doing what they love to notice it and say, Oh, you're so good at that. And. I also think simultaneously that it was mature of you to notice you might be hogging it. This certainly happens at work where someone doesn't want to sound like the one who's always talking over people in meetings. And there are ways to still work around that. So you can maximize doing what you love.

    BREA

    Yeah, and I think it bears repeating that learning about our talents and just even learning language from an assessment like CliftonStrengths, learning what talents there are and what the talents do and what the talents enjoy is so helpful because we don't know what we don't know. And until I understood that it was fun for me to read out loud, because of my talents. That's my strength. And other people have different talents. Until I had that awareness and understanding, I didn't have the freedom to really engage with them or to hold them back. Holding them back was from a place of fear or from a place of negativity of some kind, instead of the freedom to say, look, I really want to make this contribution. It would be really fun for me to be the one to read out loud. But I also know that Lisa loves to read out loud. And so I'm going to invite her to do that. Then we're we're holding back our talents from a positive stance, you know, from a place of strength. Yes.

    LISA

    I think you're picking up on this thing that you and I have talked about in the past about the why being such an important exploration of this, not just the surface level, what you love, but why you love it, because we could both love reading out loud and for completely different reasons. So understanding why can really, can really shed some light on how you feel. Okay, now this isn't work related, but earlier we discovered we both liked board games and we didn't take the conversation any further. So I wonder if we could pick out some differences about what you love about a board game and what I love about a board game and use it as a way to shed some light on how different people's talents and values might color what they love, even though the outward end result, I love board games, being the same.

    BREA 

    I mean, for me, my absolute favorite game to play, absolutely hands down, is Taboo because it's all talking. That's it, right? It's just words. But in general, word games are attractive to me, right? That's much more attractive than, oh, like, don't ever ask me to play Settlers of Catan or Risk. No thanks.

    LISA

    Okay, now we both lead through communication in our top, so we are going to have some similarities here. I do love the word games. I love Taboo. I love Balderdash. I love this or that games, but I always want to make up my own rules and be like, but why? Say more about what your preference is.

    BREA

    Hashtag individualization. We love it.

    LISA

    I love board games. Most of all, because I'm doing something with a group. I like the human element of board games a lot. If there's a structured activity that gets conversation flowing and gets something going, especially if there's a physical element, I'm totally in.

    BREA

    So I'm hearing some similarities. I think Relationships, definitely any game that allows us to come together and play. If it's a getting to know you type of game, a party game or something where I get to learn more about the people and the game is just kind of the vehicle, you know, to enjoy that experience. A hundred percent favorite. I'm just playing the game. You know, I'm also not competitive. We're just playing it and and talking, you know and sharing life while we're we're playing the game

    LISA

    So I think you're bringing up another one for me that I hadn't thought of. Duh.  Competition is high for me and I like to win and like winning and hyping but I also like cheering people on and it's like I'm fine. I'm not a sore loser at all with games. I just love cheering on a person. But if I'm not good at Euchre and I'm not good at Trivial Pursuit because I'm a bad memorizer, I don't really want to play it as my first choice because I'm not going to have a chance of winning.

    BREA

    I would also say maybe that's a little bit of your maximizer, don't you think? Heck yeah. Yeah. Yeah, like you know what you're good at, you know what you can win. I always joke Maximizers are always good at everything they do because they don't do anything that they're not good at.

    LISA

    Hey, we're talking about doing what you love, getting more of the good, getting less of the bad.

    BREA

    When you played sports, did you enjoy team sports or individual sports?

    LISA

    Both. Both. Totally. And I also didn't get into things that I wasn't good at. If I knew I had no potential in that area, it was just gone. Basketball, when I was in sixth grade and I was the tallest kid in the whole class, great. But when I stopped growing in sixth grade, by eighth grade, I was like, oh, basketball's not going to be my thing. Let's move on to areas I have better potential.

    BREA

    And I think that that's, again, clues to talent, right? So a lot of times people don't understand that competition as a CliftonStrength is not the only competitive talent. There's actually three of the 34 that are very competitive. And I think you have all three in your top 10, or maybe your top five, don't you?

    LISA

    Tell more. Tell more. Everybody wants to know what your list is going to be.

    BREA

    I know, here we go on a tangent. So competition, obviously, and Maximizer is competitive, but more competitive with yourself. And then Woo, it literally has win in the title, right? Winning others over. So three influencing talents that are motivated, that enjoy, that are satisfied when there's a component of winning.

    LISA

    And even though it was a seemingly a tangent, it wasn't because you tied that into doing what you love and picking up those things that you love. And yes, by the way, those are all in my top 10. And let's see. So if we tie this all together, how would you send someone away with their homework of how to identify a little bit more of what they love, how to have some more fun or how to live their best life?

    BREA

    Actually, I think one of the best coaching questions out there, or at least one of my favorites, is how can I make this more fun? Or what could I do to enjoy this task a little more? That's a very easy self-coaching question that you can immediately start to practice today. And it doesn't have to be only when things are challenging. It can also be when things are going well. Add another layer of talent. That's really the best case to not just have one of these clues to talent shining, but if it could be easy for you and if you can enjoy it, you know, gosh, that's bonus.

    LISA

    Yes. And since you went specific and in the moment, I'll give a homework that is more retroactive, where you take a glance through the last two weeks of your to-do list, your calendar, and go through things you've already completed and pick out the ones that spark for you like, oh, I really liked that. I was really doing what I loved in some way when I was operating in that thing. And then ask yourself the why question or what, what did I love about that? Why did I love it? And see if you can get a little deeper to understand so you could apply that more broadly to other things. Now, if they want to work with you, Brea, and they're like, yeah, yeah, homework, but I want you to ask me these questions and walk me through it. Tell them best way to work with you.

    BREA

    Yeah. If you want me to coach you, go to my website, brearoper.com, then schedule a call.

    LISA

    And if you want to work with me, Lisa, on leadthroughstrengths.com, there's a link called get coached. I would love to step you through any of these kind of questions and thoughts that you might have for yourself. With that, I would end with this thought. I believe this came from Brea, by the way, but I'm totally stealing your line because When you're operating at your best, when you're doing what you love, you feel better. And people notice that you feel better and your contributions are bigger. So I'm going to steal the Brea line as a closer that is, feel better, do better.

    BREA

    Yes. You don't have to steal it from me. I'm sure I stole it from somebody else. It's just the truth, right? When we feel better, we do better. Go enjoy your life. Go enjoy your life. And always remember that hard work doesn't have to feel hard. When you work from your strengths, you get to do what you love and love what you do. And that's the life that we're meant to live. So let's do it.

Remember, hard work doesn’t have to feel hard. Aligned with your strengths, it actually feels easy, energizing, and fun!
— Love, Brea

MEET YOUR CO-HOSTS

BREA ROPER
Communication | Woo | Activator | Futuristic | Connectedness

If you need a Strengths Hype Girl, for yourself or your team, connect with Brea at brearoper.com. She’s ready to deliver an inspirational keynote, empowering training, or transformational workshop. If you’re looking for an expert guide to support your internal Strengths efforts, reach out today! 

LISA CUMMINGS
Strategic | Maximizer | Positivity | Individualization | Woo

To work with Lisa, check out team workshops and retreats at the Lead Through Strengths site. For 1:1 strengths or life coaching, check out the Get Coached link. For independent coaches, trainers, and speakers, get business tools support with our Tools for Coaches membership.


The Fine Print: This podcast is not sanctioned or endorsed by Gallup in any way. Opinions, views and interpretations of CliftonStrengths© are solely the beliefs of Lisa Cummings and Brea Roper.

Ep. 151 - How Did You Do That?

Have you ever heard someone say, “Wow! How did you do that?” or “You make that look so easy!” and think, ‘What? Like it’s hard?’ (I see you, Elle Woods!) Or maybe you’ve recognized how others seem to be able to pick up or breeze through certain tasks with an effortlessness or ease you only dream of.

It’s all a clue to talent! In this episode, we talk about one of the “5 Clues to Talent”: Rapid Learning. We share personal anecdotes and examples of how recognizing what comes easy to you can lead to a deeper understanding of your strengths. Whether it's performing on stage, hyping people up, or crushing spreadsheets and TPS reports, acknowledging these innate abilities can lead to a deeper understanding of your strengths – and make hard work feel a little more easy breezy.

So, grab your metaphorical ‘easy button’ and join us for this episode on the 2nd “Clue to Talent”: Rapid Learning.

    1. Your Talents Are Easy Buttons

      One of the key clues to talent is ease - those things that come effortlessly to us but may seem challenging to others. Recognizing and embracing what comes easily to you is fundamental for your success. Leaning into your talents can help you work smarter, not harder.

    2. Apply Talent to Challenges

      When you’re faced with a challenge, ask yourself, “How can I make this easy?” By leveraging your easy buttons, you can excel in your endeavors - even the most challenging ones.

    3. Easy Buttons are Not Excuses to be Lazy

      Continuous learning and skill development that aligns with your talents i. By taking action to learn skills that complement your strengths, you can make the path to success feel more effortless and enjoyable.

    • Identify Your Natural Talents: What comes easy to you? What are you doing when you hear others say, “Wow! How do you do that?” or “You make that look so easy!” 

    • Invest in Your Talent: Seek opportunities to grow your talent with knowledge, skill, and practice. For exponential growth, make sure your investment is directly aligned with your talent. For example, if you have a gift for gab, consider taking a Toastmasters class or reading up on storytelling techniques.

    • Spot Talent in Others: When you notice someone excelling with ease, acknowledge their talent and ask them about it. Show appreciation for their abilities and learn from their approach.

    • Further Reading: Check out the books Soar With Your Strengths by Dr. Clifton to learn more about the Five Clues to Talent, and Flow by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi to deepen your understanding of talent development and rapid learning.

  • Lisa
    Hi, I'm Lisa. 

    Brea

    And I'm Brea

    Lisa
    And today's topic is, how did you do that? 

    Brea

    How did you do what?

    Lisa

    I know, that's what they're thinking when they clicked on the title. It's that thing that you watch someone else doing and you're like, how do you do that so easily? How do you make that look so smooth?

    Brea

    So this is one of what Gallup calls the five clues to talent. I call it ease. You know, what comes easy to you? Gallup might use the words rapid learning. You know, what's effortless? You said what's smooth, right? What just kind of feels natural.

    Lisa

    Yeah, when people actually ask you, how did you do that? Or how do you do that so quickly? Or how does that come so naturally to you? Those are the things that other people notice, usually before you do, that something is really great on you, but it's so easy to you, you don't think it's special, so you don't even know it's a thing.

    Brea

    Yes, I think is so helpful for people to know these clues. Number one, if you don't know what your talents or your strengths are, and you want to try to figure out what are you naturally good at? Where are your natural talents? This is one of the clues to kind of clue you in to where those natural talents may lie.

    Lisa

    Yes, because not everybody has done CliftonStrengths. Not everybody's heard of CliftonStrengths or the book StrengthsFinder 2.0. So when you see something in someone else and you're like, hey, how do you do that so easily? These are just really easy things to actually say it out loud.

    Brea

    And also, if you already know your CliftonStrengths, this will offer a little bit of a nuance and a layer to help you better develop that by saying, OK, I know I lead with Activator. How does Activator help me do something easily?

    Lisa

    Yeah, you feel those instincts, like, oh, I have this sense of urgency about everything. Why? And then you realize, oh, that's why that comes easily to me, moving fast, making decisions, because I want it to get going because of Activator. Does anything come to mind for you, Bria, when you think about something someone's noticed in you that just comes really easily to you?

    Brea

    Wow, thank you so much for asking. I was not reflecting on my own talent. I'll put you on the spot on that one. I mean, the first thing that comes to mind is singing. That's usually what people will remark on. I also love when you call me the strengths hype girl. And I think that that does come so easily to me, you know, hyping people and finding what's good in them.

    Lisa

    This is a great element to Clues to Talent where when someone compliments you and says, like the first time I said, Oh my gosh, you are the strengths hype girl. And you were like, Oh my gosh, thank you for saying that. You know those feelings when someone compliments you on something and you're like, oh, I love being noticed for that. Oh my gosh, how cool. Those are great moments where they're clues to your talent and you want to give that contribution and you're so excited that someone else cared about it.

    Brea

    I think that's something with this clue to talent, people respond one of two ways. They say, what? Like, that's a thing? Like, what do you mean? Like, it's just so easy for me to do it. And you think that's special or you think that's cool, right? Or their eyes shine, you know, and they're like, oh my gosh, thank you, like, for seeing that in me because it is so natural for us. It is so easy for us to do that thing that we don't really think anything of it, you know, or we don't think that people notice. Or they say, what? Like, that's a thing? Like, what do you mean? Like, it's just so easy for me to do it. And you think that's special or you think that's cool, right? Because it is so natural for us. It is so easy for us to do that thing that we don't really think anything of it, you know, or we don't think that people notice. Like, I think of the weird people out there who can just put together an Ikea piece of furniture, you know? They don't need to follow the instructions. They can just put it together. How did you do that? Right? How did you do that? That's so hard for me. I can't even imagine putting together something from Ikea, period. And the fact that you did it, and you did it without instructions, that's pretty amazing. That's a clue to talent.

    Lisa

    Mm-hmm. Yeah, I remember there were some people who were like, people always talk to you and it's like you know people everywhere you go, but they're actually strangers. People would be like, why do they always talk to you? Finally, I just started saying, because I'm approachable. I mean, I am genuinely on the inside, so receptive to anybody I don't know talking to me. And they can feel that apparently, because they will do it. But that's your talents working, even if you don't realize it until someone else points it out.

    Brea

    So Lisa, what you're describing is such an interesting nuance and a really cool perspective to this. It's easy for you to respond to someone who just starts talking to you, right? You know, that's easy for you because of your talents. What I'm also hearing from you is that it's easy for others to approach you because of your talents, right? Your positivity is giving off this vibe that like, hey, come on, you know, your woo's like, come and talk to me. So they feel it and it's easy for them to approach you. And I think that is so true when people notice that someone is at ease when they're working or when they're talking to you. I notice, especially for things that are hard for me, naturally, like cooking. I don't love it. I'm not very good at it. I love to eat. So I appreciate someone who can cook. And when I can see someone like in the kitchen and they're just chopping away and throwing in a dash of this and, you know, a little drop of this and a glug of that and all I have to do.

    Lisa

    That's how she is.

    Brea

    Oh, come on. Oh, does she have Arranger?

    Lisa:

    I don't think so. It's just like, if it just had a little dash of a shallot and I'll be like, what's a shallot?

    Brea

    Her cute accent too. I love that. Shout out to Ty. We love that. And I want to be around that because it's attractive when someone is at ease. Right. So that's another reason for us to exist in our talents.

    Lisa

    Right. Because it's a vibe. It's good for us and it's good for them. Yes. That's really interesting. You know, this topic makes me think of this workplace example. And if I put it in the context of the vibes you just brought up. Okay, so this is a classic me not in my clues to talent discovering someone else's talent going on something that's easy for them. I was back in Cuba and early in my career and I had this leader. She used to come by our cubes and make these requests ad hoc throughout the day now I lead through focus It's the only way I get things done, which is heads down focused on one thing Don't interrupt me or I'll be totally messed up. I just want power hour sort of thing and she would come around, interrupt you, and be like, hey, can you slice and dice this data? And it would be this new way to display a thing on a chart. And I learned how to do this in Excel. I could do it. It's a skill that can be learned. But every time I would feel her feet coming by, I would be like, here comes a slice and dice request. I felt interrupted, frustrated. I would be like, And these are things that would have taken five minutes if I felt that ease. So then I would take a break. Then I would check in on my email and make sure I'm updated before I started. Then I would go grab a cup of coffee downstairs so I could get myself mentally prepared and focused to do this thing. You know, 40 minutes later, I've finished this pivot table and I'm back into my other work. And it's something that should have been very fast. So I noticed this colleague over the cube, how he reacted totally different from the way I did. He'd be like, oh, yes, and what about this way? And what about that? And they would bubble off of each other about these charts. It's all clues to talent. You start to see where someone just feels ease and it's no problem and it's fast and that somebody else can do the same thing and have the same skill level. But it comes off totally different. And that's all about whether it's just a learned skill.

    Brea

    So, I love this and I'm gonna shine a spotlight on that word learned. That's what we're talking about. When it's truly talent, you can't teach talent. You can't learn talent. You've got it or you don't, right? It's easy for you or it's not. You can learn skill. You can teach skill. But it's not the same, right? The outcome isn't the same. If the skill is not aligned with a natural talent, it feels different. It feels different to you and it feels different to others. I think that's so good, Lisa.

    Lisa

    Like, let's just talk about the implication of what you just said, because one person could look at what you just said and conclude, well, then we can all get the same result. It just may be a little more ramp up time for somebody else who has to build a skill. But if you look at it like, could you maximize this? Could you give that guy I'm talking about, if he had three times as many pivot tables, and I had three times as many PowerPoints, we might be able to be twice as productive instead of someone saying, but everyone needs to know how to do everything. Also, think about the culture. I think implication of the culture are even bigger because what if you get to love what you do? What if you get that reaction that he had where he was like, oh yeah, and what about this way to slice and dice it? Oh yeah, and what about this way to tell the story? Meanwhile, I was just like yeah get done the minimum thing so I can move on to my next and so I think there is a huge performance implication that a lot of people don't think about because a lot of Huge yeah, it seems like on the surface. You could just say just get it done suck it up do the thing and and don't complain about it, which is what I was doing, but it wasn't the best thing for the culture or the results or the creativity or our extra, you know, people talk about discretionary effort, things like that. So that is where I think this idea of rapid learning and ease, like if it's easy for you, you're going to give such a bigger contribution compared to if you just have to get it done.

    Brea

    And I want to be clear when we're talking about ease or when we're talking about rapid learning, when we're talking about this, this clue to talent, let's be clear. I'm not promoting a hundred percent lifestyle of ease. I'm not promoting laziness. I'm not here to say, don't do anything that's hard. Don't challenge yourself. Okay.

    Lisa

    Let's just be clear. Good clearing.

    Brea

    Brilliant. Challenge is good for us, right? Not an excuse to be lazy. But when it comes to work, when it comes to performance, when the outcome matters, Why make it harder for yourself? Life is already hard. Why make it harder? You know? And if as managers, as leaders, as parents, as friends, as spouses, if we can look at ourselves and the people in our lives and set them up for success by saying, how can we work together to let you do what comes naturally for you and I'll do what comes naturally for me and together we're stronger. That sounds like a good world to me.

    Lisa

    And it's efficient. I think it's really telling you have the natural tendencies, you have these instincts and these talents that might lead you to be good at a thing. And then when you add the skill on top of it, the way it exponentially helps compared to how it would help someone else is an incredible thing because there are all these elements of it that feed together both the talent and the skill when they map up. That's when the performance is so incredible.

    Brea

    I love that. Yes, it's that alignment that really makes the difference. Hey, can we talk a little bit about this idea of rapid learning, how we learn, and how that relates to our talents?

    Lisa

    Yeah, that's a great way to close.

    Brea

    Some people learn quickly by themselves, maybe by reading or researching in a book or watching a YouTube video or whatever. I'm very much like high relationship building, high influencing. So if I have to learn something, I want to learn from people. You know, I want you to tell me how to do it. I want you to teach me. I want to like learn with you. So even the the way that we learn, not just how quickly or slowly we learn, but the way that we learn can also clue us into talent.

    Lisa

    Oh, yeah. That is a really cool nuance. I've heard you do that so many times because you, well, take your communication and you'll talk through a thing to learn the thing and even learn what your perspective is on the thing. I've absolutely heard that in you. I think about how to explain, I'm trying to make connections with the talents before ever having thought about this, but I tend to learn by getting going and doing something I'm very kinesthetic and whether that is I'm learning while moving like I would rather talk and be moving in order to Think it through better with body movement or actually just doing something like if somebody says Learn new software back in the old days when you would have a manual to do it I would be the person who would be like Just let me open it up and click around. I wanted to do it more through feeling or like the IKEA example you gave. I would rather see if I can spatially figure it out by getting the parts out and beginning to do it. I would prefer that. There's the movement element that really calls to me. And I don't know if I can map that to my CliftonStrengths specifically, but it's definitely a clue to where I'm good.

    Brea

    Yeah, it's such a good example. You know, what pops out for me is you're strategic, very adaptable in that way. It starts kind of thinking forward, moving forward, and then, you know, we could go this way, we could go that way, so let's just try it, and then we'll, oh, that didn't work, so we'll go this way instead, right? And I hear a lot from Activator, too. I don't want to project because Activator is high for me, but I hear this from people, not just myself. that activator learns by doing, right? We're sitting in a meeting and we're like, oh my gosh, can we please stop talking about it? Let's just try it. Let's just try. So maybe they're, you know, those are maybe contributing, you know, to that, but yeah, it, again, you don't need the assessment, you know, it's, it's another layer to developing your CliftonStrengths. And if you don't have an assessment or if you're just out in the wild, if you're at the grocery store or you're on a run or whatever and you're around strangers, look for this. Look for rapid learning. Look for what comes naturally to people. If you think to yourself, wow, how did they do that? Flip it from the focus being on you and like, oh, that's so hard for me. How did they do that? I must not be as good, right? That internal self-talk that can be negative sometimes. When you catch yourself saying, wow, how did they do that? Realize, wow, that's a clue to their talent. Say that to them. Gosh, that's amazing. That's amazing. can you teach me how to do it? They'll probably say no because it comes so easy to them. They're like, I don't know how I did it. I just did it. show them that what they're doing, how they're doing it, something about the way their brain is working right now is really, really special. What a gift, you know, we can give to others.

    Lisa

    That's such a perfect way to end the episode thinking about helping someone see their contribution. Before we move to the close, do you have any favorite resources that you would share on this topic if somebody wants to go a little deeper? Yes.

    Brea

    There's a book out there called Soar With Your Strengths. It is by Dr. Clifton. He's one of the co-authors of the book. And it goes through all five of these clues to talent. So pick it up. It's not just for rapid learning or, you know, ease, but it goes through all five and it is an excellent place to start if you want to kind of explore these five clues. A classic. What about you?

    Lisa

    I would add Flow by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. And we'll link that up in the show notes because you might not be able to spell that name if you're listening.

    Brea

    Oh, my gosh. I have listened to so many different people say that name because it's a great book and I want to know how to pronounce it correctly. I give up. You did that perfectly, Lisa.

    Lisa

    I think this was just the collection of the Dozens and dozens of people I've heard say it from podcasts and audiobooks over the years. If I look at it, I cannot say it. But if I remember what I've heard because I'm such an audio person, then I've got it.

    Brea

    I love it. Yeah, we'll put those in the show notes so people can go and grab it.

    Lisa

    Okay, so if someone wants to work with you on these clues, either spotting them in themselves or getting better at spotting them in other people in their lives, tell them how to work with you, Bria.

    Brea

    Look, come on, come to my website, BriaRoper.com. You can schedule a call. I'm just very relational. That's how I like to start everything. So if you want to do a workshop for your team, if you want individual coaching, if you want to bring me in to do the keynote, whatever it is, if you want to work together or explore that, just come to the website, set up a call. We'll talk about it.

    Lisa

    And I'm Lisa, if you want to work with me, leadthroughstrengths.com. There's a link called Get Coached in the main menu if you want to do one-on-one coaching on this. There's a link that says StrengthsFinder Workshops if you want to do this with your team and get good at spotting these and each other. And my newest product line is a membership called Tools for Coaches, where if you're trying to tap into your business side on being a coach, these will be some of those like grabbing other people's talent so you can spend your time where you're at your best.

    Brea

    I love it. I also want to encourage everyone, your take action for the week is to learn things, learn skills, learn knowledge that aligns with your talents. So if you've taken CliftonStrengths and you know that you lead with the communication talent, Maybe take a Toastmaster class or read up on the storytelling arc. Learn something that aligns with your talents to really align your natural talent with those skills to achieve the outcome that we're talking about here today.

    Lisa

    It's like that closing idea, hard work and skill development. It doesn't have to be so hard. Align it with your strengths and it actually feels easy. All ties back to your word, ease.

    Brea

    Easy buttons. Let's go. Let's go. Awesome. Thanks, Lisa. See you all next week.

Hard work doesn’t have to feel hard. Aligned with your strengths, it actually feels easy, energizing, and fun!
— Love, Brea

MEET YOUR CO-HOSTS

BREA ROPER
Communication | Woo | Activator | Futuristic | Connectedness

If you need a Strengths Hype Girl, for yourself or your team, connect with Brea at brearoper.com. She’s ready to deliver an inspirational keynote, empowering training, or transformational workshop. If you’re looking for an expert guide to support your internal Strengths efforts, reach out today! 

LISA CUMMINGS
Strategic | Maximizer | Positivity | Individualization | Woo

To work with Lisa, check out team workshops and retreats at the Lead Through Strengths site. For 1:1 strengths or life coaching, check out the Get Coached link. For independent coaches, trainers, and speakers, get business tools support with our Tools for Coaches membership.

 

The Fine Print: This podcast is not sanctioned or endorsed by Gallup in any way. Opinions, views and interpretations of CliftonStrengths© are solely the beliefs of Lisa Cummings and Brea Roper.